Smellyann Strikes Again

Day O' Beauty

Welp, I stayed up 'til 0500 attempting to sew three pairs of matchy-matchy shorts. Finally around 0200, I woke Rob up from the couch where he was snoozing, because I was absolutely losing my mind trying to follow the damn pattern. I stitched, unstitched, and restitched countless times, and it Just. Wasn't. Working. I emailed an exasperated message to MIL, who was probably throwing her hands up at my density from afar!  But Rob, my professional seamstress husband, couldn't figure it out either.

We spent over an hour ransacking the internet for something that would help us put together a simple pair of kids' shorts. We knew what to do. We had the pictures. We had the diagrams. We had the pithy instructions. We just didn't have the know-how.

Finally, I decided to make a teeny-tiny doll-sized pattern of the shorts. I freehand drew on some scrap fabric with a pencil and came up with a reasonable facsimile of the actual pattern pieces, minus the pockets. Screw the pockets! I started fiddling around with the pieces when it became absolutely clear: it was physically impossible to make the shorts the way the directions were written.  It just couldn't be done!

So I did to the pieces what it made sense to me to do, after reviewing instructions from MIL, Rob, and way, way back 20 years in home-ec class, and it worked! I made this wee pair of shorts that, incidentally, fit perfectly on my husband's schlong (yes, he tried them on "it," because that's just the way we are and just be glad I spared you the picture):

Of course, no hems.

So within an hour, I had stitched together two identically-sized pairs of shorts for the non-twins and was debating what to do about Chloë's! Of course, we were quite pleased to finally have a resolution after hours of feeling like the dumbest people on Earth. It's not a feeling to which we were accustomed!

By that point, though, I was too tired to take out hundreds of small stitches, so I gave up and joined Rob on the couch for a few hours' sleep.

When I woke up, Jack was sitting next to me, and Chloë and Rob were gone to her audition for a NY agent. It was a no-pressure try-out, since she already has a New York agent. She just needs the practice.

I was just getting into the shower when they returned. Apparently the woman told Chloë she did a good job and was going to be famous! We shall see about that...

I left the house with instructions for Rob to give Jack these clothes and Sophia those clothes and take some pictures outside of them in their non-twin-set. The shirts are enormous; I'd bought a bunch of the smallest size they had at Michael's when they were 6/$10, with no real purpose in mind.

So, yeah, though the waistbands fit, they are still kind of swimming in the shorts. That's okay, they'll have them a few years.

Sophia loved her outfit and wore it all day long, but Jack couldn't wait to peel it off and get back into his beloved blue outfit he'd picked out for the day. He wants what he wants and he wants it now!

What do you think? I know, they are not exactly stylin', but I did the thing, anyway.

So my appointment was at my salon, where I was to get my most expensive 'do ever.  Normally I'm pretty cheap about taking care of my hair, although I would rather pay more for a decent cut, but I've always colored it myself at home. Not this time! I wanted something good for Europe.

Well, I was there almost three hours, and I wish I could tell you all the observations I made while there. I had good blog fodder, but now  I've forgotten it! Other than this: the woman in the chair next to me mentioned that she homeschools her children. But she was using the word "retarded" repeatedly in conversation, either blissfully unaware or not caring that it has become a major faux pas to do so in today's society. Is that really the sort you want educating their own young? Not for me. They are talking about it being illegal to homeschool unless you at least have a college degree, and I can't say that's the worst idea I've ever heard...

But enough about that; I know such an opinion will be controversial amongst my readers!

So after I was tortured pampered for so long, I went up front to pay my bill. I was so stunned by the cost (but of course, I didn't show it) that I forgot to buy the shampoo I needed. All I could think at the time was, Gee, I feel like the President or something...

But I did like the cut and color. See? I decided to go a little lighter, you know, for summer? I think it looks lighter IRL than in the picture. And ignore the silly look on my face; I was being goofy for Rob.

Afterward, I moseyed a few doors down to the ceramics studio, thinking it might be a good place to take the kids this summer, especially on a Monday when the pool is closed. Well, instead of answering my questions, the proprietor just handed me a sheet of paper, saying, "I think this will tell you everything you need to know." Not hardly! How exasperating. Can't you just have a conversation with me?? NO ONE else was in the store, after all. And come to find out, they are closed on Mondays, too. Ugh!

I called Rob to see how he and the chillens were doing, asking permission to go get my nail fixed. That's right, the superglue didn't hold and it fell off again that evening. Very annoying. Permission was granted, so I headed on over to that salon. I walked in and they were packed. Of course, Saturday afternoon! I was embarrassed to find myself flipping those fine ladies off when telling them the problem - it was my middle finger, after all! But they seemed to take no notice and told me to have a seat. It was another hour before I was finished, but I finally walked out, free of charge, good as new.

I was famished by then, since it was after 1600 and I hadn't eaten yet today. I called Rob to see if he wanted a sub or not, and he did, so I went in. The tomatoes were back on the menu, and I asked the guy if they were okay now. Duh, of course he was going to say yes, they put them out. But I'd been in a couple of days ago when signs were up that they weren't going to be serving them, so I figured if they had them, they were all right, right?

Rob was in the middle of eating his sub (his were the tomatoes; I don't eat them) when I got an urgent email about the Moe's shop (Welcome to Moe's!) I'm going to be doing this week, saying there must be no tomatoes behind the counter, yadda yadda. Were they safe after all? Rob did a little research online and finally decided to go ahead and eat them. Cross your fingers he doesn't get sick!

When I got home, after eating, I got back to work at the sewing machine. I finally decided, instead of ripping out all those stitches, to just cut the pieces apart and have the shorts be smaller and, probably, fit better. I had the shorts done in about 20 minutes, just in time for Chloë to wake up from her nap and try them on.

I know, this is a ridiculous, hideous picture. We'd just given her her allowance, so she decided to pose with that, and her stance makes the shorts look all bunchy. But she was thrilled with them and decided to keep them on for the rest of the night. I love that my girls love their handmade clothes so much, regardless of how well they're made.

And yes, I continue to make stupid goofs. I have a hem on the outside of Chloë's freaking shorts!!! By that point, I just didn't care anymore, since it was obvious these were going to be relegated to the 'playclothes' category.

And I immediately started (I want to say 'casting on,' but alas, this isn't knitting and the term doesn't apply) cutting out the pattern for one of the matching dresses I'm going to make the girls (in the blue, if you remember it) - and I totally forgot to cut out the notches on the first piece of fabric! Gahhhh!! What is wrong with me? I swear, sewing turns me into a bumbling idiot.

But I'm still enoying it! I bet Rob can't wait until I go back to my hobbies where I'm not constantly calling upon him for help.

Jack came down, wanting a snack, so he and Chlo were given an ice cream sandwich. We have tons of Schwan's ice cream in the freezer right now, and it's delicious! We've also tried the spinach artichoke appetizers and the cream cheese wontons, and we liked them very much, too. Just giving you a little update on how that's going, for those who were interested!

Edit to add: I got the book My Sister's Keeper in the mail today, a surprise from my MIL after talking about it but my not being able to find it at the library. Yay! I can't wait to read it; seems like I'm the last person I know who has. But I'm resisting the urge to stay up all night reading it. I'm going to save it for the cruise - well, the flights, anyway. Don't spoil it for me!

After dinner (frozen pizza, if you must know), it was story time for the kids. We read... oh, what is it called. That Enchanted Princess movie that came out a while ago, with Patrick Dempsey? But in book form. I so hate the children's books that are written after the movie. They are always so lame, and they skip so much anyway, it doesn't make sense unless you've seen the movie. But that's what they picked, so that's what they read. Ooh, I forgot to mark it on their sheets, thanks for reminding me. Summer Reading Program, we are still with ya!

The kids went to bed, and then Rob and I settled down to watch The Bucket List while I crocheted on Steph's baby dress. It's comin' along, my dear. And it was a good movie. We laughed, and I cried. Rob gave it a five; I guess I agree and can happily recommend it.

In health news, since you didn't ask, I had a lot of that problem with my eye today. I still feel like something is pressing on my left eyeball, and I couldn't help but think "brain tumor brain tumor brain tumor" whenever I had that sensation. I'm not joking around; two of my friends have actually had brain tumors, so the probability of my having one, too, has got to be slim! Like I said, it just better not strike me down during our cruise.

That's about all, folks. Happy Father's Day to all the daddies out there!

Fin.

You Know Things Hurt More In Your Shoe!

It's always crazy around here on half-days. Today and tomorrow are the last two days of school for my kids, and they are "adjusted dismissal" days. Half days. Just go on, you can say it.

I had no idea what time to expect Jack's bus this morning, given that she is so variable on regular days. I was thinking 10:15, so I was lazily checking email this morning at 9:38 when Jack shouted from the kitchen, "MOMMMMM! My bus is here!!!" Wha? Thank goodness it was only a half-day, as I hadn't bothered to put anything in his lunch box yet. I sent him out, for the first time, without his backpack. He was completely bewildered by this. I had to tell him three times that it was all right before he was convinced.

Of course, I should have sent it. He came home with his hands full of papers!

And his AM bus driver walked up to the door to show me she had a picture of Jack, and a picture frame, but his picture was too big for the frame. She wanted me to have it anyway. Which makes me feel rotten that I haven't gotten anything for the teachers and bus drivers. Wait. There is still time to run to Farm Fresh for some gift cards. Should I go?

Nah, I think I'll just have them write letters/make pictures like my friend Jen over at the Daily Mish Mash suggested. We need to save all our pennies for Europe right now, too!

So when Sophia finally woke up, I put her in her favorite new sundress before setting off for Chloë's school. We had to pick up the awesome movie prize pack we won from their Relay For Life raffle. It contained:

The huge popcorn bucket

Four new DVDs

Four boxes of movie theatre popcorn

Two bottles of Green Tea with Citrus (ick)

and substantial gift cards to AMC Theatres and Blockbuster!

Totally worth the $5 I paid for my six raffle tickets, I thought as we lugged our loot back to the sweltering van. I just hoped that chocolate wouldn't melt in the summer heat. I think it came out all right.

Back at home, Sophia insisted we open everything in the "party box," as she called it, right away. She was so excited about it and couldn't wait for Bro and Sis to get home so they could watch a movie and, of course, eat some snacks. "I loooove snacks!" proclaimed Soapy.

By the way, birdies of all shapes and sizes are her favorite animals. Jack's are bunnies and Chloë's are kitties. What you'll do with that information is up to you, but I just thought I'd share now that it's become so clear.

Next things Soap wanted to do was color in her sister's new coloring book. I didn't see the harm, so I sat and watched as she oh-so-carefully scribbled with ten different colors all in the same spot and then declared that page finished. She did that on two more pages before she'd had enough with that activity. She wanted some "juice," and by that, she meant the green tea.

I let her have at it, after I'd had a big swig and decided it was not for me, or, I was sure, her father. Here she was, sitting quietly drinking her tea at the table, so I got back to work sewing Chloë's shorts.

Y'all. I have made a lot of mistakes with these shorts. The inside-out and pocket mishaps of yesterday were just the beginning. I sewed the crotch all wrong, and now it looks like the wearer has been riding a horse for too long. I knew it didn't look right but figured it would just fix itself as I proceeded. The directions said nothing of the right way to do it, which I have since learned from my former home-ec teacher MIL, who is valiantly trying to teach my dumb ass to sew from halfway across the country! Of course, I'm now ten steps ahead of the crotch (that doesn't sound good), so I have a lot of ripping out to do. Sigh. It just doesn't come easy to me, this sewing business.

Jack's bus pulled up a mere two hours after he left, so it was time to stash the sewing for a while. You have to keep your eye on that one. Shortly after that, Chloë arrived, wanting to know what was new.

What's new?! What's new, you ask? I have new things for you today, my dear!

First, I showed her and Jack all the goodies we'd won from her school. She was just mystified that I could have snuck into and out of her school without her spotting me. I'm a sneaky one, my dear.

Then, I showed her the packages that their Aunt Gail had mailed from them, apparently just for some summer fun.

Sophia received the most adorable outfit ever, which she insisted on changing into right away. Cuteness personified!! I want to make that!

It always amuses me when two or more of the kids are opening presents at the same time, but they're so interested in what the other person got, they're not looking at their own goody! Jack's eyes were glued to Chloë's new outfit (which she dubbed "a China shirt," after the also-embroidered she-dubbed "China outfit" that we actually bought her in Morroco, in Epcot!), so much so that he nearly missed the fact that he'd gotten a new pair of Cars swim trunks! This brought much glee on his part.

Next, the kids gathered 'round as Chloë opened their group present, a summer catching toy for outside! I'm saving it for when they go to Stephanie's, so they have something new to play with and retain their interest.

Gail also sent this freaking awesome cookie cookbook, which has tons of mouth-watering recipes for every cookie imaginable. I haven't even used it yet, but I can already tell it's going to be my go-to book for cookies now! Mmm, I'm salivating. You must get this book!!

Thanks for our goodies, Gail! Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em (that's a quote from Chloë's monologue, btw).

Once that fun was over, the kids were clamoring for their promised candy. I let them pick the movie (All Dogs Go To Heaven, which is way more violent than I'd remembered from my own days watching it as a kid) and the candy (JuJubes, I think). They settled in, and I picked up my fuzzy yarn for the scarf that man had ordered for his daughter, and which I'd completely forgotten about yet again. Whoops. I used to be able to knock out the whole scarf in two hours. This time, being rusty and having fakety-fake nails on, I barely got past the keyhole before the movie ended. Oy. I'm not looking forward to finishing it, but I'll go do that tonight after I finish this.

Once the movie was over, the kids were acting ornery and bossy and pushy and not-so-nice. I gave them the choice: naptime, or clean up the living room time. They chose naptime, small wonder. Once they were in their rooms, I lay down "for a quick shut-eye," I told myself. I didn't wake up for hours! Way later than I'd planned, and Stephanie was on her way over to babysit!

I hopped into the shower as Rob was getting home, very late from work. Of course when we've got somewhere to go, he gets stuck in traffic. It's a rule, you know.

Anyway, we went out, had dinner, had some drinks, laughed a whole bunch and generally enjoyed each other's company. I'm so thankful for that. He didn't feel well, though, and barely touched his dinner. And we were stuck in a booth with an immovable table, and I barely had room to breathe. It sucks to be fat!

Back at home, Rob took the kids upstairs to get ready for bed, and Jack turned around and peed in the laundry! He was wide awake, so there was just no excuses for it. What the f  HELL?!! Why would he DO that??  I am just completely baffled by it. Completely baffled.

Oh! I almost forgot. I've had multiple requests for the bread recipe and for the story about why I deserved to be peed on. First, the bread. The recipe is from here, but I will post it below for those of you who are as lazy as I am:

INGREDIENTS

• 1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast
• 1 1/4 cups warm water (110 degrees to 115 degrees F)
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon garlic salt
• 1/2 cup grated Romano cheese
• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• Cornmeal

DIRECTIONS

1. In a large mixing bowl, dissolve yeast in water. Add the sugar, salt, garlic salt, cheese and 2 cups flour. Beat until smooth. Stir in enough remaining flour to form a soft dough.
2. Turn onto a floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 6-8 minutes. Place in a greased bowl, turning once to grease top. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 1 hour.
3. Punch dough down. Turn onto a lightly floured surface; divide in half. Shape each half into a 14-in. loaf. Place on a greased baking sheet that has been sprinkled with cornmeal. Cover and let rise until doubled, about 45 minutes.
4. Brush loaves with water. Make three diagonal slashes about 1/2 in. deep with a very sharp knife in each loaf.
5. Fill a 13-in. x 9-in. x 2-in. baking pan with 1 in. of hot water and place on the bottom oven rack. Preheat to 400 degrees F. Bake loaves for 20-25 minutes. Remove to wire racks.

And now, your story.

Rob hates to be poked in the sides. Haaates it. It makes him jump and squeal like a little girl. For that reason, I do it all the time. ALLLL the time. He asks me constantly to stop. I have tried. I just can't help myself. So one time, he was in the bathroom taking a leak, and I came up to him with my finger a-twitchin'. He knew that look, so he warned me, "If you poke me, I'm going to pee on you!" I laughed and poked him anyway. With that, he turned and peed up and down the whole front of me, clothes on and everything.

And that's the rest of the story.

Fin.

Daggone It!

I already own - and have read - the new Jodi Picoult book I just bought tonight! Hello, stupid, ever hear of reading the back cover?!!!

On the upside, I found out tonight I won another Bloggy Giveaway: three bags of iris bulbs. I believe that makes twelve. Piggish!

Fin.

Oodles Of Noodles

This morning, I woke up at 0430 and could not get back to sleep until Soapy and I took a short nap together at about 1330. I spent the first hour or two watching the early morning news and weather. I ate some oatmeal. I read the paper. And then I started knitting.

First, I made up this pair of Saartje's booties, to match the red cardigan I finished last night. I hope you think they're as cute as I do.

After I finished those, of course I needed to make a hat. I'd already gotten Chloë and Jack on their respective buses, and Sophia and I were watching The View or something, so I just kept right on knitting. My gauge was a little off, though, because this hat:

which is not nearly as pink as it looks here, nearly fits the moi, like so:

So I'm debating whether to make another one or just... not. I probably should. I have enough yarn. And this hat looks pretty cute on Sophia. Yeah, I guess I will while I'm watching Lars and the Real Girl tonight. It's supposed to be good. Of course it's good - it's Ryan Gosling! Love!

When Chlo came home from school, I finally got off my duff to take a quick shower, and then the Littles and I took her to Brownies. They were making Mother's Day things, though, so I was shooed out of the room. Instead, we sat outside on the hill, in the grass (where I proceeded to break out in major chicken pox-like spots - aha! another new allergy!) and let the non-twins take off their shoes and run around gleefully. Rob met us there after work, and he helped the Brownies play a game of weird tag after they finished their indoor craftiness.

The weather was beautiful, everyone was enjoying being together outside, and we were all in a good mood. But it was dinnertime. So we decided to head over to Panera to sup outside on the patio.  I was annoyed at myself for forgetting the second MyPoints gift card to Panera and my 50% off coupon to Michael's next door. Oh, well. It's not like we won't be back.

We got four dinners (the three kids can barely eat two meals among them), cookies, and bagels, and spent the most we've ever spent at Panera. Whoo-ee! But it's all good stuff. Have you ever had their Cinnamon Crunch bagels? Yum. I'm going to eat one for dessert later. It was a bit windier there than at Brownies, and poor Sophia was wearing the brand-new strappy dress that came in today's mail from the Children's Place. She was shivering like crazy, and soon we all joined her.

Oh, all right, here's the dress, since you asked:

It looks pretty freakin' cute on her. I've decided I'm going to start sewing - or some bastardization thereof - soon, and since Sophia is so enormously fond of dresses, that's what I shall start with. {Is that hard, Mom? Am I being foolish to start there? Simple ones, of course.}

Anyway, so we ate our dinner and shared a couple cookies, and then Chloë reminded us it was Book Fair night at her school. Oh, all right... we are flooded with books right now, and they are piled up on top (and falling off) of every available surface, so we promised her she could buy one little book. She had her heart set on a Baby Animals Sticker Book.

I dropped Rob and the cranky blondies at home, grabbed my purse, and took Chlo to school. We were greeted by a chorus of "Hi Chloë"s everywhere we turned, by students and staff alike. And then I was met by my friend Christine, who wanted to know why I haven't been at the PTA meetings lately. I just briefly explained about my recent health issues and assured her I was fine now, but she seemed really taken aback to hear. Goodness, that's why I didn't plan on sharing it when many 'outsiders,' because it was hardly a life-and-death situation, you know?  So I feel a little embarrassed to talk about it like that.

Well, we found the sticker book, for $3.99. I thought, hmm, that's not very much of a 'reading' book, and I very much have a reading child, so maybe one more book? We quickly found a Junie B. Jones book she doesn't have - hardcover, so pricier. And then we found a Tadpole book in the same style as the Monkeys and Ladybugs book we own:

for the itty-bitties. And then I found a Jodi Picoult book to read, and then we found a cookbook for Daddy. In the end, it came to almost $60, and I was glad they accepted plastic!

On the way to the bank afterward, to deposit the check Sophia finally received for the Dollar Tree ad (check it out, May 18th!) and to take out some cash for this Saturday's trip to the Maryland Sheep & Wool Festival, I was horrified to hear from my darling daughter that Jack has been ripping up her Junie B. books and throwing them away at night. !!!!! The horror is fourfold:

1. Why wouldn't she tell me this has been going on? She knows that destruction of property is a tellable offense!
2. How could he be treating books like this?!
3. Hello, books are recyclable! Don't throw them away, at least!
4. I can't remember the fourth thing now. But man I am sick of my children's propensity to ruin everything. Everything. Gosh!

I immediately called up their father to tell him that all books were being cleaned up and locked away in their closet tonight, and that if we were the type of parents to actually tan hides, that hide tanning would be happening over that. But we don't, so we're not. Yelling is possible.

After the bank, and nearly getting broadsided by a 90-year-old lady on a cell phone (hello, that's just... no), we finally headed home. Chlo started her homework, and I started this post, and now I am finishing it. The Office  is on, so I'm gonna hit the road!

Fin.

Ugh. Just Ugh.

My stomach is on the fritz, most certainly because of the iron pills. I feel, literally, like shit.

Anyhoo...

I got in trouble with Jack's afternoon bus driver today because I didn't open the door when he arrived at home. Why not? Because I was snuggling with my baby on the couch, and I fell asleep and didn't wake up until two minutes after he was due home. So, they left. I called the school and then found the note stuck on the doorknob saying that they had been there and would be returning him to school. WTH? Why not ring the doorbell?!! I would have woken up in an instant.

Eventually, while I was calling around trying to find an answer to this question - and my son - the bus pulled back up and he hopped off. I went outside to apologize and tell them what happened, and to question them about ringing the doorbell. The driver and the helper answered in unison, "We're not allowed to." Huh? You're allowed to sneak up, surreptitiously put a note on my door, and sneak away, but you can't ring the bell? Now, I understand most busses and bus drivers don't work this way, but this is the special needs bus that comes right to the door, with maybe three other kids on it. I still don't get it. It's a stupid rule. I was home, the van was there and they knew it, the door was unlocked, and he could have come right in, and they could have rung the bell... gah! Whatever. Stupid rules annoy the hell out of me.

The mailman brought me a surprise today while the kids were at school. My friend Stephanie from Canada made this lovely little layette for CARE Package (I know the angle is weird, but changing it makes it weirder, and I already have it packaged up). She does such nice crochet work, and I am always beside-myself with gratitude whenever anyone sends anything for CP. Especially a full, matching set!

She also sent me Crazy Aunt Purl's book, which she's read and which I've been dying to, and she passed along her copy to me! I can't wait to read it. I haven't read anything without pictures in a long time. Wait - I have to check - okay, whoops, there are pictures, but they're all of her knitting projects, and they're all bundled together at the back of the book. I'm pretty sure the whole book doesn't have one-syllable word rhymes, though.

And here's Sophie, trying to get at the candies Stephanie sent me. I only had a few and shared the rest of the roll with her because, well, for one thing I shouldn't be eating them, and for another, she said, "I very very please want them, Mommy," and who can resist that?! She is in a "very very" mood lately, telling me all the time "I very very love you" and "it's very very beautiful" and the like. I'm enamored of this habit.

Anyway, thank you for all my surprises, Stephanie! I never know what to send you from the U.S. that you can't get there (besides Hannah Montana movies and Target)!

There were more presents from Aunt Gail today, too. Oh, here is the book she sent me, since we're sharing pictures and all:

Isn't that great?! I was at the grocery today trying to decide what fish to buy so I could make something from the book, when I realized I should probably pick the recipe first and then get the fish. So we'll try that next time. Good plan?

First it was Sophia's turn to open her gift. She's wearing Chloë's ballet leotard and refused to take it off. Oh, well, that's what Big Sis gets for not putting it back in her dance bag!

This is at the point of highest anticipation. What is it? What's in the box? And couldn't you just eat her up? Look at those legs! Yum. I could munch on this baby all day long.

It's a koala, from Aunt Gail's recent trip to Australia! Okay, she didn't really go, but this guy is cute! I think Sophia called it a puppy when she first opened it, which was funny. Or a dog. Same diff. (Brian Fellowes: "That dog is weird. He's looking at me.") She wubs her new koala and is giving him a peck here. And yeah, her top teeth stick out. Braces are definitely in our future, but I don't care; I think she's adorable like that. Those cheeks! Those legs! that neck. Oh. I cannot tell you how crazy I drive this child, pecking at her incessantly throughout the day. My baby. Ahh, sigh. Koala koala.

Next, it was Chloë's turn. How cute are kids in overalls, anyway? And my favorite thing about this one is her thin little wrists. They are so fragile, so delicate. Just like her.

So many goodies in this box.  A Hello Kitty bag, which is NOT to be used as a lunch box thankyouverymuch, a cute little box with half dollars in it (thanks for providing us with a money learning lesson, Aunt Gail! We never have these!) and a fairy ornament. At least, I think it's an ornament. Here, what do you think:

Ornament? I thought so. She's very pretty.

And finally, it was Jack's turn. My favorite thing about this child is his spunkiness. He is about as big as your pinky, but he don't take no crap from NObody! He wants what he wants and he lets everybody know it. He does what he pleases and he gets downright angry when you tell him otherwise. And do not ever ever ever try to take one of his cars. Don't even look at it. No, not even that sidelong glance, unless you want all the fury that 22 pounds can pack. Well, maybe it's more now. We haven't weighed him in a while. I shall report back tomorrow on that matter.

Okay, I have to report this, because even though it shows his ungratefulness, it's funny. And almost anything's okay as long as it's funny, in my book. He opened the box and cawed, "What is it?" We picked it up, turned it over and said, "It's a dinosaur, Jackie!" He shoved it away with disgust and said, "I don't want dinosaur. I want cars!" Oh, boy. So Jack. Here he is being forced to make nicey-nice with the dinosaur for Mommy's picture show. It really is a nice dinosaur. I just finished taking a nap with it. He'll come around. If anyone dares play with it tomorrow, he'll be all over it like white on rice, you'll see.

But wait! There's more! Two boxes for Jack!

Jammies!! Covered in cars! and busses and planes and trains and... cars!!  This isn't the best shot, but he was ecstatic about the jammies. He loved them. He insisted in putting them on for bed tonight.

Thanks, Auntie Blow-Up Doll! We loved our fun gifts!

********

So after present time, I had to take the neighbor lady to the commissary. I've mentioned her before to some of you - the one from Japan with the three small kids? Two doors down. Very nice. Very Japanese, humble and gracious and not very talkative. Her kids are 2, 4 and 6, just like mine. I don't want to call her shy, but we and our kids could have become better friends. They like to run over here and play, and mine over there, when it's warm out, but we're not all best buddies or anything like that. She misses Japan and her family and friends and her language and her culture. I had to draw her out on the way to and from the commissary, so I quizzed her about all these things. I think she is hesitant about making a mistake in English, too, so she withdraws. I know the feeling; I'm very shy about using my Spanish in front of native speakers as well. Especially when my friend Gil used to laugh and call the way I spoke "cute." Not necessarily wrong, my grammar, but not right. I'd rather be corrected. But I digress.

What is it about this? Every time I take a military wife and her multiple kids to the commissary, I witness something I'd rather not see. In this case, Satchi hit her kids once in the store and twice in my van on the way back. Not like, hard and made them cry, but a whack just the same. Am I the only enlisted wife in the military who doesn't take shots at her children? I swear! And I don't know what she was chittering at them in Japanese - I rather enjoyed that part of it - but she also didn't properly buckle them in the carseats. Granted, her kids are a far sight bigger than my little pixies, but I adjusted the buckles as much as I could and fit the kid to the seat, and they could have been buckled in right. That's another thing she had in common with psycho bus stop lady Jillian (remember her, guys and girls?) - buckle your kids in the right way! At least make more than a half-hearted attempt. I mean, when we had to ride in the NYC cabs with no carseats and in one case, no buckles, I was freaked the eff out; it was definitely not the norm.

Rant over.

Then I kept harrassing this one poor man in the commissary. They do not know how to block and face their shelves there, I swear. Not if I were in charge, man... (Block: pull items to the front instead of having them pushed all the way back, out of reach. Face: turn labels facing out, to be readable.) Every other item I wanted was on the top shelf, pushed far back, and I almost missed it because it was facing backward. The same guy kept being in the aisle at the same time as me, and I'd look up at him and grin, and he'd say, obligingly, "What do you need now?" He wasn't even that much taller than me, but he was a whole lot lighter and more willing to climb up the shelves! I didn't see him for a while near the end, but I ended up behind him in the checkout line (and not on purpose, either, since they "assign" you a cashier when you get up there) and just smiled slyly. I told him he was going to have nightmares about me following him tonight!

I saved $40.37 in coupons. Just sayin'. More people should use 'em.

I guess that's it. I'm really tired. Chlo has acting class and an audition tomorrow, and I guess that means it's up to me to take her. Daddy knows nothing of the audition process.

Fin.

A Bit of Good News

This is still in the very early stages, but there is a chance our story might get published in the upcoming book, Chicken Soup for the Twin Soul!  I'm very excited even for the opportunity, even if it doesn't pan out. Here is what I wrote for it:

My twin pregnancy was a very chaotic one. We had just moved to

Guam

when we found out, and there was a chance they could develop Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome. After Supertyphoon Pongsona hit the island – the worst on record – I was deemed ineligible to live there in those conditions. We were soon shipped back to the States. A month later, at 30 weeks gestation, I went into pre-term labor. I was hooked up ‘round-the-clock to monitors, but my identical boys looked healthy. They received steroids, I was given magnesium for the pre-eclampsia I’d developed, and the three of us holed down in the hospital to try and make it at least another month.

After a few days, I was taken off the monitors so I could get some sleep. Something went wrong, though, and I was having tremendous pains on the left side where Robby was. Jack was up in my ribs on the right. I kept begging for days for an ultrasound to see what was the matter, but I was put off and put off. Finally, my water broke, and the pain immediately went away. I was taken in for an emergency c-section, and the boys were delivered – silently. I was alone, as my husband was with our older daughter, and no one would tell me anything. It turned out they had developed TTTS after all, in a rare form that progresses rapidly during labor and delivery itself. Robby was twice Jack’s size, which to me, explains the pain I was in while he was swelling rapidly.

In the NICU, Jack was determined to be healthy but tiny; he just had to feed and grow. Robby was gravely ill, and the doctors worked tirelessly to save his little life, introducing new and experimental treatments for three days. Nothing worked, and we had to say good-bye. It was devastating. We loved him so much and never had the chance to be his mommy and daddy. After searching for a way to help ourselves and others, we launched a project in his name a year later. CARE Package, Inc. is a nonprofit organization that makes layettes for other babies who don’t survive. We also give information to the parents for bonding during that last good-bye in each layette. It’s not an entirely altruistic endeavor, because I get so much joy myself when I knit and crochet for these angel babies and imbue the love I have for Robby into each item.

It has almost been five years since our loss, and the healing process is ongoing. Jack is in preschool now and is very healthy other than still being extremely tiny and needing nightly growth hormone shots. We have added another daughter, and she and Jack are both blond and the same size, so people always ask us if they are twins despite their 25-month age difference. There’s a painful twinge every time that happens, and sometimes I am tempted to lie and say, Yes, they are, just so people would know that I really am a mother of twins.

I'll let you know when I know!

Fin.

FIVE MORE DAYS!!!

It's almost Christmas. I'm very excited. Lots to do in the coming days.  Fun stuff.

But let's begin with yesterday. I sent the kids back to school and, surprisingly, nobody came home sick. Jade and Sophie and I just hung out, did some laundry, and awaited their return. After school, we got ready to go and took Chloë to her ballet class.

I have been to two LYS (Local Yarn Stores) here, both down the road from us (in opposing directions). But there is a much bigger one I'd heard about, and I decided to look it up. It's on N Lynnhaven Road. N Lynnhaven Rd? What? Wait a minute, isn't that...? Well, hold on here... Why, yes, yes it is the same N Lynnhaven Road that Chlo's dance academy is on. The same dance academy where she's been going for four years now. Serendipity! (And stupidity. Me.)

So we dropped the ol' gal off, and tottled down the road to Ewe Knits for a look-see. Oh, my heavens. Now, the other two stores are okay. They have some very nice stuff. But here, there was wall-to-wall lusciousness in a much greater square footage.  It was just too bad I only had 45 or so minutes to pet the yarns, choose some, and get back. Actually, that's probably a good thing or I might've had to break out the off-limits credit card!  If the words Koigo, Malabrigo, Cascade 220 and Noro mean anything to you, you know what I'm sayin'. (And y'all could consider that my future gift wish list if the need ever arises. Ahem.)

First I visited the cashmere. Rob has been after me to knit him a cashmere sweater since I learned to knit. It's $48 a ball. (And we estimated today I'd need about 16 balls. So. Yeah. Not happening anytime soon.) Then I visited the wools, and then the laceweights and sock yarns. None of that foofoo novelty stuff. I meant business.

First, I chose this gorgeous fingering weight from Artyarns, which is exactly like Koigu (KPPPM) except that it's not. It feels amazing.

   Then I picked this worsted weight wool, Karaoke, with which I thought I was going to make another Booga bag - for me, this time. It's self-striping and would be so much easier than switching yarns alla time. (I know not everyone cares about this stuff, but notice the knitting icon thingy on the page!) I thought I should get some new pattern books to go with my new yarn, too, so I got a Debbie Bliss one for baby knits, and Simple Knits for Cherished Babies, since I have the crochet version. And I got a free ball of silly froofroo yarn for spending, well, a bunch!

Chloë was finished, we went home, had dinner, did the homework thing, bed, then Jade was picked up and finally, finally, I was alone with my yarn. Oh, I forgot to say. They were such nice, nice people in that store, and they were so welcoming. We talked about Ravelry, and it turns out some of them "knew" me because the local group on there is searching for a charity to make things for, and someone nominated CARE Package! And someone came into the store needing a knitted item fixed, and they fixed it, so I asked if they could fix the lacy sweater I've been working on (remember?) for Lisa's baby. I put a slight booboo in it the other day and didn't know how to fix it, so there it sat. They invited me to come in anytime and just sit and knit. It felt like home! *sniff*

So, like I said, it was just me and the yarn, and I couldn't work on my Lisa sweater. What to do, what to do... aha! I thought I'd play with that Karoake yarn that I was going to make into a felted (fulled) Booga bag but then decided not to just yet because I already have two undesignated ones at home (holler if you want one for the deeeeeeply discounted price of $15; proceeds go to CARE Package).  I decided to do something unheard of: make a baby sweater with it - and then felt it! Wha? I couldn't find any such patterns online, free or otherwise. So I opened the new Debbie Bliss book, picked a sweater, and started knitting. Obviously I wanted a very plain, basic one whose stitches I wouldn't mind losing in the fulling process.

This is the back of the sweater, which I worked on between last night and this afternoon. Pretty, right? And so soft. I can't wait to see how it felts!

Today, I didn't have Jade (woot!) and Barbara was coming to clean (woot! woot!), so Sophia and I needed to get out of the house. So we went back to the yarn shoppe to have my Lisa sweater repaired and then do some knitting with the nice ladies.

It turned out to be a very simple fix that I'm now very glad I know how to do, because surely it'll come up again. I sat for a while, with Soapy in the umbrelly stroller, knitting on the above stripey sweater and chatting. I'm really so pleased I went. They didn't make me feel like an outsider at all. I just jumped right in. One of them is even ordering a book for me that they all love, full of patterns for knitted stuffed animals that are freaking adorable (a platypus!).

Back home, everyone was in need of a nap (even me, but I didn't), so I was again alone with my yarn. I finished knitting the back of the stripey sweater and then picked up Lisa's. I stopped to go out for a dinner mystery shop at the Silver Diner (yes, that of the Josie debacle, if anyone from FTC remembers...) with the family and then dove right back in. And I finished just a short while ago!

The picture doesn't do it justice. It looks faboo, if I may say so myself! And it feels wonderful. So soft and sproingy and soft! I hope they love it. And not a moment too soon, either, because Lisa called me tonight with news that baby Emilie Joy was just born!

I know that's a crappy picture, but at least you can see the buttons I chose better there. WDYT, they're okay? Yes? No?

So that's it! Now I'm going to go back and make up a sleeve or two on the felty sweater.

Fin.