Smellyann Strikes Again

Sunday Stealing: The OC 25 Meme

Link up here if you're playing along today! Happy Easter/Passover to all who celebrate!

Sunday Stealing: The OC 25 Meme

1. What is your origin of your first name? What about any nicknames?

My mom just randomly came up with it. I was supposed to be "Eleanor" after my dad's mom, or "Clayton" if I was a boy, but when my dad wasn't in the room, my mom quickly put down "Melanie" instead. Hee! I've come to appreciate that, although my elementary school BFF was Eleanor, so of course I had wanted that to be my name then. My middle name is Ann, so my dad always called me "Mellie Ann," which my wonderful older sister changed to "Smellyann" at some point. And there you have it.

2. Have you any claims to fame?

Apparently, I'm meant to be a writer. In college, I came in second (or third?) in a huge poetry contest - you've probably seen the ads for it - and my published poem was analyzed in the front of the anthology in which it appeared. I was supposed to have my boys' and my story published in the Chicken Soup for the Twins Soul book, but apparently they decided it was too sad and took it out later on, which is fine with me. And more recently, my "Works for Me Wednesday" pets edition blahg post was published in a book called That Works For Me! or something like that; I had to give the proper permissions and all that. I've always been a pretty decent writer and thought I've had more poetry and maybe a novel rattling around in there, but I haven't been able to get started. We'll see if that ever comes to fruition.

3. If you were famous, how would you introduce yourself to someone who had never heard of you?

The same way I do now, I suppose: I'd have the head of my huge entourage do it. Heh.

4. Which of your country's achievements do you hold in highest regard?

Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation couldn't have come soon enough; I think it just edges out winning the American Revolution. JMHO

5. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

First, I wanted to be a teacher and librarian. As I grew up, though, I wanted to be a marine biologist. And until I got married, I was one. For a brief time, I was livin' the dream I grew up having. Now, I'm happier things worked out this way. I wouldn't change a thing, except for maybe a fatter wallet..

6. What was your most prized possession as a child? Do you still have it?

It was my red-and-white stuffed puppy dog named Snowflake, who eventually was missing an ear. The other ear had holly leaves and berries on it. I loved that puppy. I don't know what happened to her.

7. What would you change about yourself, if you could?

Pfft. What wouldn't I? That would be a shorter list. I would take away the Bi-Polar Disorder from which I suffer (as do those around me, I'm afraid), and I would give myself more strength of character. People who know the sorts of things I've been through always tell me what a strong person I am, but I don't feel that way. I feel like a weak, meek little mouse. My therapist tells me I am progressing though - she told me recently that I was "individuating," since I am no longer seeking my father's approval. I laughed and said it was high-time at 35, but she says she sees people much older than I am who haven't gotten that far and wow! I am babbling! Anyway, physically, I'd get my plastics to remove the skin I have hanging around (literally) after my 200+-lb weight loss.

8. What are you obsessed with?

Yarn. Picking at myself. My husband's nuts. Jafra. Couponing. And more yarn.

9. What is your greatest achievement so far, or the high point of your career?

Oh, I've received my fair share of academic accolades, but my proudest achievement was winning "Class Giggler" in 3rd grade. I still have the certificate!

10. When/where were you happiest?

January 2, 2001: The day we eloped was the most blissful day in my life. I'll never, ever forget that high.

11. And the lowest point in your life thus far?

March 25, 2003: The day I held my older twin son as he shuddered taking his last breath. Nothing is worse than outliving your child.

12. What was the best decision you ever made?

Marrying Rob! He is so good for, and to, me. We both have our share of shortcomings, but I definitely ended up with the better end of the deal. God knew what he was doing when he brought me this man.

13. If you have any body modifications, which was most painful, or which do you regret the most? If you haven't got any, do you have any planned, or would you ever consider getting any?

Other than four piercings in each ear, I have a nose ring. So that was the most painful. I haven't fully decided on getting a tattoo, but if I do, it'll be a joint one with Rob, honoring our four children together.

14. What is the most idiotic thing you have ever done while intoxicated?

We don't have to go there, do we? Let's not. Maybe the next time I get that intoxicated, which will be never, I'll share that story with y'all. ;) Let's just say I'll probably never drink Goldschläger again!

15. What is your favorite joke?

I am so terrible at remembering things like jokes and movie quotes. Asking me to tell a joke is putting me on the spot. I like stupid jokes anyway, like this one:

Knock Knock?

Who's there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

I didn't know you could yodel!

16. What is the coolest/most impressive thing you own?

You mean aside from my iPhone? (You know I love that dang thing.) Okay, let me think on it a minute... probably the Britto. We bought a limited edition giclée of his called Deep Night Romance on our Mediterranean cruise, and it sums up our love for each other beautifully.

17. When did you last cry, and why?

I cried a little bit last night, thinking about this coming Monday. It'll be the 28th anniversary of my mom's death, and I always get a little weepy.

18. What's the best piece of advice you've ever had?

Surprisingly, it came from my dad. I'll paraphrase: "Don't let anyone rob you of your joy."

19. Similarly, what's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for you?

A semi-anonymous benefactor helped me pay for my college degree, the day I was going to get kicked out for non-payment of my classes. Biggest relief of my life!

20. Have you any vices?

I'm too self-indulgent.

21. Do you regret anything?

No regrets. I live for today, and tomorrow. There are things I wish I'd done differently, but I didn't, and I have learned and grown from them.

22. What is the best invention ever?

Hello?! The iPhone! lol

23. How would you describe your relationship with your family?

I have a very small living family. My mom is gone, my dad and I aren't speaking at the moment, and my sister and I are as close as we can possibly be from a distance. I love that broad! ♥

24. Who is your biggest inspiration?

Anyone with deep emotional fortitude, who can come through a tragedy and not completely fall to pieces. Well, falling to pieces isn't the thing, but someone who can pick up those pieces and make life work again - that's inspiring to me.

25. What are you going to do when you've finished Sunday Stealing?

Work on my April/May Jafra newsletter, a week later than I'd planned. Oops.

Happy Easter!

Fin.

Saturday 9: Forget You

First, let me just say that I have this whole album, and I have listened to it a bajillion times. Cee Lo's voice is like buttah, and the songs are swell, too. Totally worth every penny.  Anyhoo, link up here if you're playing along today!

Saturday 9: Forget You

1. Have you ever felt that you needed to just forget an ex-lover?

Of course. The guy before Hubs. He's probably the ONE bf I regret completely. What a waste of two years of my life! UGH. To think I almost married that... piece of crap.

2. Spring picnics and cookouts are here! What would you want to have on your plate as you head back to the table?

Chicken, but not BBQ. I hate BBQ and also blackened meat. (Sorry, Missouri-bred husband o' mine.) Something tender and juicy. I like corn, but I always cut it off the cob, because I can't stand stuff getting stuck in my teeth. I've been doing that since my braces days, way back when. And... deviled eggs. With paprika, natch.

3. It's St. Patrick's Day, March 17th! Do you celebrate? Drink Green Beer? Go out?

Normally, no. Never, ever. For one thing, I'm not Irish; for another, I have not-so-pleasant memories of TBFH (ex-stepmother) putting the four of us girls in matching green shirts and white pants, with green carnations pinned to our shirts, and having to go to school like that. And yes, of course I thought about changing or at least ripping off the flower when I got to the bus, but my step-sisters would've thrown me under the bus. Possibly literally.

However, we are having a St. Pat's Day-themed birthday party for my son today, as he's turning 9 on the 22nd and my very-Irish friends are hosting it at their house for us. However, we're having Italian food and Corona instead of Guiness, so, you know. It's all good.

4. Did you remember to wear green today?

I'll probably wear my U. Miami outfit, and there's green in that. I'll try to find green stuffs for the kiddos to wear. If it doesn't happen, my heart won't break or anything.

5. What phrase or saying do you over use?

"Totally." "Awesome." "Totally awesome." Okay, not really on that last one. Right now I'm digging on "totes" for "totally," though you can only say it once or twice before people start reminding you how old you actually are...

6. If you could (or could have) change(d) something about your relationship with your parents, what would it be?

Oh, God. I'd change everything about my relationship with my dad growing up. I was the "yes, Daddy, okay, Daddy, anything you say, Daddy" kid growing up, and it's still VERY hard and painful for me to stand up to him. But more and more, little by little, I'm doing it, and I'm extremely proud of that. I have lots of Daddy issues. We really don't need to get into all that, but suffice it to say I had everything I could have possibly wanted or needed growing up - except love, comfort, and safety. I've been looking for it in all the wrong places ever since.  And of course, I'd change my mom dying when I was 7 to still being alive and well today. Otherwise, I've put my mom up on this Pedestal of Perfection, and I don't like to hear about what faults she may have had. She was totes awesome.

7. If the NCAA Men's or Women's Final Four basketball tournament was played in your hometown arena or within easy driving distance from where you live, would you try to attend one of the games?

Not unless UM was playing, and then hell yeah!

8. No matter what's going on in your life, what always makes you smile?

The silly-smart things my kids say. I love hearing the incredible thoughts that rattle around in their young brains. So intelligent, but so screwy sometimes!

9. We've asked this before: What else is on your mind? Go ahead and rant.

Right this VERY second, it's the fact that I just singed my right hand pulling Jack (son's) cupcakes out of the oven, and my hand is on FIRE. I do that every freakin' time. I iron myself every time, too. I'm, like, one big scar and stuff.

Well, y'all have a great weekend. Don't drink and drive, m'kay?

Toodles.

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The Not My Year Meme

Link up here if it's not your year, either!

Sunday Stealing: The Not My Year Meme

1. Are you in a job that you truly enjoy?

I'm a stay-home homeschooling mom of three. I damn well better be, huh?

2. If you could do any job in the world what would it be?

I'd be a family court judge. And I hope to be, one day...

3. If you could be a character in a novel who would you be?

I'd be Tom Sawyer. What an imp! I like mischief as much as the next kid, you know?

4. When it comes to spending time with those you love, do you think it should be about quality or quantity?

Both count, but definitely quality over quantity. If you're not really present with each other, what's the point?

5. Is there a job/career you wanted but realized you couldn’t possibly do for one reason or another?

Pre-marriage and babies, I was a marine biologist. I was working with the pre-eminent scientist in our field (elasmobranch feeding ecomorphology, or in layman's terms, shark/skate/ray feeding behavioral ecology). A year and a half into my Ph.D., I realized I didn't have the passion to pursue that and be at sea half the year and then, when I was home, spend all my time stressing over grants and funding for research, etc. I wanted to be a wife and mom, and I didn't want to give up those desires, no matter how much I loved being a Biologist. And I did. And I still do... but. I love this so much more.

6. If you could live anywhere in the world or out of this world where would you live?

Oh, I'm so glad you added that last part. I'd love to live on Jupiter, assuming it were hospitable to humans. It's my favorite of our planets. (What, doesn't everyone have a favorite planet?)

7. Where would you most like to visit and with whom?

Everywhere I've never been, with Hubs and the trio of offspring we're raising.

8. Which skill would you like to learn?

Oh, gosh. I want to learn to spin my own yarn. And dye it. I want to learn to relax and meditate. I want to learn to practice self-patience and -forgiveness. I'd like to be fluent in every language, but at least five. It would be fun to be able to juggle while riding a unicycle... okay, now I'm getting carried away.

9. What made you laugh today?

A high school friend's Facebook status update: "Miracle Whip is actually tweeting on Twitter. What has the world come to when condiments are reminding us to set our clocks ahead?"

10. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?

Cleaning, organizing, and doing.

11. What is your sign and do you believe in horoscopes etc?

I'm a Virgo, and to the extent that it's fun. I fit the typical Virgo profile to a "T," but I don't go all nutso about it.

12. If you could change one thing about your life thus far, what would it be?

Many things... like, if I had known then what I know now, I would have seriously reconsidered going to the University of Miami, where top students like me struggled financially and football players were treated like gods, and perhaps gone to one of the several schools offering me a full, free ride instead.

13. If there was one charity you could give a huge contribution to, which charity would it be and why?

Heifer International. I think it's an awesome program.

14. Should smoking be legal?

No fecking way. Ugh. Don't even get me started.

15. What are your views on the smoking ban in public places?

Fully supportive - what'd I just say?!

16. Why do you blog?

To answer questions for your total entertainment, edification, and... okay, for my own amusement, too. And other things, but I've already answered this question eleventeen times before now.

17. Do you have a favorite author?

I'm not sure, but Jodi Picoult would definitely be near the top of the list, along with Elizabeth Zimmermann.

18. Can you play any musical instruments?

After my mom died, I learnt to play the organ/piano, which she also played. And my vocal chords. But I've always had a terrible ability to sight read music, so I didn't go very far with the keyboard. I did sing all through high school, and I was going to sing in college, too, but I got mono right before my audition, and then I got stage fright. I hate auditioning. Just give me the part I want and we'll go from there. Hee. 

19. What would your ideal car be?

I would love to zip around in a cute little Mazda Miata convertible, or a Smart for Two convertible. Red, of course. Red cars go faster.

20. Describe yourself in one short sentence.

I am so weird.

21. What do you look for in a spouse/other half?

A penis, for starters. That's a must. He's gotta make me laugh and make me think, even better if he can do them both at once. Everything else ... let's just say I got so lucky with Rob. He definitely got the short end of the marital stick! ;)

22. Worst meal you’ve had?

Chicken a la king, when I was, like, five. I'd probably love it now, though I'm too scared to attempt another go.

23. What do you do to relax in the evening?

Rob.

24. Do you get along with your siblings?

I have one full sister 17 months older, and yes, we are very close. Always have been. I have a much-older half-sister whom I've never met, and two former step-sisters with whom I no longer have a relationship.

25. Do you have any regrets?

Everytime I start painting my nails, I instantly regret not going pee first.

Have a great week, y'all!

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The Censored Meme

Link up here if you played along today!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Where are you from and where do you live now?

I'm from New York and I'm now in Virginia, by way of South Carolina, Florida, and then Guam.

 

2. Favorite childhood story/book/film?

 

E.T. I remember going when I was a kid, when it was first out.

 

3. If you could change gender for a day what would you do?

Pee standing up. Play with my weiner - a LOT. And go into men's rooms and dressing rooms and stare. Hey, I like looking at men naked. I'm a hot-blooded straight woman, after all.

 

4. Do you feel your family is complete or would you like more/some children?

Well, neither of us is physically capable of having more children, but one day if we had the space for it, I'd consider fostering-to-adopt. I'd love a roomful of babies, but... I don't think it's in the cards.

 

5. What do you do/Where do you work and do you enjoy it?

I homeschool my three children, and I love it, but it's definitely a challenge!

 

6. Which three words do you think sum you up?

Smart. Funny. Nutty.

 

7. If you were a fairy what magical powers would you possess?

I'd definitely be able to fly, I'd do the whole bibbity-bobbity-boo-here are your three wishes thing, and I'd be smokin' hot. Think Tinkerbell, not the three plump fairies who raised The Sleeping Beauty. Oh, that's not a power? I don't care.

 

8. If you were invisible, where would you go and what would you do? Why?

Men's dressing rooms, just like in #3. Hot-blooded straight woman, just like I said. Quit making me say it.

 

9. What song can’t you listen to without crying?

"The Day You Gave Me a Son" by Babyface, and more recently, "Someone Like You" by Adele.

 

10. Which book changed your life – or at least made you think a lot?

Well, a lot of books make me think, but Evergreen by Belva Plain has always been my favorite. I really can't explain why. It was just powerful to me when I first read it as a teenager.

 

11. Why do you blog?

Sometimes, because I have something to say. Sometimes, because I don't, but I have things I need to get out, and starting a post helps open that door. And sometimes, I just want to share what's going on with us, which is the main reason I started this thing.

 

12. What is your top ‘me-time’ tip?

Earbuds. Headphones. Whatever you use. Tune out somehow and go into your own world.

 

13. What can’t you live without?

Aside from my family? My iPhone, and the Interwebs. I love them!

 

14. Which of all your blog posts are you most proud of and why?

The one where I wrote an open letter to my grandfather, and the one about my father-figure, my former boss, which I recently wrote. It touched me to write those, and I could tell they touched some of the people who read them.

 

15. Have you ever met a famous person? Who and where?

The humor writer, Dave Barry. He came into the store where I worked in college, all the time. I waited on him often. He was funny and nerdy, just like you'd expect.

 

16. When did you last have a full nights sleep?

A night or two ago, maybe three. I don't know. I don't sleep well. Naps help.

 

17. What would you think is harder: Going to work or staying at home with children?

Having only ever stayed home with my children, I would have to say going to work and missing out on things that you don't really want to miss.

 

18. What are you doing for Easter?

Haven't even thought about it yet.

 

19. What is your favorite drink?

Alcoholic - a good Mai Tai, Rumrunner or Piña Colada. Non-alcoholic - Diet Coke.

 

20. Do you play any sports?

I'm like the least athletic person you'll ever meet, so no. I keep planning on starting to run, though, but... so far I haven't. No excuses, I'm just lazy.

 

21. What is your most embarrassing moment?

Seventh grade. I wet my pants, in the middle of the school day. Not a great age for that. The popular kids noticed and laughed. It was mortifying.

 

22. How clever are you?

Six.

23. Name a new favorite TV show?

Smash, on NBC. I watch it online after it airs, since we don't have TV service.

 

24. Any guilty pleasures?

Sure. I shouldn't eat chocolate, but I do. I shouldn't take as much "me time" as I do.  I take advantage of my husband's understanding and generosity sometimes, but I try to make sure he knows I appreciate everything he does for me.

25. If you could have chosen your own name, what would it be?

I used to hate my name, Melanie, but now I really love it. I would've named me Melanie Penelope, instead of Ann, though. I'm silly and I like lots of syllables.

26. Whom do you most admire in life, and why?

Single parents who manage to make it work and raise their children into decent adults. I don't know that I could. I have a lot of respect for that.

 

27. What is your most treasured possession?

My mom's jewelry box. My dad gave it to me last year. Not "the good stuff," my older sister got that. I got the costume jewelry. I remember her wearing some of the pieces. Like the necklaces. I remember her bending down and those necklaces being in my face. She died when I was seven, so those are powerful jolts of memory.

28. Tell your favorite funny joke…

I'm really not good with remembering jokes. That's my husband's forte. I rather tell my own, be my own funny.

29. What is your biggest fear in life?

Losing another one of my children. One of my twin boys died almost nine years ago. It wrecked my psyche. If it happened again... I don't know that I could survive that.

30. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? What does it remind you of?

 

Peanut Butter and Chocolate. It reminds me of when I worked at a sundae shop on St. Pete Beach, and I ate entirely too much of it, because it was gourmet and good. Vanilla and butter pecan remind me of my grandpa. They were his favorites, and he was very fond of ice cream. He always claimed to have taught me how to eat it!

 

Have a lovely week, darlings.

 

Fin.

Friday Fragments

Link up here if you're fragmenting along with Mrs. 4444 today!

☼

This will be short, as I don't have a whole lot to say. I haven't had a good week. As you may know, I'm bipolar, and my psychopharmacologist (the shrink who prescribes, basically) changed up one of my meds last week. (I take quite a cocktail to stay on a semi-even keel, needless to say, as I'm Bipolar I, and it's... hard to stay stable.) Anway, it was a bad move on his part, and I took a nosedive and got very depressed and suicidal very fast. I couldn't sleep, then I slept too much, and back and forth, back and forth. To be completely honest, I took my first shower tonight in a week. A WEEK! I barely left the house, and I had to take the week off from homeschooling the kids. I finally called him and said "uncle," and he put me back on the old med. It's been a day, and I can already feel the difference. I'm on my way back up, thank GOD, and I know it'll be okay. So... that's pretty much how I've spent my week.

☼

Last Friday was my mother's birthday. She would have been 61, had she not died at the age of 33. As I'm 35 now, that once-far off age seems so surrealistically, impossibly, unfairly young. She was just a babe. It still blows my mind that she died, let alone so young.

☼

Friday was also our "second eleventh" anniversary. To explain, Hubs and I eloped on January 2nd, our "real" wedding anniversary, but we had a wedding in front of family, friends, and God on my mom's birthday. A very small wedding on the beach at sunset. I was barefoot - and pregnant! - by then. It was funny, because I thought I sent my husband flowers for Valentine's Day this year, and when they didn't come, I mentioned it to him. I'd never sent flowers to a man before, and he'd never been sent flowers before, so I thought I'd switch things up and take the pressure of him to be the one to, you know, spoil his lady on that Hallmark holiday. Heh. Well, when the flowers showed up on our sort-of anniversary, I was all, ohhhh yeah. Duh.

☼

Meh. I really don't have much else to say. This post is kind of a downer, huh? I'm sorry. Hopefully next week I'll be more upbeat and fun.

Have a great weekend, y'all.

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The 99'er Meme, Part The Last

Link up here if you're playing along today. Hopefully it won't eat my entry, like it did for Saturday 9, when I was all the way finished... so frustrating. Anyway, here we go:

Cheers to all of us thieves!

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

I'm no authority. As long as both (all?) parties are happy, that's what counts.

77) How did someone win your heart?

I met my husband online. I knew from his first email that he was The One. I could tell he was smart, funny, and had ambition, for starters. And he responded to my wacky profile, which was insane, so he had to be a good catch, right?

78) In your world, what brings on more creativity?

Inspiration from various sources, whether it be others' creations, nature, patterns, my own weird mind, my children... all can lead to creative spurts from me.

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Marrying that guy in #77 eleven years ago.

80) Why did you break up with your last ex?

We had a horrible relationship anyway, but when he broke my two front teeth, that was the end.

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Nothing. I want to be eaten by sharks.

82) What is your favorite word?

Pupitre - it's Spanish for "student desk."

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: delusional.

The Bitch From Hell, aka my ex-stepmother.

84) What is a saying you use a lot?

Lately, it's "awesomesauce," although I'm trying to cut back.

85) Are you watching Idol this season? If yes, how do you like it?

Nope. We don't get TV service. Makes it hard to get credit on Viggle!

86) Were you surprised that House got canceled?

House got canceled?

87) What is your current desktop picture?

LOL... a really pretty skein of yarn, in my favorite shades of bluish-greens...

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

See #83. ;)

89) What would be a question where you'd not tell the truth?

Well, answering that would already give too much away, wouldn't it? So I plead the fifth.

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by WEEPING ANGELS. The Weeping Angles aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What would you do?

That's just too weird. I would probably decide I was really still asleep.

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

I can fly! (I've always believed I could; I dream it all the time...)

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

That whole running to the courthouse to elope before it closed episode was breathtakingly wonderful. I'd do that again and again and again.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Can I erase ages 7-17? If not, then when my son died. Well, I would erase a whole host of bad experiences, but pretty much nothing tops saying good-bye to your own child forever.

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. (let's say that you are both single and available) Who might it be?

Y'all know I'm going to say Eric Clapton, right?!

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Australia. I'm already packed.

96) Do you have any relatives or friends in jail?

I don't know anyone in jail, thankfully.

97) Who's winning the U.S. Republican presidential nomination? Why?

I don't know, but God help us all if it's Newt.

98) Who's winning the next U.S. Presidential election?

I wouldn't mind a repeat of the last election. I don't know, though, I don't seem to have much company amongst my, well, my Facebook friends, at least! haha

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

I would implore them to take care of this beautiful planet we've been given. Some say it's already too late, and it may well be, but if every single person made an effort, maybe we could reverse some of the damage and stop further progression toward disaster.

Are you listening??!

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The 99'er Meme, Part The Third

Link up here if you're playing along late this week(end), like I am.

Cheers to all of us thieves!

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
 

Yeah. Unless they apologize. Then I'm easily forgiving.

  

52) What's your astrological sign? 

 

Virgo. Unless we're talking Chinese, and then I'm a Dragon.

  

53) Do you save money for anything? What?

 

Spending.

 

54) What's the last thing you purchased?

Cat litter. Whew, we were desperate. Four cats who all prefer ONE box? Yick.

 

55) Have you ever had a relationship that you realized was lust not love?

Of course. I'm a hot-blooded American female. ;)

 

56) In a relationship?

That is not a complete sentence. Are you asking if I'm in one now? If so, yes, I'm on my dozenth year of marriage. Is dozenth a word?

 

57) How many relationships have you had?

Too many to count. See my answer to #55.

 

58) What do you want to tell us about your day?

I took my nearly-9yo son out with me to run errands, including shipping a bunch of boxes at the post office (using the automated machine), 7-11 for Diet Coke and a reward snack for him (and to pick out something for his sisters, too), and the grocery store for the afore-mentioned cat litter. He was a perfect little gentleman: without asking, he held open the P.O. door for me when my arms were full of packages, and since had my keys and likes to lock and unlock the van doors, he did so and then opened my driver's door for me, just because. I was very touched and impressed. He's so sweet! ♥ (And he put a lot of thought into what his sisters would enjoy, too.)

 

59) Where were you yesterday?

I'm going to answer this as if "yesterday" was Saturday, so I'll tell you that. In the morning, my daughters and I went to a Girl Scout event wherein they learnt, on real sewing machines (something I've been wanting to do but haven't yet...) how to make drawstring bags. The bags will be given to Operation Smile and filled before being sent to cleft palate and other oral surgery patients overseas.

 

Then we dropped off a couple Valentine's Day cards I had made for some nearby friends (we were far-ish from home) before stopping at a few stores to play with the iPhone (and Droid?) apps CheckPoints and shopkick, where you get points and then rewards for checking into stores and scanning the designated products. It's fun and addicting. And me like prizey.

 

(If you're into TV and want rewards for checking into TV shows, check out Viggle as well. Even if you don't watch TV, like me, you can still rack up quite a lot of points in other ways, so it's worth having.)

 

60) Is there anything interesting within 10 feet of you?

A mirror. No, for serious, there's tons of interesting things, in my opinion. There's the Britto, Deep Night Romance, that we bought on our Mediterranean cruise 3½ years ago, which speaks volumes about my hubs' and my love for each other. Then there's Hubs himself, who is a wonder of wonders. I'd go on, but you're practically snoring and drooling over there, so never mind for now.

 

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

No, and 9 times out of 10, I won't be. I love bare feet.

62) What's your favorite animal?

Sharks, but my favorite land animal and a close second are elephants. I've always been fascinated by elephants.

 

 

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I wish I knew. I mean, I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

64) Where is your best friend?

Sleeping on the couch 5' away.

65) How did you end your last relationship end?

We lived together. We got in a fight. He shoved me into a bookshelf, breaking my two front teeth. I kicked him out. The end. (Wow, I made a long story short, imagine that!)

66) What is your heritage?

I'm 2/3 German/Pennsylvania Dutch, with some English and Hungarian, and I'm sure a smidge of "mutt."

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

I believe I was actually sound asleep for once. Rare for me, at that hour. I was tonight, too, but I woke up wide awake at 0200 (it's 0311 now) and that was it. Maybe I'll sleep more later, maybe not. I sure hope so.

68) What's new?

I can't really answer that. If this is your first time here, then everything is new. If not, you pretty much know everything. I got the Girl Scout cookies my girls have sold so far today, and so I'm like a mother bird sitting on her nest now, protecting them from the snack-thieving Sophia. I guess that's news? LOL

69) What is the key to seduction?

Leaving more to the imagination than is revealed, at least at first...

70) What was the weirdest thing that happened to you this week??

My usually-grumpy psychopharmacologist, who prescribes my bipolar and anxiety disorder meds, smiled genuinely at me after I complemented him on his nice sweater. I nearly fell over from the shock.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Get fired.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

(a) I'd tell some people, but I wouldn't have it, like, emblazoned on a t-shirt.

(b) I'd try like hell to get to Australia and Japan, and finish up as much else on my bucket list as I could.

(c) No. I've never been afraid of death. Honestly, I'd be excited about seeing my mommy and my baby boy again.

73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.

F**k you. Oh, are you asking me to pick? Wow. That's a tough one. Um, love, I guess. I'd rather be madly in love and always suspicious than completely trusting and have someone betray that. So, love.

74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Lots of songs do, but the first one that comes to mind is "Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega. Can't help but dance!

75) Who has your cell phone number (other than family)?

Half of North America, it seems like. Lots of people. LOOOOTS of people. (We don't have a home phone line, so it's all I have.)

Well, I'm off to 7-11 to get me another Diet Coke. Yes, I realize it's the midding hours, but I'm fairly well immune to the caffiene-keeping-me-awake properties of the stuff by now. If I'm meant to sleep, I will, worry not.

And with that -

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: Never-Ending Meme, Parte Fin

Link up here if you're playing along this week!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

36. Have you watched American Horror Story?

Nope, I have no idea what that is, sorreh.

37. Baseball hat or toque?

Uhh... I have this beret I like to wear. So, toque?

38. Do you shampoo or soap up first in the shower?

Shampoo, wash face, rinse hair, condition, soap up, rinse hair. Since you asked. :P

39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste?

Wet

40. Pen or pencil?

Pen. I hate writing with a pencil. Hate.

41. Have you ever gambled at a casino?

Yeah, with someone else's money. I lost it quickly. Just as well; I'm not the gambling type.

42. Have you thrown up on a plane?

What kind of questions are these? It's like you just threw a bunch of words up in the air and let them land where they may. Um, no.

43. Have you thrown up in a car?

Okay, yes. I have done that. Couple times.

44. Have you thrown up at work?

Yesss... what's with all these upchucking questions? I threw up at the vet's office once too, when I was pregnant with my oldest. Embarrassing!

45. Do you scream on roller coasters?

I rarely go on roller coasters, because I'm chickenshit, but hell yes, I scream like a mofo.

46. How many shoes do you have?

Not a ton. I have a shoe organizer thingy on the back of my closet door. It's full. Mostly Crocs, flip-flops and slippers. I'm no fashionista, people.

47. Who was your first roommate?

Jen from Rochester. She was nuttier than I was, if you can imagine that. I liked her, for the most part, until she went total fruitcake on me and dropped out of university. Never heard from her again. 

48. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time?

Multiple shots of Goldschläger, when I was 17. I was a wreck, but I bowled better than I ever did sober, so hey.

49. What was your first job?

Babysitting, if that counts, followed by working for my dad in his travel agency, if that counts, followed by a local small supermarket cashier gig. I loved that freakin' job. My customers were awesome!

50. What was your first car?

1991 red Ford Escort Wagon. I bought it in 1993. I drove it maybe half a dozen times. Long story. 

51. When did you go to your first funeral?

When my great-aunt Amy died, when I was about 15 or so. She lived in Manhattan, but the funeral was in Staten Island, I think. Or maybe we just went there as long as we were in the city, since my dad grew up on SI. We visited Aunt Amy a lot during her life, though, so it's... babble time, apparently.

52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?

Six. We lived in Monroe, NY, until then, and moved up to the Syracuse area. When I moved away, on my own, after that, it was to Miami for college. Oh wait, I'm forgetting the summer between high school and college, when I lived in South Carolina with my dad.

53. Who was your first grade teacher?

I had subs all year long. My teacher was supposed to be Mrs. Sullivan, but she had a baby, like, the week before school started, and apparently they had no back-up plan. I had a different sub every day of the year until we moved up to the Syracuse area in April of that year. Then it was Mrs. Mullins at first, until I tested up to the "smart kids' class," and I can't remember the new teacher's name...

54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?

From Newark, NJ, to Syracuse, NY. I was five. I rode by myself. My older sister was supposed to go, but she was scared to fly by herself, so they sent me instead. I loved it. Wait, that was my first solo flight. I don't remember my actual first flight. I've been flying forever, my whole life. I should be a damn pilot by now. Probably the same trip, though, in either direction.

55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?

Julie, who I was fortunate enough to reconnect with on Facebook years later, after she moved away that summer. That was three years ago, and we're still tight. She was sleeping over at my house, and we left in the middle of the night to go buy junk food at the grocery store down the road apiece. I was shitting my pants, I was so nervous! It was fun, though. That's the only time I ever snuck out, more or less.

56. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?

Victoria Dixon. She was petite and beautiful, I thought. That was in Monroe; I haven't heard from her since I moved at six. Holy old memories in this meme, eh? 

57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents’ house?

My dorm room at the U of Miami, and I loved it!

58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?

My husband at work, if he's not home. If he is home, I just talk to him.

59. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?

My dad's, with his third wife. (He's on Wife #5 now.) I was eight. My mother had died a year earlier. I hardly felt celebratory.

60. What is the first thing you do in the morning?

Try not to wake up, give up, and go pee.

61. What was the first concert you attended?

It was either Whitney Houston or Bon Jovi. This was the 80s, when Whitney was still the shiznat.

62. First tattoo or piercing?

No tattoos. Four piercings in each ear, though I rarely fill them. I got my nose pierced when I turned 21. I still wear it.

63. First celebrity crush?

Matt Dillon! That makes me laugh now, for some reason...

64. What's your favorite number?

64! Okay, I totally just added that question myself because, hello, it's my favorite number and I wanted to end on it. :P

Okay, I'm tired and have a headache, so no witty parting remarks. See you in a week.

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The Never-Ending Meme, Parte Dos

Link up here if you're doing Part II of this misnamed meme!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

21. Did you go to your high school prom?

I went to my Freshman Banquet, with my then-BFF Erin. There was no Sophomore dance at our school, but that year I went to my then-boyfriend's Freshman Banquet (he was older than me, but, er, uh, not as academic if you know what I mean). I went with a group of friends to my Junior Prom. I couldn't go to my Senior Ball, because my boyfriend was black, and we weren't "out" as a couple to my family, who would not have approved. So... no?

22. Perfect time to wake up?
23. Perfect time to go to bed?

Ideally, I'd stay up all night and sleep all day. I'm nocturnal; I always have been.  I'd convert my children - who are homeschooled - to the same schedule to make it easier on myself, if it wouldn't pretty much eff up the rest of their lives! :P

24. Do you use your queen right away in chess?

I have never had the privilege of being engaged in a chess match. Learning to play - and beating someone - is on my Bucket List.

25. Ever been in a car accident?

Oh, yeah. A few, but the most memorable was the time my dad and I were driving me back to college in Miami from South Carolina, and about 1/3 of the way there, we got hit by a drunk driver. It was the middle of the night, and the young man sped off, leaving us spinning around until we landed, facing out toward the road, down an embankment. There was an eerie silence except for the music coming from my boombox, which had flown out a broken window and gotten turned on. My dad sat there, paralyzed, not having a clue what to do, while I was basically freaking the freak out of an 18-year-old girl who desperately wanted to get back to school and away from ... him.

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was probably more like 20 minutes, a semi pulled into view. I leaned over in front of my dad and leaned on the horn for all I was worth. The truck driver skidded to a stop as soon as he could, and soon he was on the scene, helping us out of the thick brush and rescuing us. Before long, the place was crawling with police, us, the trucker, and the drunk driver and his dad, who had woken up when his son slammed into the house. He'd taken one look at his son and realized something bad had happened, telling him, "You've got to go back there, son." The police told us that we probably would have been dead if all four tires hadn't blown out on our rental van during the spinning and crashing. Anyway, that's my story. 

26. Closer to mom or dad…or neither?

Well, I told you that story... but my mom died when I was 7. I 'talk' to her all the time, so... I'd say it's a draw.

27. What age is this exciting life over for you?

I expected to drop dead at the age of 33, just like my mom did, all my life, so now that I'm 35, every year I get older is just an amazing, miraculous surprise. I intend to live life right out loud as long as I've got, whether it ends tomorrow or when I'm 103. I don't know. I never expected to get old, but I've married the love of my life, and it would be spectacular to get old together, y'know?

28. What decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager?

I loved being a child of the 80s, but I think the Roaring 20s would have been fun, or the 50s, with the sock hops and all that stuff.

29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned?

Well, I haven't worn them yet, but I got these knee-high black boots that fit perfectly and look great, off Freecycle. I'm taking a break from knitting THE perfect dress to go with them. I can't wait to rock that outfit!

30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high school?

I do. Several shirts. Nothing worth mentioning, really.

31. Were you in track and field?

*Snort* No. Running for me is like ... like... a penguin trying to fly. It's almost physically impossible. I'd like to do the pole vault, though.

32. Were you ever in a school talent show?

Well, no. I was the Caterpillar in our 5th grade production of Alice in Wonderland, and I was a big hit. Then I developed stage fright, after my stepmother made some evil cracks about how I wasn't worth the money to spend on my dance lessons, though I was talented... but let's not go there. No. I wasn't ever in a talent show.

33. Have you ever written in a library book?

I don't know. I don't think so. I've probably dog-eared a few, though.

34. Allergic to?

It was the weirdest thing. I was never, ever allergic to anything, until 2008, when I was suddenly allergic to EVERYTHING. Strawberries and apples, Percocet and Anceph, the chlorine at the pool, my pillows... everything. I had reactions constantly. Then we went to Europe in the summer, and the reactions stopped during the trip. I haven't had an allergic reaction since then. Weird, right?

35. Favorite fruit?

Rob. Oh, you meant fo' real, a food? Hmm... I love me some fruit. It's a tie between kiwi and strawberries. I like grapes, too. Oh, and Clementines... and canteloupe. I love me some fruit!

Until next week, my babies...

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The Never-Ending Meme, Parte Uno

Link up here if you're meme-crazy like me, too!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Song that always makes you sad?

"To Where You Are" by Josh Groban, and "Tears in Heaven" by E.C.

2. Last thing you bought?

Canned foods for our donation to the Food Bank, part of our entrance fee to last night's Girl Scout Cookie Rally  

3. Last person you argued with?

Rob and I had it OUT the other day about where we're going to live after he retires in 1½ years from the US Navy, but I'm going to keep mum this time, until we actually make things happen. Sorreh.

4. Do you put butter before putting the peanut butter on?

Huh? Butter with peanut butter? Huh? Is you crazy?

5. One of your stuffed animals’ names as a kid?

My Cabbage Patch Kids were Aubrey Lenora, Tiffany Jacqueline, and Andrea Jeanine.

6. Did you ever at one time own a Barenaked Ladies CD?

Well, of course. "If I had a million dollars" is one of "our" songs...

7. Favorite day of the week?

Any day that Rob is home with me, sap sap, mush mush, gag.

8. Favorite sundae topping?

I can't eat it anymore, but if it's going to be a sundae, it better have nuts, hot fudge, whipped cream, and a cherry. Good stuff, there. Mmm.

9. Did you take piano lessons?

Yes. Well, my mom played the organ, so when she died, I took organ lessons to honor her. When the piano teacher came to my house, I played the organ. When I went to her house, I played her piano. So, kinda.

10. Most frequent song played?

Right now I'm overplaying "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5. There are boobs in the explicit version on YouTube, you know. I discovered this the other day. Who doesn't like boobs? I was told recently that even gay guys like 'em. Who knew?

11. TV show you secretly enjoy?

I enjoy Phineas and Ferb, which we stream on Netflix, since we don't have 'real' TV. Rob and I laugh more than the children do, I swear.

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey?

Hockey. I can whack the shit out of some puck, dude.

13. Date someone older or younger?

I prefer them older. I don't want to teach you new tricks. I want you to know the tricks. Kwim?

14. One place you could travel right now?

Could, or would like to? I mean, I could travel to Williamsburg or the Outer Banks. I would like to travel to Japan or Australia. Say what you mean, and mean what you say, dammit.

15. Do you use umbrellas?

We have a Britto umbrella, which I bought for Rob as a gift during a trip to Charleston, that mostly sits unused. I prefer to just get wet, unless my hair and make-up are done, and then I'm using that mofo. I like getting rained on.

16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem?

Yeah, I know all the words to all the national anthems, dude. Duh. :\

17. Favorite cheese?

Velveeta. Sike! (Although I admit, I'll use it when it suits.) Hmm... I do like my Muenster.

18. The Smiths or The Cure?

Depends on the mood. Whatever, I like it all but country.

19. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?

I really don't give a rat's ass. I like arm muscles, though. Not that you asked that.

20. Best job you ever had?

You should expect me to say the current one, mothering my three bebes. Which I do love, of course. But aside from that, I'd say it's a toss-up between my internship in Fisheries Biology at Mote Marine Lab and my stint working at the dive shop Diver's Paradise on Key Biscayne. Times of my life, both.

Well, that wasn't exactly never-ending. Twenty questions, really? I was prepared for fourscore. Ah well. More fun next week. Ciao, thieving peeps.

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The Honesty Meme

 

Link up here if you played along with the other thieves!

Right now I'm feeling...  Craftish. I really (REALLY) need to be doing laundry and cleaning my house, but I just want to do crafts. Love it!!! Right now I'm working on my oldest daughter's crafts and her new Etsy shop to get her things listed - check it out if you're interested!

When I'm alone I feel... great!!!! As the mama of three living children under 10, life is chaotic. I like my "me" time. Very, very much.

When I'm surrounded by people I feel... it depends on who they are. If I know them all well, I'm comfortable being "me" and am usually the funny one in the group. If I don't know them well, then I'm painfully shy and play the wallflower. I prefer the former, obviously.

One thing I hate is... people smoking around me, or in general. I really, really loathe smoking. It's disgusting. I could go on a pages-long diatribe about that, but I'll spare you. For now.

One thing I really like about myself is... my willingness to jump head-first into new things, whether I really know what I'm doing or what I need to know about it, or not. I'm spontaneous and, at times, fearless, when it comes to new experiences. I think that makes life fun!

When I'm feeling sad I... cry. A lot. I'm a big-time cryer. I'm keeping Kleenex and Puffs in business single-handedly.

When I daydream it's usually about... travel. crafting. my future. life. Oh, gosh, everything. I daydream a LOT.

I'm afraid of... losing another child.

I'm happiest when... my family is happy. When Hubs and the kids are smiling, having a good time, enjoying themselves, then I'm at my most content.

One thing that really worries me is... when I make a cake for You Take The Cake!, my dessert business, that it won't turn it out well or that the people won't like it. I love doing it, but it produces mucho anxiety on my part!

If I could change one thing about myself it would be... Physically, it would be the amount of excess skin I have after losing 200+ pounds. Personally, it would be lots of things, but according to my therapist, the number one thing I need to change is being way too damn hard on myself. I need to learn to give myself more credit, be gentler with myself, and, well, like me.

If I could be with anyone right now I would be with... the people I've lost. If I could go to Heaven for a day and see my baby boy, my mama, and my grandparents, that would be incredible. Time travel? Who cares. How 'bout "heaven travel"??

The family member I am closest to is... besides my immediate family who live with me, that would be my sister. I love her. She's one of my very best-est friends. I wish we lived close to each other. Sorry I haven't called in a while, Sis!!

If I was really honest with my father I would tell him... that he will never be alone with my daughters. He probably wouldn't even understand why, and then I'd have to go into the explanation, and that is what I am avoiding. I recently had to explain why to my oldest daughter, and that basically sucked big donkey balls.

One thing I regret about my life is... I can't think of anything. Sure, I've made mistakes - plenty of them - but you learn as you grow, grow as you learn, as my friend Michelle said on the Book of Face today!

If I only had one more day to live I would... Well, hopefully, I do. And I'll spend it at the jumpy-bouncy place with my kids. Can't wait!

If I was really honest with my mother i would tell her... That I miss her terribly and, while I'm not angry at her for dying so young (age 33; I was seven), I'm angry that she didn't go get medical help when she knew she was so sick. We needed her, growing up, and even now, and she should've gone to the doctor. *sigh*

One thing about me that nobody knows is... going to remain that way. Sorreh.

I hope that someday in the future... I'll get to live outside of the country again. Hopefully for longer than four months, this time. Adventure is out there!

When I think about my family I feel... the warm fuzzies. I love my husband dearly, and I love my babies like crazy. 'Nuff said!

Something I'm really embarrassed about is... my saggy, ugly boobs, and my saggy, ugly baby belly. I need plastic surgery baaaaaadly!

One thing about me I never want to change is... my ability to laugh at myself. If you can't do that, you're sunk.

One thing I feel really proud of is... Losing those 200+ pounds, man, whether I had to have surgery to do it or whatever. I look so different, I feel so much better, and it kicks butt to be able to shop at "regular" stores now!!!

Blogsville has helped me to... Get things off my chest that otherwise would weigh me down.

One thing I like about blogsville is... There is just so much out there! I get laughs, I get inspiration, and I've made some cool friends. Wait, that's like, three things. Oh well, kiss my butt. Hee.



Have a great week, kids!



Fin.

Saturday 9: Go Your Own Way

Saturday 9 is served up by Crazy Sam - link up if you're playing along!

1. When was the last time you were told to go your own way?

Earlier tonight, but I can't really discuss the specifics of that conversation, sorreh!

2. What one experience has strengthened your character the most so far?

Regular readers might expect me to say something about the death of my son, but I feel so weakened by that experience, that I don't know if that's true. I can't even think of what has. Maybe the death of my mom when I was a little girl. That completely shaped who I am today, as an adult, a wife, a woman, a mother...

3. What's your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?

I have a lot of choices. I can completely entertain myself, whether it's farting around online, knitting or crocheting, reading, watching a movie with the kids, scrapping... you get the idear.

4. How long can you go without your cell phone?

Dude. If I stir in my sleep, I grab it to check my email. I have an iPhone. I can't live without it.

5. Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Oh, hell yes. Same people, but anywhere but here. I freaking hate this house.

6. Of all the people you've ever known, who have you most feared?

My ex-stepmother. She laughed at me when I told her I was afraid of her, once. Fucking psychotic bitch.

7. Do people tell you that you look your age?

No. I mostly hear that I look a lot younger. Mostly by me.

8. Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say?

Depends on which ex. If it's my most recent ex, I wouldn't say anything. I'd just slam the door in his nasty face. (I'm talking about Jamil, if you're wondering...)

9. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

It completely depends on what they have done, but generally, yes.

Fin.

 

Turning Things Around

I thought today was going to be a waste of a day.

I woke up on time, but then I hit my snooze button and went back to sleep. Only I didn't really hit it after all and woke up 45 minutes later, with just 5 minutes to get the girls up, dressed, fed, lunches made, and out the door. We missed a few of those steps, but I did get their lunches made while they dressed. At least we made the bus, and at least they can get breakfast at school...

Back at home, the plan was to spend the day doing laundry. Only, I wanted to wait until Jack woke up, because I knew if I went upstairs to start laundry, it would wake him up, and he'd be a grumpy bear. Not only that, but if I had to come down to prepare his breakfast, then I would probably be too lazy to go back upstairs and finish. I'm like that.

So I farted around online until he woke up.

At noon.

Noon!

Someone is lazy like his mama. I couldn't be more proud.

Anyway, five minute before he woke up, I had decided I would take a little nap until he came down. And then he came down a minute later, but it was too late: I had already gotten myself into that nap frame of mind. You know the one? Your mind starts to shut down, you start yawning, and all productivity - both internal and external - has fled the scene. It's too late. You need that nap.

So I got him fed and set up with a DVD next to me on the couch, and I snoozed.

It was supposed to be for an hour.

Apparently I was tired today, because it stretched into almost THREE hours, and I didn't stir until my "here comes the bus" alarm went off on my iPhone. (That's my safety line, y'know?)  Jack had gotten up and switched from Toy Story to Toy Story 2 while I slept. And there he still sat.

What a waste. An entire school day with nothing to show for it.

But then...

I did get up. And I got those girlies of mine. And I saw that it was a beautiful, nay, gorgeous day. We've been battling 95º heat, but today was in the low 70s. I find that far more bearable.

The kids had a snack, and then we all went upstairs to get some work done. I turned off the non-functioning AC (hey, I'm an optimist) and threw open all the windows, started a load of laundry, set the kids to the task of cleaning their perpetually-messy rooms, and took myself a chilly shower.

When I emerged, I felt Truly Ready to conquer the omnipresent mountain of laundry. This time, it had taken  over our bed, three - no, four - baskets around our room, and half the upstairs hallway. I swear, I do not know how this happens, since it seems like we are forever doing laundry. Three kids are NOT that many, are they?! They produce SO much work for me, though!

Anyway.

Rob and the kids went out to McDonalds. Not to eat, of course, but to return the two cadmium-laced Shrek Forever After cups we received in our House Party pack. I told Rob he could pocket the money if he felt like doing that, since I had no desire to step into a McD's myself. They were successful. Then he stopped at a 7-11 to pick us each up a giant Coke (Diet for me, natch), which totally defeats the purpose of eating organically, but you know what?

THAT SHIT WAS GOOD.

Heh.

So for the next six hours, I worked on laundry. I lost count of how many loads, which is fine, since not a one of you really gives a damn anyway. I washed, dried, folded, put away, hung and ...no, I won't lie. I didn't iron anything.

And it's ALL DONE. Finished. Finí.

Until tomorrow.

Then we begin again. But hey, I call that being productive on a day that started out quite the opposite. Right?

But that's not all. Oh, no. With me, it almost never is.

While I was waiting for that last load to dry, and my iPhone was downstairs charging its dead battery or else I'd have been on it playing Scrabble and obsessively checking my email, I painted my nails.

Oh, wait, that's not the exciting part. My bad.

(By the way, who is stupid enough to paint their nails when they're about to fold laundry? Hello, wreck waiting to happen. But it didn't! I used the L'Oréal polish that I'd picked up a few months back on one of my deal runs, and wow! That stuff dries fast. I even painted two coats and didn't get a single smudge. Gosh, that's fascinating, Melanie, you're saying. I know. I write the most intriguing stuff.)

The exciting part was that, after painting my nails "Mango-Get-Em" orange, I decided to go through a long-neglected corner of my bedroom to see if there was anything I could get rid of on Freecycle. I'm trying to declutter like a madwoman right now, and no place in this house is safe. Except Rob's closet. I'm afraid if I go in there to sort things out, I will never return. Seriously. It is scary in there.

I found a bunch of things to Freecycle, yes. But better than that, I found some things I had been looking for forever!

Like what, you ask?

Well, like my mom's orange wallet, which my dad gave to me after she died. I was only little then, seven, but I recognized the importance of keeping that wallet and have never parted with it. I cherish it, even if it is old and ugly and is missing a snap.  Maybe someone could fix it for me and make it serviceable and I could use it, or maybe when I die, one of my little girls will want it and will cherish it like I do. I dunno.

Also, I found my set of soft-tip darts. My much-older friends and I used to go to the bowling alley down in the same strip as our grocery store after work and hang out in the bar, playing darts. This was in my senior year of high school. They would actually take me to one of their houses after work but before the bowling alley, give me a shot or two of Goldschlager (good friends, I had) to get me nice and toasty, and then we'd go sit and play darts. Central New York is a happening place, what can I say? I actually got pretty good at the darts - even though everyone made fun of me, because my stance was lefty even though I shot righty - so my friend Kirstin took me to the dart store (yes! They have those!) to buy me my own set. I couldn't decide on the flights I wanted, so she let me get all three: turquoise, silver, and white with Miami Dolphins on them. I knew I was headed for Miami the following year, but they didn't have anything with the 'Canes on them, so the Dolphins were the next best thing.

That was in 1994. I haven't played since, so I offered them on Freecycle. I'm kind of thinking I should go play darts one last time before letting them go, though. What do you think?

And, I found my old Biology dissection kit. I can't remember whether I bought it in high school or college. I guess one of the kids - that naughty Sophia, I'm sure - was digging around in there, because two instruments are missing, one of the spare scalpel blade packages was open, and the rest of the packages were dumped all over the place. The idea of what could have happened there makes me shudder... but fortunately, no booboos came of that little exploration. I have since moved the dissection kit!

I found my three watches, too. One is my Guess? watch, which my first fiancé (of several) (I know) (but I only married the last one, so the others don't count) gave me as a high school graduation present. I wore it through college until the little post that holds the band onto the face got lost, and it's been sitting in its box ever since. With a drained battery. The other two are from my dad's beloved Aunt Amy; Dad gave them to me when she died about 18 years ago. They never worked, and the band is broken the same way on the Timex. Or is the Bill Blass? Maybe the latter. Anyway, I told Rob on the phone later that if he wanted to make me happy for pennies for this coming birthday/Christmas/October 12th, he could get the watches fixed for me. I would love that.  I haven't worn a watch since that Guess? band broke in college!

But the happiest discovery? My jewelry!! I had been keeping it all in the original jewelry boxes in my sock drawer (hint, thieves: don't bother looking there now. You won't find them), but they went missing ages ago. AGES. And apparently the same little imp who tried to slice herself open with my scalpel decided that this new place would be a great hiding spot for all my jewels, because that is where I found them. I have been SO sad all this time about losing them (which isn't really fair to say, since they were taken from me, and I didn't actively lose them at all); I can't even convey to you how much. They were important to me because they were my birthstone, sapphires, and because my husband gave them to me. Not all the pieces were found, but enough to make me truly overjoyed. I found one of my earrings, two of my rings, and a bracelet. The earrings and rings were an anniversary present; we'd purchased the loose stones for super-cheap on eBay, and he took them to a jeweler and had them mounted. I absolutely adored them and was heartbroken when they went missing. And here they are again!

That's one of the rings. Isn't it lovely? I adore it. And look, you can see how crappy a job I did, painting my right-hand nails with my left hand. And you can see how old my hands look now that they have lost so much weight; it's the loose skin that is everywhere on my body. Doesn't escape the hands. Do they do hand lifts?

So I've rambled long enough. It's been a happy night for me. I hope it was for you, too.

Cheers!

Fin. 

 

 

Eyes Wide Open

Well, that was an interesting visit with my dad and wife #5, as always.

As for her, I am not impressed. I don't want to dog the poor woman out on here, but let's just say my shoe has more personality.

As for him, well. There have been a couple of occasions in the past where I was tempted to completely disown him and cut him out of my life, but something keeps holding me back. Is it that I just don't want to be parentless? Maybe. Is it that I still sense that somewhere in there, deep down, is some semblance of a decent human being? Maybe, but as he approaches 70, it's becoming less likely.

He better hope he's married to someone if and when he's too old to take care of himself anymore, because neither my sister nor I are likely to do it. In contrast, I'd cut off my left ear to have my grandfather come live with us!

There are some areas - most, actually - in which I would never model myself after my father:

#1: Relationships. I mean, c'mon, the man is on his fifth marriage, and he's not even rich or famous! (hee) Three of those (so far...) ended in divorce, and no doubt my mother would have left him, too, if she'd lived long enough.

#2: Parenting. After spending half a day with my kids, who were excited to see him and so therefore a little more wound-up than usual, his advice was to smack them around now and then. Really? This is your advice, all these years after your 16-year-old daughter became emancipated when you beat the shit out of her for the umpteenth time?

Sorry Dad, I told him, but spanking is just plain stupid. How do we teach our children not to hit each other if we're hitting them ourselves? Not to mention that it's pretty ineffective. No, hitting children is the realm of the unintelligent and unimaginitive parent.

He replied that yes, this is the current conventional wisdom. No, sir, it's MY own thinking. Yup, I do that now. Imagine that.

#3-through-infinity: everything else. He's just such... a dick!! He really is. He walks into our house, without knocking, like he owns the place, and begins making demands like a child. He expects everyone to drop everything and cater to his and his wife's needs, including sheltering his three possibly flea-ridden dogs for the duration of their visit. Three extremely spoiled and ill-mannered dogs, that is. My husband was floored when one of the dogs was found on top of the kitchen table, eating the leftovers we hadn't put away yet. Hey, dog, I was planning on eating that chicken later, y'know!

I asked him a question about movie stars, and it turned into this vitriolic political diatribe. Ugh!! I absolutely abhor talking about politics with anyone, but especially him, because he is so caustic and nasty about it. (Most of the people who ascribe to his particular beliefs on the subject seem to be, I've noticed, but not nearly so much as him.) He wasn't amused when I pointed out that most people in academia lean much more to the left. *ahem* But I was!

So, I could turn this into a huge, long mega-rant, and it might or might not be a very interesting read, but it's already 0200 and I have had a headache for most of the day. Do I really want to give myself a worse one when I need to go to sleep soon? No, I thought not.

********

Other than the stuff that drove me continually nuts (at least he knows better than to use the "n" word in my presence, since the last time when I stopped the car and threatened to kick him out), here are the highlights of his visit:

Dinner at Yukon Steakhouse Thursday night, which was abysmal. The company wasn't terrible, actually, but the service, the food, and the prices (!!!) were. I will never, EVER go back to that place, even if they offer us a free meal every month after I write to them.

Friday, the one full day Dad and Wife were here, we started off by driving down near Pungo to look at horse farms. Wife is a huge fan of horses. We were going to drive down to the beach and walk around, but the weather wasn't nice, so we just stopped at their hotel down there and had a potty break. Then Dad needed a kid break, so we went to LH Mall to let the kids run around in the play place while D&W did some window-shopping. (Before they left, and after they returned, he kept stopping at every other store window to ask Wife if she liked this much-too-young outfit or not. It was a little entertaining and a lot sad. I mean, she's got a 21yo grandchild, FPS!)  They took forever and a day to return, so the kids got hungry for lunch. I took them to Subway at the other end of the mall, and we came back to the play area, split the footlong four ways (with some left over), cleaned up, used the restroom, and still no sign of them. I was beginning to get irritated, but they finally showed.

We went home after that, and though it was not even 1600, I started dinner. Wife doesn't eat lunch and therefore requires a very early dinner, and apparently the whole world is supposed to bend to this crazy schedule. Whatever. I'd had the forethought to throw some chicken in the crockpot before we left in the morning, so between that and some quick pasta and sauce, dinner was a piece of cake. I'd baked cookies the afternoon before they arrived, so that was dessert. Everyone seemed satisfied, and no one cared that I hadn't prepared a fabulous gourmet meal, so that was a relief. I'm always nervous about feeding guests, thanks to my stepmother making me batshit crazy about cooking. Heh.

After dinner, we watched a western romance movie starring Katherine Heigl, which was the latest Netflix movie for my dad. They brought it up from home. The kids were bored to tears with it, but I was glued to the screen when I wasn't busy crocheting. (I'm thisclose to finishing that project and meant to do it today, but I couldn't do a thing with this migraine.) Anyway, it was called Love Comes Softly, and it was pretty good. I enjoyed it. Except for a scene near the beginning that proved it was clearly NOT the "kid-friendly movie" my father had proclaimed it to be. Argh, again!!

When the movie ended, they left with Jack for the night. He was terribly excited. I whispered all the "rules" of behavior to him, and he solemnly nodded his head in agreement before taking off, hand-in-hand, with his Grandpa. No way in hell I'd send one of my daughters for the night with him, but he - and they - don't know it yet. I felt Jack was safe enough for one night away with him, when it was only a 20-minute drive down the road. And I knew that on his own, Jack would behave well enough not to risk getting a spanking. Or worse.

And so they left. In Jack's absence, we gave Sophia an early birthday present (she turns five on Tuesday): the DVD/Blu-Ray combo pack of The Princess and The Frog. I'd gotten it for FREE on Amazon.com after cashing in for all those gift cards lately. Great movie; I really loved it both times that we've watched it so far, and I have several songs in my head from the movie. All at once. I can't wait to watch it again! The girls loved it, too.

I was going to finish my crocheting during that movie, but instead I had myself a little sobfest. It was the 26th anniversary of my mom's death, and though that might seem like a ridiculously long time to still be crying, the pain is fresh. I suspect it always will be. My sister cried too, she said, and I know her pain is the same as mine.

So on Saturday morning, we awoke early to the three dogs barking (bah!) and Rob leaving for work. I hate it when he works on the weekend... We were just getting out to take the dogs for a walk around the lake when Dad returned with Wife and Jack. Everyone but Wife went for the walk with the dogs, and then they packed up and left for home. I did not feel one pang of sadness or disappointment at their departure, which is quite the opposite feeling I get when, say, my sister leaves. Or I leave her. I remember crying my eyes out when we visited last August!

Well, I've probably said enough and then some. Hope y'all have a good week, and I'll be back again soon enough with tales of hijinks from my naughty kids in need of spanking. Wink, wink.

Fin.

 

Sunday Stealing

Link up here if you're playing along!

1. When is your birthday?

9/8/76 - pretty easy to remember, right? You'd think!

2. Where were you born?

Just north of NYC. Do you want my SS#, too?

3. Where do you live now?

Virginia Beach, by way of South Carolina, all over Florida, and Guam

4. What is your heritage?

I'm about 2/3 German, with some English and Hungarian thrown in.

5. Tell us about a weakness.

I've mentioned this many times before, but I'm very self-indulgent and have almost no willpower. I hate that about myself.

6. What's a goal that you'd like to achieve?

I would like to get down to ~150 lbs. I've lost 146.4 lbs as of this morning, so I'm well on my way!

7. What is the most overused internet phrase?

"I'm just sayin'," if we're talking about bloggers.

8. What was your first thought this morning?

"Is Rob awake yet? Can HE get up with the kids? That looks like a no..." (20 after 11, and he's still asleep!)

9. When do you usually go to bed?

Usually between 2-4 AM. It sucks.

10. Do you smoke? If not, did you ever?

No way, José. To both! I'd say more, but some of my readers would probably find my comment offensive, so I'll keep mum. ;)

11. Do you like your current relationship status?

Happily married for almost 9 years

12. Do you (or did you) get along with your parents?

My mother died when I was 7, but I'd like to think we'd be very close if she was still alive. My father, for the most part I do, but we have very conflicting views of the world, and only one of us seems to see the sense in not talking about certain issues... so things can get dicey on occasion!

13. How often do you drink alcohol?

A teensy-tiny bit every 2-3 months

14. Have you ever tried drugs (that weren't prescribed)?

Nope. Like smoking, I consider myself too intelligent to do that. Oops, I said that comment! ;)

15. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? If yes, do tell.

Sure I have. We had a pool growing up, and my three sisters and I would got out all the time and do it in the middle of the night. I think I've taken off my suit with a boyfriend or two in the middle of the ocean/lake/pool, too, but I really can't remember specific events.

16. If given the choice, how would you like to die?

Eaten by a shark! But please, make it quick.

17. What did you want to be when you grew up?

A marine biologist. I half-made it...

18. Have you ever been dumped?

Just once. I'm usually the dumper. I did not like it so much, I kind of went a little crazy that time! (None of you are surprised at that revelation, I'm sure!)

19. What's on your pizza?

Pineapple, mmm

20. Have you ever shoplifted?

Nope. Although one time, I was carrying around a koosh ball when they were new and popular, and I accidentally left the store with it. I went back and returned it, feeling pretty stupid!

Fin.

Years Of Tears

This post is going to be about something that very few people will relate to, unless you were a little girl whose mother died too young.  It's mostly a post for me, to get the feelings out, since they've been holding me down and rendering me useless. I'm sans therapist right now, so... here we are.

Speaking of therapists, I've been considering going back to my old therapist, Jeff. If you were there, oh... 3-3½ years go, you might remember that things didn't end on a good note with him. In short, I hadn't seen him in a while because I'd been doing well, until one of my then-close friends said, "When are you going to get over the dead baby thing?" at which point, I needed him badly. He never called me back, and I was desperate. It was a bad time. Another thing that might be hard for the non-bereaved to understand.

So I thought about extending the olive branch to Jeff, because he was really great for me, but I'm torn. On the one hand, I seriously do not want to give the whole of my life story to yet another therapist who may or may not end up working out, but on other hand, there was that whole drama. I just don't know what to do.

Anyway.

I'm turning 33 in just over a month. Every time I think about that number, I fall to pieces. I've been anticipating this birthday for 25 years, since I was seven. Now it's here, and I'm absolutely crumbling.

One April Friday in 1984, my mother came home from work, exhausted. She went to bed. She stayed in bed all day Saturday and Sunday, she did not really wake up. By Monday morning, she was dead.

There are so many "why"s that can never really be answered, and of course, this was a pivotal event in my life. We were Christian Scientists (which I always explain is not the cultish Scientology at all), which my dad still is, so we didn't go to doctors. But if your beloved spouse fell into a coma, even for one day, and you had two young children,  mightn't you think about getting her to a hospital this one time?  And why did my dad not let me get her a glass of water when she begged me for one, since she was so thirsty? I remember him saying something about her having enough to drink. Why??

And please, if you ever have to explain death to a child, do not tell them that their mommy/daddy/anyone "went for a walk with God." I spent a year sitting on the porch, waiting for my mother to come back from her walk.

And please, if that person is autopsied and the cause of death comes back to be untreated diabetes -or whatever -  talk about it with that child. Tell them. Do not let them spend years wondering what the hell happened to her. It's much easier and kinder to the child to tell them the truth about these matters.

I spent my childhood - and I still, in my heart of hearts, harbor the fantasy - thinking that my Mom had just left us to live another life somewhere. That she'd grown tired of us but would come back one day. I used to think the school bus would stop in front of my house, and there she would be, in the middle of the road with her arms outstretched, waiting to embrace me and be my mommy again.

I digress.

Mom was 33 when she died suddenly. Ever since, I have been convinced that the same thing is going to happen to me. I'll turn 33, and two months later, I'll be dead. It doesn't matter that it's not rational. It doesn't matter at all. It's what bereaved children often believe, and I know because I researched extensively into the subject for my child psych class in college. (I think I was supposed to do an 8-page paper and turned in a 40-pager...) I gave the paper to my sister as a gift that Christmas, and she cried and thanked me for validating the same thoughts, fears and feelings she'd always had but never discussed with me. It was amazing.

On Halloween of this year, I will have lived longer than my mother did.

It's crazy, absolutely crazy. At seven, and 17, and 27, 33 seems old enough. And definitely far away. At 30, things start to become more real, more immediate.

And now the time is here, and I realize that 33 is not old at all. Oh, God, no. I still feel like a kid. At least a college student! It's impossibly unfair; I still have my whole life stretched before me, to grow up my children and see their children and maybe theirs. To accomplish all the things still left on my bucket list. How can I be 33? How can the end of my life be near? I just learned to drive five minutes ago! I just graduated!

Imagine what it must have been like to be lying in bed, possibly aware that you were about to die, and you had 7- and 8-year-old daughters in the next rooms. Unaware that the most important and loving human being in their lives was about to be taken away, forever. She was a good - no, a great - mom, and that must have torn her to shreds if she was cognizant of it. I'm praying now that she wasn't.

Thirty-Three. Much too young.

Fin.