Smellyann Strikes Again

Day O' Beauty

Welp, I stayed up 'til 0500 attempting to sew three pairs of matchy-matchy shorts. Finally around 0200, I woke Rob up from the couch where he was snoozing, because I was absolutely losing my mind trying to follow the damn pattern. I stitched, unstitched, and restitched countless times, and it Just. Wasn't. Working. I emailed an exasperated message to MIL, who was probably throwing her hands up at my density from afar!  But Rob, my professional seamstress husband, couldn't figure it out either.

We spent over an hour ransacking the internet for something that would help us put together a simple pair of kids' shorts. We knew what to do. We had the pictures. We had the diagrams. We had the pithy instructions. We just didn't have the know-how.

Finally, I decided to make a teeny-tiny doll-sized pattern of the shorts. I freehand drew on some scrap fabric with a pencil and came up with a reasonable facsimile of the actual pattern pieces, minus the pockets. Screw the pockets! I started fiddling around with the pieces when it became absolutely clear: it was physically impossible to make the shorts the way the directions were written.  It just couldn't be done!

So I did to the pieces what it made sense to me to do, after reviewing instructions from MIL, Rob, and way, way back 20 years in home-ec class, and it worked! I made this wee pair of shorts that, incidentally, fit perfectly on my husband's schlong (yes, he tried them on "it," because that's just the way we are and just be glad I spared you the picture):

Of course, no hems.

So within an hour, I had stitched together two identically-sized pairs of shorts for the non-twins and was debating what to do about Chloë's! Of course, we were quite pleased to finally have a resolution after hours of feeling like the dumbest people on Earth. It's not a feeling to which we were accustomed!

By that point, though, I was too tired to take out hundreds of small stitches, so I gave up and joined Rob on the couch for a few hours' sleep.

When I woke up, Jack was sitting next to me, and Chloë and Rob were gone to her audition for a NY agent. It was a no-pressure try-out, since she already has a New York agent. She just needs the practice.

I was just getting into the shower when they returned. Apparently the woman told Chloë she did a good job and was going to be famous! We shall see about that...

I left the house with instructions for Rob to give Jack these clothes and Sophia those clothes and take some pictures outside of them in their non-twin-set. The shirts are enormous; I'd bought a bunch of the smallest size they had at Michael's when they were 6/$10, with no real purpose in mind.

So, yeah, though the waistbands fit, they are still kind of swimming in the shorts. That's okay, they'll have them a few years.

Sophia loved her outfit and wore it all day long, but Jack couldn't wait to peel it off and get back into his beloved blue outfit he'd picked out for the day. He wants what he wants and he wants it now!

What do you think? I know, they are not exactly stylin', but I did the thing, anyway.

So my appointment was at my salon, where I was to get my most expensive 'do ever.  Normally I'm pretty cheap about taking care of my hair, although I would rather pay more for a decent cut, but I've always colored it myself at home. Not this time! I wanted something good for Europe.

Well, I was there almost three hours, and I wish I could tell you all the observations I made while there. I had good blog fodder, but now  I've forgotten it! Other than this: the woman in the chair next to me mentioned that she homeschools her children. But she was using the word "retarded" repeatedly in conversation, either blissfully unaware or not caring that it has become a major faux pas to do so in today's society. Is that really the sort you want educating their own young? Not for me. They are talking about it being illegal to homeschool unless you at least have a college degree, and I can't say that's the worst idea I've ever heard...

But enough about that; I know such an opinion will be controversial amongst my readers!

So after I was tortured pampered for so long, I went up front to pay my bill. I was so stunned by the cost (but of course, I didn't show it) that I forgot to buy the shampoo I needed. All I could think at the time was, Gee, I feel like the President or something...

But I did like the cut and color. See? I decided to go a little lighter, you know, for summer? I think it looks lighter IRL than in the picture. And ignore the silly look on my face; I was being goofy for Rob.

Afterward, I moseyed a few doors down to the ceramics studio, thinking it might be a good place to take the kids this summer, especially on a Monday when the pool is closed. Well, instead of answering my questions, the proprietor just handed me a sheet of paper, saying, "I think this will tell you everything you need to know." Not hardly! How exasperating. Can't you just have a conversation with me?? NO ONE else was in the store, after all. And come to find out, they are closed on Mondays, too. Ugh!

I called Rob to see how he and the chillens were doing, asking permission to go get my nail fixed. That's right, the superglue didn't hold and it fell off again that evening. Very annoying. Permission was granted, so I headed on over to that salon. I walked in and they were packed. Of course, Saturday afternoon! I was embarrassed to find myself flipping those fine ladies off when telling them the problem - it was my middle finger, after all! But they seemed to take no notice and told me to have a seat. It was another hour before I was finished, but I finally walked out, free of charge, good as new.

I was famished by then, since it was after 1600 and I hadn't eaten yet today. I called Rob to see if he wanted a sub or not, and he did, so I went in. The tomatoes were back on the menu, and I asked the guy if they were okay now. Duh, of course he was going to say yes, they put them out. But I'd been in a couple of days ago when signs were up that they weren't going to be serving them, so I figured if they had them, they were all right, right?

Rob was in the middle of eating his sub (his were the tomatoes; I don't eat them) when I got an urgent email about the Moe's shop (Welcome to Moe's!) I'm going to be doing this week, saying there must be no tomatoes behind the counter, yadda yadda. Were they safe after all? Rob did a little research online and finally decided to go ahead and eat them. Cross your fingers he doesn't get sick!

When I got home, after eating, I got back to work at the sewing machine. I finally decided, instead of ripping out all those stitches, to just cut the pieces apart and have the shorts be smaller and, probably, fit better. I had the shorts done in about 20 minutes, just in time for Chloë to wake up from her nap and try them on.

I know, this is a ridiculous, hideous picture. We'd just given her her allowance, so she decided to pose with that, and her stance makes the shorts look all bunchy. But she was thrilled with them and decided to keep them on for the rest of the night. I love that my girls love their handmade clothes so much, regardless of how well they're made.

And yes, I continue to make stupid goofs. I have a hem on the outside of Chloë's freaking shorts!!! By that point, I just didn't care anymore, since it was obvious these were going to be relegated to the 'playclothes' category.

And I immediately started (I want to say 'casting on,' but alas, this isn't knitting and the term doesn't apply) cutting out the pattern for one of the matching dresses I'm going to make the girls (in the blue, if you remember it) - and I totally forgot to cut out the notches on the first piece of fabric! Gahhhh!! What is wrong with me? I swear, sewing turns me into a bumbling idiot.

But I'm still enoying it! I bet Rob can't wait until I go back to my hobbies where I'm not constantly calling upon him for help.

Jack came down, wanting a snack, so he and Chlo were given an ice cream sandwich. We have tons of Schwan's ice cream in the freezer right now, and it's delicious! We've also tried the spinach artichoke appetizers and the cream cheese wontons, and we liked them very much, too. Just giving you a little update on how that's going, for those who were interested!

Edit to add: I got the book My Sister's Keeper in the mail today, a surprise from my MIL after talking about it but my not being able to find it at the library. Yay! I can't wait to read it; seems like I'm the last person I know who has. But I'm resisting the urge to stay up all night reading it. I'm going to save it for the cruise - well, the flights, anyway. Don't spoil it for me!

After dinner (frozen pizza, if you must know), it was story time for the kids. We read... oh, what is it called. That Enchanted Princess movie that came out a while ago, with Patrick Dempsey? But in book form. I so hate the children's books that are written after the movie. They are always so lame, and they skip so much anyway, it doesn't make sense unless you've seen the movie. But that's what they picked, so that's what they read. Ooh, I forgot to mark it on their sheets, thanks for reminding me. Summer Reading Program, we are still with ya!

The kids went to bed, and then Rob and I settled down to watch The Bucket List while I crocheted on Steph's baby dress. It's comin' along, my dear. And it was a good movie. We laughed, and I cried. Rob gave it a five; I guess I agree and can happily recommend it.

In health news, since you didn't ask, I had a lot of that problem with my eye today. I still feel like something is pressing on my left eyeball, and I couldn't help but think "brain tumor brain tumor brain tumor" whenever I had that sensation. I'm not joking around; two of my friends have actually had brain tumors, so the probability of my having one, too, has got to be slim! Like I said, it just better not strike me down during our cruise.

That's about all, folks. Happy Father's Day to all the daddies out there!

Fin.

Like Seven Inches From The Midday Sun

Man, it was a hot one.

{Name that tune!} {Red for hot!}

We woke up at 0800 today, because Chloë needed to be at the dance studio at 0915 for her ballet recital rehearsal. After I convinced Rob to drive her, and we got all the usual shenanigans out of the way about what to wear, they headed out, and I, well, I wasted time online. What else?  There was email to check, blogs to read, Webkinz to play... etc. I can always find plenty of ways to waste time online.

I eventually ran out, though, and went back to crocheting that shirt thing I'm working on for myself. I only got another two rows done before I was ready to konk out again. I don't know what it is  - yeah, I do, endless double crocheting - but I can't stay awake making it. I pushed through it and got back online so I wouldn't fall asleep and waste the day.

Then I went up to shower and fart around with Jack and Sophia while Rob was outside (finally!!! We were *those* neighbors) doing yardwork. The garden is still a mess, though. Shoot, I meant to take before/after pictures of our "yards," which I put in quotes because they are each, like, a square foot. I tried to get them to clean up their rooms, but it just wasn't happening today, so we played and fooled around and acted silly. Good stuff, makes them feel loved, and I got my warm fuzzies.

After Rob went back to pick up her-Chloness, I left to obtain my new glasses from For Eyes. Whoa! It's always amazing to go up a step in strength; everything looks so clear. Do you think we have enough pairs? That's not even all of them, but we didn't feel like going upstairs. We could open our own mall kiosk!

Afterward, I came home to get my family and my camera, and we headed back out. This time, to Red Wing Park for the Relay For Life event. Noo, no, I wasn't participating - not with my back! - but I had donated a raffle prize that I needed to bring out to Linda from Bunco, and Stephanie and Tim were there walking, too. Turns out their tables were right next to each other, out of a hundred or so!

Stephanie and Tim, sweltering after doing another lap in the 100+degree heat. Crazy freggin' hot!

Luckily, Stim had brought a cooler full of popsicles, and we quickly helped ourselves to five. Ahhhhh. That's relief.

Grayson, Steph's charge for the day, was desperate for some cooling down, too. Oh, man, we just wanted to skedaddle on out of there and go to the pool!

Poor Chris from Bunco, Linda's partner at the Relay, hurt her back! She looked much cuter than this IRL when not lying down!

Heeeeeere's Linda! She's good fun, very caring and full of laughs. She was disappointed we left so soon after we got there, but it really was too much for us. And I forgot to stop for cash for the raffles, anyway. Shucks!

After we left, we drove down to the Farmer's Market to visit with Uncle Chuck and score some of his fresh food of the sea. Actually, this was Rob's first time meeting UC, and he liked him right off the bat. I had him pick our selections this time, since I usually get to, and he chose crab cakes (good boy!), tuna, and frog legs?!!  I actually have eaten them before, on a previous cruise, but (a) they are not seafood and (b) c'mon, I'd rather do a muscular dissection than consume them. Blech. So those are all Rob.

That's all I have for pictures today, but it's not the end.

When we got home, the Littles took a nap while Chloë and I worked on whipping her monologue into shape for her audition with some casting directors visiting her acting school from L.A. She studied and studied, and practiced numerous times for her dad and I, so all that was left was getting there and going through it!

We saw several people there from her January iPOP! trip, so I spent some time catching up with them while Chloë waited in line with the other auditioners. Auditionees? I don't know. Of course, since we are 16 days away from flying to Europe, I had to share about our upcoming Mediterranean cruise! Well, that got a lot of attention, and we sat down gabbing about all the places we're going to visit and promises to email all about it when we get home. I, of course, completely forgot that I have a blog for such purposes, duh! I'll just email her the link, I think. ;)

Anyway, eventually I went back to the line to keep my daughter company, and she was getting so much attention from the staff and other parents that she turned into her usual, most annoying hypercharged kitty cat self, and I had to take her aside to talk to her about behaving more grown-up in the audition room. I also had a plan for later, so I promised her if she did really well on her audition, we could pick out a new Webkinz. I'm such a sucker!

Well, I wasn't allowed in the audition, but she told me they said she did a good job, and she said she only had stage fright for a minute before she remembered her monologue and said the whole thing. They asked how old she was, and she answered, "six and a half," and they asked her favorite food, and she said, "fruit! apples!" and something else. I wonder how that will all play out. As always, we shall see...

I'd forgotten my purse, so we had to drive all the way home for it before going to Walgreens. I needed to fill a prescription there, and I wanted to check and see if they had the special Webkinz Cares animals that benefit their foundation for helping children. They did! But only one kind. She picked a certain (had to be that one) L'il Kinz Cocker Spaniel out of the lot, and then we grabbed what we needed, and my Rx, and headed home to adopt little miss Fluffy.

The Littles were up then, and we had our crab cakes, and some chips and dip, for dinner. Chloë developed a bad headache that had her in tears and nauseous (amazingly, our pukey girl didn't throw up), but Daddy gave her some elixir, and her mac & cheese seemed to help. She's passed out on our bed upstairs, though, not having made it all the way to her bed.

Well, I'm off like a prom dress. I'm going to try and work on that crochet some more while we watch August Rush.  Have y'all seen it?

Fin.

Ramblings

Today, the mail brought Chloë's clothes that I left behind in the hotel room when we overslept and I had to drag her out of bed and put her on the plane in her pj's. It was the iPOP souvenir shirt that all the performers signed for her, so I was so chagrined at LAX when I realized it was still in the drawer along with her undies and jeans. We still have one student left to sign it, so I'm glad it's back in our hot little hands.

Note to Oompa: Pleeeeaaaaase tell me how to take a picture so that the foreground is in focus and the background isn't? I did it once, but I don't know what I did, and I've been unable to reproduce it. I want to take cool pictures of stuff, too! And btw, what's the next step on our quilted squares?

It was freezing this morning when I put Chloë on the bus for her first day back to school. What a long break that was. Remember that guy, Robert, who I renamed something else? Craig, that's it. Robert-not-Craig and I talked about our holidays and his son who's in the military and our adventures in L.A., at the bus stop and on the way back to our respective houses. I had a point for bringing him up, but now I forget.

I put Jack on the bus and then ran into a shower before Jadey got here. I was still running late and had to throw on my clothes as I ran down the stairs, hair sticking every which way, when the doorbell rang. Sophie and I got dressed lickety-split, and then we went to my dr. appointment. I told him about not being able to wake up fully for the past week, the headaches and dizziness, and he thought it was just from traveling and jet lag. For a whole week?!! That's kind of a long time, so he wants me to go in for a full check-up. Meh. I probably won't. Have to do that soon for the drastic bypass anyway. Ooh, speaking of which, I have to remember to do one last blood test after a fast. Remind me Wednesday when Jadey's not here!

So then we drove over to Michael's to get the embroidery floss and beads for the friendship bracelet that "Chloë" has to make (psht, right) for trading at Brownies on Thursday. I saw much signage trumpeting the now-openness of the new Panera and just had to go in for lunch. I recognized a lot of the employees from the other Paneras around. Lunch was good. The place was hoppin'. They don't quite have everything down pat yet, but I'm sure they will when we go in next. Week.

We picked up our crafty things next door, taking care not to turn our heads to the right our left and get inspiration for some other crafty thing that would invariably cost a lotta money, and then we went to the bank. For the second time, since I went last night and found the depository not working. And what? It's closed again. Argh!! I would've driven down to the next branch, but I had to get home for Jack.

By the time we got home, I was feeling the annoying overwhelming drowsiness again. I sat down. Jack came home. Chloë came home. And soon, thankfully, Rob came home, and we put Jadey and the kids down for a nap, and I took one myself. I'm glad it was a short one. Lately, I'd been asleep more than awake, and it's frustrating to lose that much time.

I talked to the agents in L.A. today. I think they're getting annoyed with me calling, but so what. They never answered my question about exclusivity on Friday, and I need to know before we sign with NYC and Orlando. I called NYC again today and still haven't heard back. I'm hoping we can get that contract straightened out and then go up for maybe MLK day for a signing. Don't know why I can't just sign it and mail it to them like L.A. but whatever. Hey, trip to New York! We're hoping to take Stephanie-babysitter along and make a fun deal out of it. And maybe her husband. And maybe mine. Depending. He can't take any more days off though, or he won't have enough for the cruise, and you know I'm not missing that!

Well, that's all. I have cat litter to vacuum up.

Fin.

NEWSFLASH!

More good news from iPOP!

When we were in L.A. doing the meet-and-greets with all the agents and management companies, the agent from MMG (Model Management Group) in NYC chased us down after we left their table, to get more information from us. Well, they just called Chloë's acting school a little while ago to get in touch with us. We got the message and called in. The guy was very New York, very different from L.A. "Yeah, we want to work with Chloë, can you get to New York? Okay, email me some head shots. Thanks, bye." Very short, very terse, but very good!!

This is so exciting!!!

Fin.

You Turn My Brown Eyes Pink

I have pink-eye. Loverly. So when Jade came today, I could not open my eyes. They were matted shut and I felt like I'd been punched in the right one. When Jack came home from school, we brought her home, and Rob took me to the ER to find out what was going on and get some meds (since I couldn't get an appointment at my clinic). Yep, pink-eye. Is *any* eye infection going to be labeled as conjunctivitis? Because I don't know anyone with pink-eye, and I know it's because I wore my contacts last night...

Anyway, how y'all doin'? We came home Tuesday night. After such an inauspicious start, the trip really turned around and was quite successful for us! I have so much to do, so many people to contact and follow up with, papers to fill out, etc. and have just been exhausted and feeling like poo. So frustrating, that bit, but it's exciting thinking about all that we have ahead of us! For starters, I need to get Chloë a California Work Permit, which her school has to sign and approve for her to fly out for auditions and work whenever we get called up. We're now trying to figure out when and how to move out there, which is causing us some consternation thanks to Rob's being in the military. Anyone want to move with us? Seriously?

She's the only child in her age group that came home with a contract in her hand, from iPOP. She ended up winning three awards total for her acting! Most kids had one or two callbacks, and she had twelve!  I'm so proud of how well she did, for being so young and little and for starting out feeling like doodyballs. When I told her how proud I was after she did her scene, she gushed, "Awww, and I'm so proud of you for just sitting there and watching me!"  Funny kid.

Here are the pictures from her trip, if you would like to see!

We had a really fun time out there, and she cried when it was over and time to go back. Twice. Daddy met her at the airport with roses, and a little boy came up to her and gave her a dozen silver helium balloons, so she was just walking on air when we got into the van to go home.  Oh! and when The Tots saw her, they ran up to her, screaming her name, and she ran to them, and they all stopped and hugged each other tightly. It was the sweetest, mostly loving thing. Then Sophie and Jack saw me and ran to me, and I realized how much I had missed them so. And then I got to Rob, and it felt so good to be back in his arms. It's going to be rough being apart, if we move and he stays behind. Rough, rough, rough.

It's funny what a difference a week makes. Both Jack and Sophia looked plumper than I'd remembered. And they are such funny kids! [The agent wants me to bring them in, too. Too bad Jack is twinless, or he'd (they'd)have tons of work of his own.] Sophia says so many funny things, over and over, and is just such a comical baby, and Jack is just so Jack! I love my babies. It's so good to be back with them.

Last night was Bunco night. Drunko Bunko. We had a really fun time. I just love the camaraderie, the screaming and yelling and shouting and laughing. It's just once a month, but it really gives me a boost. And crappy Carolyn wasn't there, whom none of us can stand, which made it even better! Stephanie came over afterward until 0100, and she and Rob and I laughed and gabbed and ... laughed some more. I'm going to miss my Bunco group when we go!

...Chloë just had a bad dream and is complaining of an upset tummy. Must go!

Fin.

Hey Y'all!

Well, today was a much better day!  It didn't start out that way. We were supposed to get up wicked early to go talk to all the agents, but Chloë's tummy wasn't feeling good, and I wasn't going to push her. And then I started coughing up blood. No good. So we stayed in the room and rested.

Finally, we felt better and took a cab over to the other hotel instead of waiting around in the rain for the shuttle. We didn't get much time to talk to  all the agents (and managers and casting directors and what have you), but we met with some and ALL of them wanted to work with Chloë. They want us to move to L.A., they want us to move to Orlando, they want us to move to NYC...! So we're trying to figure out wth we're going to do next. Tomorrow we'll be callbacks, so we'll find out more information then.

Then tonight was the awards ceremony and dinner. Chloë won an award for being in the TOP TEN for acting, out of a huge - HUGE - room full of kids!! The 'award' was a dog tag that says "iACT TOP TEN" (the top four get trophies). None of the other little girls from our group won, so we are working really hard on bringing her giant head back down to size and understanding about winning and not winning and hurt feelings and all that.

Welp, we have to get up early again, so we've got to get to bed! Ciao!

Greetings from L.A.

Hey, y'all. I'll probably keep this short, as I'm sooper exhausted, and we have to get up early again tomorrow.

Chloë's acting bug was derailed yesterday by a stomach bug that sent her to the hospital with severe dehydration from all the vomiting and poopying she was doing, for about 12 hours straight. It was bad. She was just lying there, listless and miserable, and she missed her auditions completely. We went to one, and she puked right outside the door, so I took her 'home'. At first I thought it was nerves, and I was quite grumpy about it, and then I was stressed not knowing what to do, and we were both in tears, and it was just plain AWFUL. She was so very thirsty, later on, and everytime I'd give her a drop of anything to drink, it would come right back up. I knew it was more than just nerves, or traveling, or missing Daddy. So an ambulance was called, and one of the Directors of her acting school rode along with us, and we ended up at Cedars-Sinai. I tried to find Britney Spears' bald head, but she wasn't to be found in the ER!

Anyway. Today, she's doing so much better. We went to her monologue audition first, and while she left out a big chunk of it, she delivered well the parts that she did remember, and she just kept on going like I told her to do if she messed up. That was good.  Then she did her scene with another of the older actors, and she nailed it. It was perfect, the best I've ever seen her do it. I told her what a great job she did, and she said, "Awww, and you did a great job just sitting there watching me!"  Some of the agents asked her questions and wrote notes, which was a really good sign.

Then we went back to the hotel room so I could give her a quick bath to make her curls bounce back to life, and we went down again so she could redo the commercial audition that she missed from yesterday. Well, she finally got up on the stage and completely forgot which thing she was supposed to be doing. I looked at the directors, and they looked at me, and I stood up and shouted, "Do your Campbell's Soup commercial, Chloë!" So she started right away and delivered it too quickly and without any hand motions, but at least she got through it! And they still thought she was adorable and asked for extra head shots and her age and stuff.

So tomorrow we go back eeeaaarrrrlllyyyy to start networking with all the agents, going from table to table and introducing her and giving head shots out. We'll do some seminars in the afternoon - or not, if we're too tired. I'd like to get some sightseeing in, but I don't know how without spending a couple hundred bucks! No, thank you. I just really want to see the 'Hollywood' sign!

Ruby - did you get my email? Call me if you want to meet up! I don't know when I'll get to check email again so use my cell.

Fin.

The Final Countdown

1: New Year's Day

2: Our Seventh Anniversary

3: Leave for Los Angeles

There's a bit of a whirlwind going on in my mind right now as I try to plan for our day tomorrow (Jack goes back to school, a lunch shop at Gordon Biersch and two at Dunkin Donuts, dinner and a movie with Rob, and lots of PACKING) and think of everything I need for our trip to L.A. Cell phone. Camera. For God's sake, don't forget the head shots and résumés! Knitting and magazine for the plane. Audition clothes. Party clothes. Oh yeah, clothes for me. Bathing suit? No time to swim. And on and on. Right, and we still have to practice her bits. She's got them down. Nothing to worry about there. Tomorrow she'll perform for Stephanie.

Oh, before I forget, if anyone wants to see, Chloë and all the other performers from across the nation are on here. Click on "iPOP! Directory" and then "Submit" in the new window. She's in the Virginia Beach school - which drives me nuts, since the school is really in Chesapeake. She's definitely one of the cuties!

That's about it. I am not feeling well and have slept much of the day, hoping I will be feeling 100% when it's time to step on that plane.

I'm nervous and excited!

Fin.

I'm Supposed To Be [insert just about anything else here]!

Welp, Christmas is over. It's good I told you that. Otherwise, you might not know.

My dad came in late last Sunday night - scared me half to death, even though I expected him any minute. We have café curtains in the bay window in the kitchen, where I was sitting doing my scrapbook. Next thing I know, 'tap, tap, tap' on the window, and I look up and see this big giant head. Ahhh! Thus it began.

The visit actually wasn't so bad this time. I had emailed him ahead of time that I didn't want any of that political, racist crap, and I wasn't going to wait on him hand and foot this time. Yay, me! Therapy's good for something. And he emailed me back without being all pissy and for the most part, he stuck with it.

So. Monday was Christmas Eve, and after we sat around (I watched Jade, who warmed to my dad instantly, and snuggled with him), we went to church for the singing and the candle-lighting that I so enjoy. Our attendance has been awful since we had Sophia - so, yeah, way too long ago to still be a good excuse - but the routine has just been all but shot since then. Oh, well. We try.

My dad, a steadfast Christian Scientist, seemed to really enjoy the service, although later he insulted my church as "harmless but useless." Shall I go there? Okay, at least I learn about what Jesus said there, intead of just what Mary Baker Eddy wrote. And after 65 years of going to the same church, he still hates every group who represents something he is not? I don't know if I'd call that harmless... so I guess we're even. BUDDOW!

But back to the Christmas spirit. ;)

We went home and had dinner - I'd stuck a frozen Smithfield marinated pork loin in a Pamper's Chef baker's stone before we left, turned on the oven, and bam! Savory smells greeted us when we arrived home. It was done!  Of course, I didn't eat it, but the boys seemed to enjoy it, as did The Human Garbage Can a.k.a. Sophia.

Then we opened our stockings, our Christmas Eve tradition. But we forgot our other one: Rob reading 'Twas the Night Before Christmas to the kids! Just completely left it out. Whoops. The kids went crazy with their stockings, even though I had really nothing in there but different candies this year, having put all the stocking loot in the attic with the 'big' stuff. Even my dad had a stocking - albeit containing nothing but a lump of coal - but he seemed to enjoy that.

Bed for the kids, then hours and hours of wrapping presents, for me. I'm so freaking fat now, my feet go numb soon after I sit on the floor, so it was an arduous process. (I can't wait 'til January 31st!!) I bought one of those new zippy paper cutter things from Scotch, and it was a bust. I prefer my nice sharp scissors, TYVM. Maybe when I get thinner and regain some agility, but for a big blog with short limbs who's stuck mainly in one spot, it didn't really do the trick.

Tuesday, the big day! After getting to bed around 2:30 AM, the kids woke us up at 8-something. Aghhhh. I made some cinnamon buns for breakfast (love that pop-open can stuff when you're too tired to think!), and then we headed in for the big mêlée. It was overwhelming. To me. And my dad kept saying the same thing. He was pretty much in a state of overwhelm during the entire visit, with the kids constantly crawling all over him, calling his name, wanting to show him something, tell him something or do something with him, and Christmas was even more so. He's a complete neat freak. I am, to an extent - but nothing like my father. No one is. I promise. He just kept looking at the toys (which are still there, by the way. Haven't moved. Well, to be played with, yes, but put away? Nope. Where?!) and paper and shaking his head, whimpering. I rather enjoyed his distress until he started bitching about it and yelling at the kids to clean up. 'Scuse me? Because I think it's my house, and those are my kids, and that is my job. And it's Christmas, for crying out loud.  Let them play with their new crap awhile! He caught me glaring at him over that.

The house shrinks a little bit every time someone comes to visit, y'know what I mean?

So Wednesday, Jade came back, and I felt like absolute crap. I had her in the bouncy seat for much of the day, so she wouldn't hurt herself with all the little toys spread everywhere, and I sat down on the couch for a breather. Rob and my dad were right there... next thing, I woke up to find Jade missing from her seat. Dad had picked her up and was napping with her on the couch. It warmed my heart. And not just a small bit because she's the brown baby. Who knew he liked little kids so much?? Between that Jade-snugging and the amount of time he spends playing with my kids, he really surprises me as a grandpa. He's definitely the fun one. He gets down. He gets into it. He only stops when he's really, genuinely tired. The man has some positive attributes, after all. (heh)

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I was supposed to have Jade, and all three days her mother called to say that her mother was going to keep her. Um, okay. (A) I really enjoyed the time I didn't have her, and (B) if I'm going to do this job, I'm going to want consistency and a constant paycheck. So that was the straw the broke the camel's back for me. I called her tonight and told her that it was no rush and I'd keep Jade until then, but she needed to find alternate childcare. It's a relief. I like Jade - love her, even - but organizing our schedule around hers has been a huge PITA.

So that's that. We did a ton of laundry, Chloë and I. I swear, I cannot climb that mountain. Who's the dude who kept having to push that rock up the hill? That's me, with the laundry. It used to be something I just did on Sundays. Now it's All. The. Time. UGH!!  But Chloë negotiated a $2 pay with me for helping with the laundry, and that meant she had enough money to buy another Webkinz when I paid her that and her allowance today. Cha-ching! She got the bullfrog and named her Lilly; that makes 12 for us. Do you know they don't give you a new room for your 10th and up - and you also can't use the pet's name when you buy a room for it and rename it? That's so annoying!!!  In other Webkinz newz, I gave her 9 charms and a bracelet for Christmas so we now have access - full, at that - to the Charm Forest! Fun stuff. (LOL!)

I took her to iPOP class today. She is so ready!!  I will be aghast if she blows it in Los Angeles. Just beside myself. She is doing so well, I would be shocked. Sean was really proud of her, and his wife came in and listened to her monologue today, too. She loved it and gave her muchos kudos.  Then she did her scene and her monologue again, for the ladies out front, and she did great. Good, good, good. We leave in four days!!! And last night, she was in the middle of saying grace when she switched gears and started saying the lines from her monologue. During grace!! It was pretty funny...

While we were at the mall today (for a lunch shop at Charley's Steakery or whatever), I looked in at both Gymboree and TCP for some cute clothes for her auditions - no dresses, or everyone will see her unnerpannies - and I was just so overwhelmed with the choices that we left. 'Sides, she's got lots of cute stuff. So we went to that boutique I love, the one that's going out of business, to see if there was anything, but they are practically empty. Bummer! I wanted to find a cute dress for Sophie too, but nothing. They have bitty baby girl clothes, and the only bitty baby girl I know is Lisa's Emilie, but she has no reason for a fancy party dress. Even a gorgeous little tangerine one. So I bought a bunch of hair doodles, a tiara, and a necklace-and-earring set, so we have lots of options for iPOP.

And that's my story, folks. Now to do those reports (oh yeah, we went to Bennigan's tonight for dinner. They sucked!!! as expected.)

Fin.

I'm a Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me

Don't freak out; those are song lyrics... ;)

So yesterday, I was sick, Jack and Chloë stayed home from school sick with fevers and coughing, and babies Sophie and Jade were coughing and sneezing and runny nosing and the like as well. It was a fun, funnish day for me. You know? Add Kleenex to the list of companies we should own stock in if we were ever to do something smart, like invest our money.

We watched Polar Express, The (thanks, Steph, for your lenditure of it) and laid around and felt like shit. Lay, whatever.

Rob worked overnight from 2200-0600, so in his absence I did some more Christmas decorating - stockings, outside lights, his crappy childhood ornaments that I hate am so glad he saved to put on our tree - and did some of my yarn cataloguing on Ravelry. Then I watched Thank You For Smoking (meh, it put me to sleep) while I worked a few rows of knitting until I didn't know what to do anymore because my effing pattern is missing. You can't keep a decent pattern in this house. So many grabby hands are happy to misplace things for you. Of course, I probably stuck it somewhere myself, but it's easier to blame the thigh-high crowd.

Confidential to Jurt Double Decker: Are you still out there? You haven't commented in a long time. Miss ya!

Today, Jadey was supposed to come at the buttcrack of dawn, but she didn't show up. I was knocked out on one couch, Rob was passed out on the other, and suddenly I heard Chloë hollering and pitching a fit upstairs. I woke Rob up to see what was the matter (not having remembered at the time that he had only been home and sleeping a few hours, poor thing), and it turned out she and Jack were locked in their room. Wonder how that happened? Rob thinks someone went potty in the middle of the night and did something to the lock on their way back in.

So it was 10:00 at that time. 10:00?!! Aaaughhh. We were supposed to be at the acting school at 10:00 for the auditioning class. The auditioning class that we have now missed for four weeks out of four. $%^(*&(!!! Oh, well. Now they'll have to drop us and we can start the next round when they hopefully reschedule it at a decent hour. No, 10:00 on a Saturday morning is not decent! :p

So I called Savanh, Jade's mom (not her real name, but she's Thai, and I think it's more like Phonesvanh - and don't ask me what her last name is), to see where my baby was. After all, I had depended on the doorbell to be my wake-up call, and it never came. She was running late, too. Her older kids would be strolling her down in a little while. Eventually, she arrived, snarfling and sniffling once again. Is it summertime yet??!!!

So eventually (yes, I'm aware I start sentences with "so" all the time) I made my way into the shower, and then Chloë and I rushed out to Chesapeake for her modeling audition with IMG Model Management from New York City. New York City?! (Does anyone else always say that, from that salsa commercial of awhile back?) Jade was sound asleep in her bouncy seat, so Rob kept her home with him. I have no idea what happened in that audition. In the queue, the other parents told me she was just so cute, she didn't have to say anything in there. The kids were in and out of the audition room so quickly, it was blink-and-you-miss-it speed. I never even saw the people. Odd, very odd.

Then we ran an unnamed errand, and I decided not to do a Footlocker shop at Greenbrier Mall that said it would pay $20 for an hourlong thing. Eh, no thanks. Wish I'd seen that before I printed out the paperwork.  So we drove out to Holland Road back here in town for a quick Sonic shop. I only had to buy a drink for it, but Chloë kept squawking about being hungry from the back seat, so I got her some mozzarella sticks and cheesecake bites. She ate maybe two bites. Nibble, nibble, nibble! (from the LifeSavers commercial) Oh well, more for me.

Back home, Jade had already been picked up by her mom's friend, which gave us a couple of hours to coach Chloë on her monologue and scene before her iPOP! class. She needed it. I hadn't touched the monologue in a while, and man, it showed. I was getting pretty frustrated. I might have yelled. I probably did, since on the way to class, Chlo said, "Mom, I still love you, even though you yelled." Heh. I'm trying not to think of all the money we've spent on classes and this L.A. trip. I'm trying not to put that kind of pressure on the kid. I'm trying to just let this be about fun and self-expression and confidence and following her bliss. But gawd, it's frustrating when she keeps forgetting the same one line over and over again!

All the practice paid off. We went to class, and I got to sit in on it for once. We discussed all of my concerns (like, she doesn't project very well, and she is doing a lot of coughing which throws her monologue well over the one-minute allowance) and some solutions (she might be miked, and hopefully she'll be better in three weeks when it's time). She practiced slating and doing her commercial, monologue and scene for Sean and the camera. We discussed all those weeks that she missed audition class, which Sean is also teaching. He's going to spend a couple of hours with her after the new year, one-on-one, to get her caught up. She'll get a lot more done with individualized attention anyway. It'll be fine. And we decided to do a few different things with her acting. She's going to do her monologue lying on her belly! It should be cute. And memorable. It's good. And her scene was GREAT. She was charming and funny, and she made both Sean and I laugh even though we've both scene seen her do it dozens of times.

Phew. We'll be ready. I know we will. 19 days to go until iPOP! We'll be ready. She'll. She. It's her thing.

So I've spent the rest of the day cataloguing my yarn stash on Ravelry. Why? Because it's cool. All the "in" kids are doing it. Not really. But it's helping me get back in touch with some yarns I haven't met in a while, at the bottom of the barrel, and will keep me better informed about what I've got before I buy more! And I have a bunch of crap that I hate and want to get rid of. <gasp> I might even give it away without asking for any in return. I hate it that much. (Red Heart Super Saver, anyone?) Especially those variegated yarns. SO ugly. JMHO, of course.

That's all. I was hoping to watch The Human Stain with Rob, but he appears to have, well, disappeared on me. Y'all know he's narcoleptic, right? It's really irritating for me. I know the boy can't help it, but at least be near me when you fall asleep! Welp, as long as he's not driving...

Fin.