Smellyann Strikes Again

Sunday Stealing: The Imaginary Meme

Link up here if you're playing along - I'm doing Parts I and II together since I missed last week. Enjoy!

Sunday Stealing: The Imaginary Meme, Part One

1. Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?

I've had four kids, including a set of twins, via c-section. You don't put that much pressure on your guts without a little weewee squeaking out now and then.

 2. Who do you have a celebrity crush on now?

I've gotta agree with Jennifer Love Hewitt and go with Adam Levine from Maroon 5.

3. Would you date someone you met online?

 

Would. Have. Married him...

4. Do you wear underwear always?

 

Nope. Most of the time, I do. Not at the moment, though!

5. Do you hate yourself at times?

 

*snort* I can't count how many times I've attempted suicide. You don't do that because you like yourself.

7. Do you like dirty movies?

 

I've seen a few in my day, but most just make me laugh.

8. Could you believe Josha Ledet was voted off Idol?

 

I don't give a flying Fig Newton.

9. When was the last time that you bought a car?

 

August 6, 2010. Now I'm trying to get rid of it. :\

10. Have you ever been camping?

 

Oodles of times as a kid, and twice as a Girl Scout troop leader. I liked it much better as a kid. Lots fewer rules!

11. How many times a day do you go on facebook?

 

Sometimes none. Sometimes I never leave, technically. It all depends. I took a long break recently and didn't really miss it all that much. Surprised even me.

12. What was the last movie you saw in a theater?

 

The Pirates! Band of Misfits, with my 10yo daughter, Chloë. I wasn't too impressed (sorry, Hugh, I still love you) and spent the entire movie with my iPhone on my chest, lighting up my knitting.

13. Have you ever worried that you'd cut off a limb?

 

This meme is kind of pissing me off. Oh, wait, no, I was already pissed off. <<breathes deeply>> I don't think that's the sort of thing you worry about until you do it, unless you work a dangerous job.

14. Where did you get your last email from?

 

Freecycle. I'm getting rid of lots of good stuff today, and it feels good to be trimming the fat!

15. Favorite website?

 

Mine. ;)

16. Are you down with ghetto?

 

There's a time and, obviously, a place for that, but I try not to show that side of myself in public places!

17. Will the world end in fire or ice?

 

I don't know. Yes?

18. Do you believe in the afterlife?

 

Yes. Yes, I do.

19. Would you be upset if Facebook stopped working?

 

I'd be more surprised than upset, at this point in the game.

20. How did you start your blog?

 

I opened a Typepad account and started typing. That's pretty much how it goes, isn't it?

 

21. Have you felt that life is like being on a roller coaster?

 

Pshaw. Mine has, that's for damn sure.

22. Favorite year so far?

 

I take them as they come.

23. Do you consider yourself religious?

 

I consider myself spiritual.

24. How do you dress to impress?

 

With this body, it's very hard. I'm not fat anymore, but I have a lot of extra, loose skin. It's not a pretty picture, so there's not a lot I can dare to bare, and I can't wear skin-tight, either. Just like when I was really big, there's a lot of clever covering up going on. I do try to get away from wearing all black now, though. Mostly I focus on my best assets, which are my shoulders on up. (Thanks, Jafra!)

25. Have you ever been to Connecticut?

 

Just once. We spent the night before my grandpa's funeral there last year, which was fitting, because that's where he was raised.

26. Do you eat sushi?

 

Love it. Can't eat much of the rice, though, so it can be tricky.

27. Would you smoke pot providing there was no risk or driving involved?

 

I never have, so I don't know... but it is on my Bucket List.

28. What do you think of Idol Winner Phillip Phillips?

 

Again, I don't give a flying Fig Newton.  ReMEMber??!

29. Do you believe that animals have souls?

 

I suppose so, yeah.

30. Who did you last talk to? Share, if you dare.

 

I'm not really scared to tell you I talked to my husband. Should I be? <<looks around nervously>>

31. What is one thing that always annoys you?

 

My husband is the biggest instigator of my kids' shrieking and whining when we're out in public, because he'll pick on them and bug them to death. Seriously? It drives me crazy. You're almost 40, not 12. Grow up and act your age. (Home is a different story, of course. Go nuts.)

32. Do you believe in a higher being God?

 

Yes, I do.

33. Have you ever fallen in love with a neighbor?

 

No, but there were certainly crushes on a few when I was a kid...

34. Any plans for this weekend?

 

Well, we went out of town the last two weekends, so it's stinko that the Strawberry Festival in town is this weekend, and we have exactly zero dollars to go. Can't even afford the gas down there! Instead, we're cleaning house. (I'm taking a break, obvs.) Maybe we'll go to the beach tomorrow.

35. Would you like to rule your country, if you could?

 

Hell, no! I'm just not "leader material." I do think it's time for a woman to try her hand at it, though.

36. Do you like watching films about the nature of animals?

 

You're asking a Biologist this? As long as they're portrayed true to life, yes, I love them.

37. What's the difference between lust and/or lust?

 

I fail to understand the difference myself there, pal.

38. Do you have a soul?

 

Le sigh. I was right. This meme is annoying. Of course I do.

39. One best friend or many good friends?

 

I'd prefer both. Can I have both? 'Cause I do.

40. Do you believe in spontaneous combustion?

 

That's like asking me if I believe in Evolution. Both are completely observable, witnessed-by-human-eyes scientific phenomena. An emphatic "yes!"

 

Well. That was meh. Back to work.

 

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: Free Jail Pass Meme, Part The First

Link up here if you're thievering today!

Sunday Stealing: The Get Out of Jail Free Meme, Part One

1. When you're home alone, do you still close the door when you use the restroom?

I don't even close the door when I'm not home alone. So?

2. If you have to go grocery shopping, would you rather go alone or with someone?

It depends on my mood, but I love the company most of the time.

3. It's your best friends birthday, would you buy them a gift even though they didn't buy you one for yours?

Of course, if I found just the right thing and had the money. Keeping score is SUH lame.

4. You win the lottery. Lump sum or small payments over a period of time? Why?

It depends on how small the payments are. I'd have to think about it, depending on the terms.

5. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?

Loud. Loud. LOUD!!!

6. Are you a beach person or a snowy mountain person?

Do you even have to ask me? I'd be a mermaid if I could.

7. When do you brush your teeth?

Once a month, whether they need it or not.

8. Can you watch scary movies alone?

No way, dude. I am a chickenshit. I don't like to watch them at all. Freddy Kreuger still gives me nightmares!

9. Soft bed or firm? And in fantasy land, who's in it with you?

Cushy, squishy with Matt Damon, please. ;)

10. Would you rather stay home all day, or be out and about?

I'd rather be on the go all the time. I'm a nomadic sort.

11. What's one of your worst memories (that you are comfortable sharing)?

One I've shared many times: Holding my precious baby boy while he gasped his last breath. There's nothing worse.

12. Do you like to keep the peace or be confrontational?

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother...oh, sorry, I broke out into song there. Yeah, I'm pretty confrontational, depending on how recently I've taken my meds. Heh.

13. Are you more likely to be with a large group of people or a few close friends?

I'd rather be with a few close friends with whom I can be totally myself.

14. What are your plans for October?

Um, I'm still working on May here, but there will definitely be a hayride in October, if I have anything to say about it.

15. If money were not a problem, where would you like to live?

Aboard a houseboat, traveling the planet. That, or Jupiter. Somewhere near the big red spot.

16. What is your ideal profession?

I'd really like to be a family court judge. Someday...

17. Are you (or were you) close to your Mom and Dad?

I was very close to my mom when I was a little'un. She died when she was 33 and I was 7. I've been closer at times to my dad, but at the moment, I'm doubting I'll ever have to speak to that jackhole again.

18. What is one fear that you can't seem to overcome?

Mustard. Terrifying substance, that. If it touches me, I flip the script.

19. Are you good at math?

When I was in high school, I used to do Calculus to prove I wasn't drunk... when I really was. I love math. My kids hate it. Poo on them.

See you here next week. And what happened to Saturday 9, anyway. Did'y'all forget? Dang.

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The Semi-Charmed Meme, Parte Dos

Link up here if you're thieving today!

Sunday Stealing: The Semi Charmed Meme, Part Two

21. A better name for me would be:

The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane

22. I have a hard time understanding:

Why people can't accept the facts that are staring them right in the face but will believe things that can't be proven.

23. If I ever go back to school:

I'm going to go to law school, get my degree and study Family Law. Ultimately, I'd like to be a family court judge.

24. You know I like you if:

I lick your cheek. No, really, if my eyes are smiling when I'm talking to you, then there's your first clue.

25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be:

whoever supported me the most during whatever it was I was accomplishing.

26. If I could bring back a TV show for a reunion it would be:

Friends.

27. Take my advice, never:

take my advice.

28. My ideal breakfast is:

Diet Coke or Diet Mt. Dew, or a really good protein shake or smoothie. Low carb, sugar-free, of course.

29. A song I love, but do not own is:

"I'm Going Down" by Mary J. Blige is, oddly, the first thing that came to mind. When I was out of town 11 years ago, someone (and I think I know who, but he won't admit it) got into my apartment and stole all my R&B CDs. So I used to own that track, but alas, it's gone now.

30. If you visit my hometown, I'd suggest:

a visit to Beaver Lake Nature Center would definitely be in order, followed by the B'ville Diner. And not much else, as I recall.

31. If I could meet a couple of my blog buddies, I'd include:

Gloria, who rarely blogs anymore but is now my FB buddy, Mrs. 4444 from Half Past Kissin' Time, and Nicole from I think ... therefore I blog, although she was actually my friend online before we both started blogging... and Harriet. Who woudn't want to meet her?

32. Why won’t people:

stop smoking around children? And recycle? And accept people of other races/colors/ethnicities as their equals? And just be nice for the sake of being nice? And stop turning around in my driveway???

33. If you spend the night at my house:

be aware that 7yo Sophia gets up at night, wanders around and gets into things. Including your things.

34. I’d stop everything for:

saving the life of a child. Or almost anyone's, but you know, that's less poignant.

35. The world could do without:

those stupid Ernest Goes to... movies.

36. The last time I got drunk I:

was at The Melting Pot with three girlfriends and got very silly! I don't know if I can show my face in front of a few servers now...hee.

37. My favorite blonde is:

my OLDer sister, Stacey Jean. ♥

38. Paper clips are more useful than:

this question, really.

39. If I do anything well, it’s:

be obnoxious, annoying, and wholly neurotic.

40. And by the way:

it's after 11 PM and all three of my kids are STILL UP. This day didn't go the way I planned it at all. But when do they?

Happy new week, y'all!

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The OC 25 Meme

Link up here if you're playing along today! Happy Easter/Passover to all who celebrate!

Sunday Stealing: The OC 25 Meme

1. What is your origin of your first name? What about any nicknames?

My mom just randomly came up with it. I was supposed to be "Eleanor" after my dad's mom, or "Clayton" if I was a boy, but when my dad wasn't in the room, my mom quickly put down "Melanie" instead. Hee! I've come to appreciate that, although my elementary school BFF was Eleanor, so of course I had wanted that to be my name then. My middle name is Ann, so my dad always called me "Mellie Ann," which my wonderful older sister changed to "Smellyann" at some point. And there you have it.

2. Have you any claims to fame?

Apparently, I'm meant to be a writer. In college, I came in second (or third?) in a huge poetry contest - you've probably seen the ads for it - and my published poem was analyzed in the front of the anthology in which it appeared. I was supposed to have my boys' and my story published in the Chicken Soup for the Twins Soul book, but apparently they decided it was too sad and took it out later on, which is fine with me. And more recently, my "Works for Me Wednesday" pets edition blahg post was published in a book called That Works For Me! or something like that; I had to give the proper permissions and all that. I've always been a pretty decent writer and thought I've had more poetry and maybe a novel rattling around in there, but I haven't been able to get started. We'll see if that ever comes to fruition.

3. If you were famous, how would you introduce yourself to someone who had never heard of you?

The same way I do now, I suppose: I'd have the head of my huge entourage do it. Heh.

4. Which of your country's achievements do you hold in highest regard?

Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation couldn't have come soon enough; I think it just edges out winning the American Revolution. JMHO

5. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

First, I wanted to be a teacher and librarian. As I grew up, though, I wanted to be a marine biologist. And until I got married, I was one. For a brief time, I was livin' the dream I grew up having. Now, I'm happier things worked out this way. I wouldn't change a thing, except for maybe a fatter wallet..

6. What was your most prized possession as a child? Do you still have it?

It was my red-and-white stuffed puppy dog named Snowflake, who eventually was missing an ear. The other ear had holly leaves and berries on it. I loved that puppy. I don't know what happened to her.

7. What would you change about yourself, if you could?

Pfft. What wouldn't I? That would be a shorter list. I would take away the Bi-Polar Disorder from which I suffer (as do those around me, I'm afraid), and I would give myself more strength of character. People who know the sorts of things I've been through always tell me what a strong person I am, but I don't feel that way. I feel like a weak, meek little mouse. My therapist tells me I am progressing though - she told me recently that I was "individuating," since I am no longer seeking my father's approval. I laughed and said it was high-time at 35, but she says she sees people much older than I am who haven't gotten that far and wow! I am babbling! Anyway, physically, I'd get my plastics to remove the skin I have hanging around (literally) after my 200+-lb weight loss.

8. What are you obsessed with?

Yarn. Picking at myself. My husband's nuts. Jafra. Couponing. And more yarn.

9. What is your greatest achievement so far, or the high point of your career?

Oh, I've received my fair share of academic accolades, but my proudest achievement was winning "Class Giggler" in 3rd grade. I still have the certificate!

10. When/where were you happiest?

January 2, 2001: The day we eloped was the most blissful day in my life. I'll never, ever forget that high.

11. And the lowest point in your life thus far?

March 25, 2003: The day I held my older twin son as he shuddered taking his last breath. Nothing is worse than outliving your child.

12. What was the best decision you ever made?

Marrying Rob! He is so good for, and to, me. We both have our share of shortcomings, but I definitely ended up with the better end of the deal. God knew what he was doing when he brought me this man.

13. If you have any body modifications, which was most painful, or which do you regret the most? If you haven't got any, do you have any planned, or would you ever consider getting any?

Other than four piercings in each ear, I have a nose ring. So that was the most painful. I haven't fully decided on getting a tattoo, but if I do, it'll be a joint one with Rob, honoring our four children together.

14. What is the most idiotic thing you have ever done while intoxicated?

We don't have to go there, do we? Let's not. Maybe the next time I get that intoxicated, which will be never, I'll share that story with y'all. ;) Let's just say I'll probably never drink Goldschläger again!

15. What is your favorite joke?

I am so terrible at remembering things like jokes and movie quotes. Asking me to tell a joke is putting me on the spot. I like stupid jokes anyway, like this one:

Knock Knock?

Who's there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

I didn't know you could yodel!

16. What is the coolest/most impressive thing you own?

You mean aside from my iPhone? (You know I love that dang thing.) Okay, let me think on it a minute... probably the Britto. We bought a limited edition giclée of his called Deep Night Romance on our Mediterranean cruise, and it sums up our love for each other beautifully.

17. When did you last cry, and why?

I cried a little bit last night, thinking about this coming Monday. It'll be the 28th anniversary of my mom's death, and I always get a little weepy.

18. What's the best piece of advice you've ever had?

Surprisingly, it came from my dad. I'll paraphrase: "Don't let anyone rob you of your joy."

19. Similarly, what's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for you?

A semi-anonymous benefactor helped me pay for my college degree, the day I was going to get kicked out for non-payment of my classes. Biggest relief of my life!

20. Have you any vices?

I'm too self-indulgent.

21. Do you regret anything?

No regrets. I live for today, and tomorrow. There are things I wish I'd done differently, but I didn't, and I have learned and grown from them.

22. What is the best invention ever?

Hello?! The iPhone! lol

23. How would you describe your relationship with your family?

I have a very small living family. My mom is gone, my dad and I aren't speaking at the moment, and my sister and I are as close as we can possibly be from a distance. I love that broad! ♥

24. Who is your biggest inspiration?

Anyone with deep emotional fortitude, who can come through a tragedy and not completely fall to pieces. Well, falling to pieces isn't the thing, but someone who can pick up those pieces and make life work again - that's inspiring to me.

25. What are you going to do when you've finished Sunday Stealing?

Work on my April/May Jafra newsletter, a week later than I'd planned. Oops.

Happy Easter!

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The April No Fools' Meme

Linky-link is here! Join, won't you?

 Sunday Stealing: The April No Fools' Meme

1. What was the last clothing item that you bought?

 Our Easter outfits, for all five of us.

2. If you could stay one age forever, what age would you choose?

 

35 isn't bad. If I could get the skin surgery I need, I guess I'd choose 35!

3. When you say “lol”, are you really laughing?

At least on the inside, sure. I'm a giggler, though, so I probably am outwardly as well.

4. What is the most interesting thing you’ve done in the past year?

Shoot, just the other day, we finally drove up and found the wild ponies of Chincoteague/Assateague... that was pretty cool. I'll be posting about that later.

5. If you started a business, what would it be?

 

Well, I did start a business, a bakery. I gave it up to pursue my other business, selling the incredible Jafra skin care, which I've been doing over 13 years now and still love it!

6. Do your friends/family/coworkers know about your blog?

Most people do, yeah. They can't help but know; it's automatically linked to Facebook when I publish a post.

7. How long does it take you to write an average blog post?

It completely varies, depending on what I'm writing and how photo-heavy it is. If I had to venture a guess for the average, though, I'd say an hour.

8. How do you keep up with the blogs you follow?

Well, theoretically, in Google Reader, but I'm so behind. I probably have a couple two-three thousand posts to catch up on by now.

9. What is your bedtime? Is sex always involved?

*snort* No, but that's nunya! My bedtime is whenever I get tired. No set time.

10. Introvert or extrovert?

I'm the former.

11. What is your biggest fear?

Losing another one of my children. And mustard.

12. What is the best job you ever had?

Working at the dive shop on Key Biscayne, Florida. It was just fun times, always. Lots of close runners-up, though!

13. Dog person/cat person/both/neither?

I used to be strictly a dog person/cat hater until I got my then-bf a cat. Now I'm both. They're lovely pets, kitties.

14. If you had $1,000 to spend any way you wanted, what would you do with it?

If I could be boring and spend it on bills, I would. If I had to be frivolous, I'd go on a small trip or buy a bunch of premium yarn. Love my yarns!

15. How do you "dress your toast"?

Either butter (real) or cream cheese, preferably whipped.

16.  How do you feel about snow?

I hate it with a passion.

17.  What was the worst job you ever had?

Hmm... I can't really say I've had a bad job. I've enjoyed every job I've ever had, more or less.

18.  What song can you not stop listening to?

Well, I was all about Adele, but they're way overplaying her songs now. Right now I'm liking Rihanna's "Talk That Talk," especially the hook. And I love Wiz Khalifa's "Young, Wild and Free" as well.

19. Love your name or hate it?

Growing up, I hated Melanie, because I couldn't stand when people called me Mel. Now I don't mind it when friends do it, but when people I barely know call me Mel, it pisses me off. I love my name now, but still not the nickname!

20. How did you choose your blog/twitter handle?

Well, they're the same (how'd you know?), and it's the childhood nick bestowed upon me by my loving older sister. I own it, though. I am Smellyann. LOL

Have a great week, y'all!

Fin.

P.S. Typepad is being funky with the posts again, so if this gets all weird when I hit "publish," 'tis not my fault! Things are moving around and changing colours, and it's driving me nucking futs!

Sunday Stealing: The Last March Meme

Link up here if you're stealing today - or stalling, as I originally typed...

1.) Which TV character do you think you are most like?

Dexter. Except I don't actually kill people. I get him, though.

2) What time do you go to bed?

Whenever. Sometimes I don't. Normal sleep schedules have eluded me since birth. My parents used to stick me in my crib in the basement because I'd be up all night...



3) What was the last meal you made from scratch?

Pasta dishes last weekend for our Johnsonville Italian Sausage House Party. A lasagna, some penne regato w/, and some pesto rigatoni. I didn't eat any of it - no four-legged creatures for me.



4) What is your favorite type of music?

I like all kinds, but I'm partial to anything that's highly sing-along-able, like Top 40 music. Kinda lame, but I own it.



5) In what position do you sleep?

If I'm on the couch, which is often, on my back or side. If I'm bed, which is rare, on my tummy, curled around my gigantic teddy bear from Hubs.

6) What is your first memory?

I'm 2½ or 3, running, squealing happily with my arms in the air, running from my bedroom to my Mommy down the hall.

7) What is your least favorite smell?

 

 ... 

The paper mill in Panama City, Florida. Ugh. Nastay. Cigarette smoke is a very close second.

 

8) It's your round at the pub and your friends asked you to surprise them. What drink would you buy and why?

 

Everyone would get a shot of Goldschläger, because that's "my" drink, even though I can no longer stand it. I have a story

9) What was the last thing you read/watched that made you cry?

My surviving twin made a birthday video for his brother (the 9th anniversary of his death is today, so I'm feeling a little morose, sorry). I watched it with my therapist, and we both cried.

 

10) They say that you learn something new every day. What was the last thing you have learned?

Sophia was reading in her animal book tonight and told me that an electric eel could power five light bulbs. Of course, she didn't give wattage or any of that information, so it's incomplete knowledge. I'll have to read up on that. ;)

11) Which Literary love interests would you snog, marry and avoid?

Pass. Too much thinking involved in that question. I'd be Jane Eyre and marry Mr. Rochester, though.

 

12) What is your oldest memory?

Pretty sure we covered that six questions ago. I know you're old, but my memory isn't that bad, yet...

13) Paperback, Hardback or Kindle? Which of these is your favorite reading format and why?

Any of the above, although I prefer a hardcover most, and one that I can lie around in bed and read all night and all day. The hard covers just seem more authentic, don't they?

 

14) If you could bring back any canceled TV series for another run what would you pick and why?

The original Dukes of Hazzard, because hello, they were hot. I don't care if I was in my single-digit years. I knew that Bo Duke was ca-yute!

15) Paperback, Hardback or Kindle?

Why are you fucking with me? I told you it wasn't a great day. Ask me 1,000 questions, but so help me God, if you repeat another one, I'll beat your ass. Oh, wait, that's the end. Okay, well, then, let's walk away from this unscathed, shall we?

 

 Fin.

P.S. Who calls it a "hardback," anyway? Not I, said the fly.  Cheers.

P.P.S. I don't know what's going on with these crazy changes when I post, but I'm not going to spend another ½-hour trying to fix it like I did last night! Deal. ;)

Sunday Stealing: The Partial Head Meme

Link up here if you're playing along today!

Sunday Stealing: The Her Head Is Part Missing Meme

1. What is your most annoying habit?

I have a lot of annoying habits, like going up three octaves when I'm excited about something... and I'm just obnoxious in general. It would be had to say what is the most annoying! (I'd ask Hubs, but he's asleep.)

 

2. What habit would you change of your partners? (come on no-one is perfect!) [Editor's note: Not only does it assume you have A partner, but it is written as though you have multiple ones. If you do not currently have a partner or many partners, simply tell us about your last one. BW]

 

Hee. Okay. So I would change his habit of ending a sentence with "with." As in, "Are you coming with? Can I go with?" Ugh. SO irritating and grating on my ears!

 

3. Horrors or Chick Flicks?

 

Oh, easy, since I am a wussy weenie girl. Chick Flicks.

 

4. What is the most outrageous thing you have done in the back row of the movies?

 

Well. You know. There's a certain thing that the back row of the movies is specifically for doing, isn't it...?!

 

5. When have you lied to get a job?

 

Never. Ever. Haven't needed to lie!

 

6. What one thing is on your list to do before you hit 30, 40, 50 or whatever significant birthday is next?

 

I better get my tummy tuck before I turn 40 in five years!

 

7. Classic or modern films and why?

 

Hmm. I have to say I prefer modern films, just because there are so many incredible advancements made in cinematography... which isn't to discount the awesomeness of the classics at all. I mean, c'mon, though. Pixar.

  

8. If you were a vampire who would be the first person you would bite?

 

Well, you, duh.

 

9. If you had the power to make one thing better, what would it be?

 

I would eradicate the scourge that is tobacco.

 

10. What makes a great blog?

 

Apparently I don't know, since my consistent readership hovers around a dozen people. Don't ask me!

 

11. What was the inspiration that brought your blog to the blogosphere?

 

I needed an outlet for the things I wanted to say (which often and mostly consists of mundanity, but hey, twelve people like it.)

 

12. What easily ticks you off (puts you in a bad mood quickly)?

 

Truthfully? Opening my windows for fresh air, be they in the house or the car, and getting an instead headache from someone's cigarette smoking.  Pisses me off royally. And then they rant about their rights. Eff that noise.

 

13. How many children do you have?

 

Three here. One in heaven.

 

14. Is there anything you have ever regretted writing on your blog?

 

Just one post, which cost me a friendship I wanted to save. On the other hand, it was probably inevitable, so no. No.

 

15. What’s your favorite blog post you have written this year so far?

 

The one about Jim, my former boss. Wait, was that this year? They blend together so seamlessly, the years, you know...

 

16. Do you ever enter other bloggers competitions, and have you ever been lucky?

 

Like, contests and giveaways, that sort of thing? Yes, I've won a few things, like a game, and a Flip camera, amongst other things.

 

17.If you could be anyone else for the day, who would you choose and why?

 

Ghandi. I appreciate everything for which he stood. Or sat, as it were.

 

18. If you could time travel to any period of history what era would you visit?

 

I'd go find out which came first, the chicken or the egg. Okay, that was lame. I'd love to wear a flapper dress and do the Charleston in the Roaring Twenties!

 

19. If you had to be genetically modified, would you rather have a third arm, a third leg, a second head or some other modification???

 

If I had to have a duplication, I could always use another hand. (I'd have said, "It would be nice to be multi-orgasmic," but that would've been TMI. Oh. Wait.)

  

20. Which Disney character can you most relate to?

 

Dory from Finding Nemo. Isn't it obvious?

 

Have a splendiferous week, y'all!

 

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The Not My Year Meme

Link up here if it's not your year, either!

Sunday Stealing: The Not My Year Meme

1. Are you in a job that you truly enjoy?

I'm a stay-home homeschooling mom of three. I damn well better be, huh?

2. If you could do any job in the world what would it be?

I'd be a family court judge. And I hope to be, one day...

3. If you could be a character in a novel who would you be?

I'd be Tom Sawyer. What an imp! I like mischief as much as the next kid, you know?

4. When it comes to spending time with those you love, do you think it should be about quality or quantity?

Both count, but definitely quality over quantity. If you're not really present with each other, what's the point?

5. Is there a job/career you wanted but realized you couldn’t possibly do for one reason or another?

Pre-marriage and babies, I was a marine biologist. I was working with the pre-eminent scientist in our field (elasmobranch feeding ecomorphology, or in layman's terms, shark/skate/ray feeding behavioral ecology). A year and a half into my Ph.D., I realized I didn't have the passion to pursue that and be at sea half the year and then, when I was home, spend all my time stressing over grants and funding for research, etc. I wanted to be a wife and mom, and I didn't want to give up those desires, no matter how much I loved being a Biologist. And I did. And I still do... but. I love this so much more.

6. If you could live anywhere in the world or out of this world where would you live?

Oh, I'm so glad you added that last part. I'd love to live on Jupiter, assuming it were hospitable to humans. It's my favorite of our planets. (What, doesn't everyone have a favorite planet?)

7. Where would you most like to visit and with whom?

Everywhere I've never been, with Hubs and the trio of offspring we're raising.

8. Which skill would you like to learn?

Oh, gosh. I want to learn to spin my own yarn. And dye it. I want to learn to relax and meditate. I want to learn to practice self-patience and -forgiveness. I'd like to be fluent in every language, but at least five. It would be fun to be able to juggle while riding a unicycle... okay, now I'm getting carried away.

9. What made you laugh today?

A high school friend's Facebook status update: "Miracle Whip is actually tweeting on Twitter. What has the world come to when condiments are reminding us to set our clocks ahead?"

10. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?

Cleaning, organizing, and doing.

11. What is your sign and do you believe in horoscopes etc?

I'm a Virgo, and to the extent that it's fun. I fit the typical Virgo profile to a "T," but I don't go all nutso about it.

12. If you could change one thing about your life thus far, what would it be?

Many things... like, if I had known then what I know now, I would have seriously reconsidered going to the University of Miami, where top students like me struggled financially and football players were treated like gods, and perhaps gone to one of the several schools offering me a full, free ride instead.

13. If there was one charity you could give a huge contribution to, which charity would it be and why?

Heifer International. I think it's an awesome program.

14. Should smoking be legal?

No fecking way. Ugh. Don't even get me started.

15. What are your views on the smoking ban in public places?

Fully supportive - what'd I just say?!

16. Why do you blog?

To answer questions for your total entertainment, edification, and... okay, for my own amusement, too. And other things, but I've already answered this question eleventeen times before now.

17. Do you have a favorite author?

I'm not sure, but Jodi Picoult would definitely be near the top of the list, along with Elizabeth Zimmermann.

18. Can you play any musical instruments?

After my mom died, I learnt to play the organ/piano, which she also played. And my vocal chords. But I've always had a terrible ability to sight read music, so I didn't go very far with the keyboard. I did sing all through high school, and I was going to sing in college, too, but I got mono right before my audition, and then I got stage fright. I hate auditioning. Just give me the part I want and we'll go from there. Hee. 

19. What would your ideal car be?

I would love to zip around in a cute little Mazda Miata convertible, or a Smart for Two convertible. Red, of course. Red cars go faster.

20. Describe yourself in one short sentence.

I am so weird.

21. What do you look for in a spouse/other half?

A penis, for starters. That's a must. He's gotta make me laugh and make me think, even better if he can do them both at once. Everything else ... let's just say I got so lucky with Rob. He definitely got the short end of the marital stick! ;)

22. Worst meal you’ve had?

Chicken a la king, when I was, like, five. I'd probably love it now, though I'm too scared to attempt another go.

23. What do you do to relax in the evening?

Rob.

24. Do you get along with your siblings?

I have one full sister 17 months older, and yes, we are very close. Always have been. I have a much-older half-sister whom I've never met, and two former step-sisters with whom I no longer have a relationship.

25. Do you have any regrets?

Everytime I start painting my nails, I instantly regret not going pee first.

Have a great week, y'all!

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The Eve Was Framed Meme

Link up here if you're a dirty, dirty meme'er like me.

Cheers to all of us thieves!

 

1. Why is your favorite color your favorite?

It's the color of the clear sea in the medium depths of the Caribbean, the most beautiful color I've ever seen, and reminds me of what I love in the world.

 

2. Do you prefer dogs or cats or do you just hate animals, and want to kill baby seals?

That question made me snort! I prefer itty bitty little puppy doggies, but I love all animals. Even the ugly ones.

 

3. How much time do you spend on the computer?

Six.

 

4. Not including porn, what do you do on the computer?

This meme is cheeky, eh? I do everything, a little of this, a little of that, a little of s'more stuff... nunya, mostly.

 

5. Are you a clock watcher?

Rarely. Only if I'm bored, which I try not to be.

 

6. What did you look for in a partner?

Intelligence and a good sense of humor, decency and kindness, love and passion.... and obviously not height. Sorry, baby. Hee.

 

7. What type of clothing do you prefer?

Whatever I look good in and disguises my 7-to-10-year-old baby belly!

 

8. What is your favorite type of music?

I can't lie. I like my Pop music best. I know it's lame, but it's so... singalongable, mostly!

 

9. Do you believe in the paranormal, ghosts, ESP, levitation, spoon bending?

Not right now, nope.

 

10. The most important question: Do you have a innie or outie belly button?

I've got a way-the-hell-innie.

 

11. What kind of car do you drive?

C'mon, I've got three kiddos. A minivan. 2010 Honda Odyssey. I've had it a year and a half, and I still miss my old van.

 

12. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun or The Boys Are Back in Town?

 

The former!

 

13. Camping or the Ritz?

 

As much as I love the great outdoors, I'm more at home in a fancy hotel.

 

14. What food are you craving RIGHT NOW . . . did you eat it?

 

I don't know, but no, because whatever it is, we don't have it. Oberweis cottage cheese, I think. It's the best!

 

15. The most thrilling place you've ever visited. Why?

 

Oh, gosh. I'm hard-pressed... Okay. Our 2008 Mediterranean cruise was pretty awesome. I love culture, I love travel, I love being on the water... and I was with my darling husband. The only downside about that trip was that I was still mighty big (I had my surgery the following January), and we couldn't do a few of the excursions we'd planned because of my size.

  

16. If you could slip into the skin of one public figure--celebrity, artist,--who would it be?

 

Does Matt Damon's wife count? Then he could slip into my skin. Did I just say that?

 

17. Look up from your computer. What do you see first?

The Britto we bought on the aforementioned cruise!

 

18. Sum up your philosophy of life in one sentence. You can borrow it from someone else, if you'd like.

You take the good, you take the bad, you take it all, and there you have the facts of life, oh, the facts of life... sorry. I'm in a singing mood.

 

19. Name the one thing you just don't understand about kids today.

No. The kids, I get. It's their parents I don't often get!

 

20. If you could steal one work of art from a museum or gallery, which would it be?

 

Dalí's The Persistence of Memory has always captivated me.

 

Have a stellar week, kids!

 

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The Censored Meme

Link up here if you played along today!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Where are you from and where do you live now?

I'm from New York and I'm now in Virginia, by way of South Carolina, Florida, and then Guam.

 

2. Favorite childhood story/book/film?

 

E.T. I remember going when I was a kid, when it was first out.

 

3. If you could change gender for a day what would you do?

Pee standing up. Play with my weiner - a LOT. And go into men's rooms and dressing rooms and stare. Hey, I like looking at men naked. I'm a hot-blooded straight woman, after all.

 

4. Do you feel your family is complete or would you like more/some children?

Well, neither of us is physically capable of having more children, but one day if we had the space for it, I'd consider fostering-to-adopt. I'd love a roomful of babies, but... I don't think it's in the cards.

 

5. What do you do/Where do you work and do you enjoy it?

I homeschool my three children, and I love it, but it's definitely a challenge!

 

6. Which three words do you think sum you up?

Smart. Funny. Nutty.

 

7. If you were a fairy what magical powers would you possess?

I'd definitely be able to fly, I'd do the whole bibbity-bobbity-boo-here are your three wishes thing, and I'd be smokin' hot. Think Tinkerbell, not the three plump fairies who raised The Sleeping Beauty. Oh, that's not a power? I don't care.

 

8. If you were invisible, where would you go and what would you do? Why?

Men's dressing rooms, just like in #3. Hot-blooded straight woman, just like I said. Quit making me say it.

 

9. What song can’t you listen to without crying?

"The Day You Gave Me a Son" by Babyface, and more recently, "Someone Like You" by Adele.

 

10. Which book changed your life – or at least made you think a lot?

Well, a lot of books make me think, but Evergreen by Belva Plain has always been my favorite. I really can't explain why. It was just powerful to me when I first read it as a teenager.

 

11. Why do you blog?

Sometimes, because I have something to say. Sometimes, because I don't, but I have things I need to get out, and starting a post helps open that door. And sometimes, I just want to share what's going on with us, which is the main reason I started this thing.

 

12. What is your top ‘me-time’ tip?

Earbuds. Headphones. Whatever you use. Tune out somehow and go into your own world.

 

13. What can’t you live without?

Aside from my family? My iPhone, and the Interwebs. I love them!

 

14. Which of all your blog posts are you most proud of and why?

The one where I wrote an open letter to my grandfather, and the one about my father-figure, my former boss, which I recently wrote. It touched me to write those, and I could tell they touched some of the people who read them.

 

15. Have you ever met a famous person? Who and where?

The humor writer, Dave Barry. He came into the store where I worked in college, all the time. I waited on him often. He was funny and nerdy, just like you'd expect.

 

16. When did you last have a full nights sleep?

A night or two ago, maybe three. I don't know. I don't sleep well. Naps help.

 

17. What would you think is harder: Going to work or staying at home with children?

Having only ever stayed home with my children, I would have to say going to work and missing out on things that you don't really want to miss.

 

18. What are you doing for Easter?

Haven't even thought about it yet.

 

19. What is your favorite drink?

Alcoholic - a good Mai Tai, Rumrunner or Piña Colada. Non-alcoholic - Diet Coke.

 

20. Do you play any sports?

I'm like the least athletic person you'll ever meet, so no. I keep planning on starting to run, though, but... so far I haven't. No excuses, I'm just lazy.

 

21. What is your most embarrassing moment?

Seventh grade. I wet my pants, in the middle of the school day. Not a great age for that. The popular kids noticed and laughed. It was mortifying.

 

22. How clever are you?

Six.

23. Name a new favorite TV show?

Smash, on NBC. I watch it online after it airs, since we don't have TV service.

 

24. Any guilty pleasures?

Sure. I shouldn't eat chocolate, but I do. I shouldn't take as much "me time" as I do.  I take advantage of my husband's understanding and generosity sometimes, but I try to make sure he knows I appreciate everything he does for me.

25. If you could have chosen your own name, what would it be?

I used to hate my name, Melanie, but now I really love it. I would've named me Melanie Penelope, instead of Ann, though. I'm silly and I like lots of syllables.

26. Whom do you most admire in life, and why?

Single parents who manage to make it work and raise their children into decent adults. I don't know that I could. I have a lot of respect for that.

 

27. What is your most treasured possession?

My mom's jewelry box. My dad gave it to me last year. Not "the good stuff," my older sister got that. I got the costume jewelry. I remember her wearing some of the pieces. Like the necklaces. I remember her bending down and those necklaces being in my face. She died when I was seven, so those are powerful jolts of memory.

28. Tell your favorite funny joke…

I'm really not good with remembering jokes. That's my husband's forte. I rather tell my own, be my own funny.

29. What is your biggest fear in life?

Losing another one of my children. One of my twin boys died almost nine years ago. It wrecked my psyche. If it happened again... I don't know that I could survive that.

30. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? What does it remind you of?

 

Peanut Butter and Chocolate. It reminds me of when I worked at a sundae shop on St. Pete Beach, and I ate entirely too much of it, because it was gourmet and good. Vanilla and butter pecan remind me of my grandpa. They were his favorites, and he was very fond of ice cream. He always claimed to have taught me how to eat it!

 

Have a lovely week, darlings.

 

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The 99'er Meme, Part The Last

Link up here if you're playing along today. Hopefully it won't eat my entry, like it did for Saturday 9, when I was all the way finished... so frustrating. Anyway, here we go:

Cheers to all of us thieves!

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

I'm no authority. As long as both (all?) parties are happy, that's what counts.

77) How did someone win your heart?

I met my husband online. I knew from his first email that he was The One. I could tell he was smart, funny, and had ambition, for starters. And he responded to my wacky profile, which was insane, so he had to be a good catch, right?

78) In your world, what brings on more creativity?

Inspiration from various sources, whether it be others' creations, nature, patterns, my own weird mind, my children... all can lead to creative spurts from me.

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Marrying that guy in #77 eleven years ago.

80) Why did you break up with your last ex?

We had a horrible relationship anyway, but when he broke my two front teeth, that was the end.

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Nothing. I want to be eaten by sharks.

82) What is your favorite word?

Pupitre - it's Spanish for "student desk."

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: delusional.

The Bitch From Hell, aka my ex-stepmother.

84) What is a saying you use a lot?

Lately, it's "awesomesauce," although I'm trying to cut back.

85) Are you watching Idol this season? If yes, how do you like it?

Nope. We don't get TV service. Makes it hard to get credit on Viggle!

86) Were you surprised that House got canceled?

House got canceled?

87) What is your current desktop picture?

LOL... a really pretty skein of yarn, in my favorite shades of bluish-greens...

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

See #83. ;)

89) What would be a question where you'd not tell the truth?

Well, answering that would already give too much away, wouldn't it? So I plead the fifth.

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by WEEPING ANGELS. The Weeping Angles aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What would you do?

That's just too weird. I would probably decide I was really still asleep.

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

I can fly! (I've always believed I could; I dream it all the time...)

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

That whole running to the courthouse to elope before it closed episode was breathtakingly wonderful. I'd do that again and again and again.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Can I erase ages 7-17? If not, then when my son died. Well, I would erase a whole host of bad experiences, but pretty much nothing tops saying good-bye to your own child forever.

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. (let's say that you are both single and available) Who might it be?

Y'all know I'm going to say Eric Clapton, right?!

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Australia. I'm already packed.

96) Do you have any relatives or friends in jail?

I don't know anyone in jail, thankfully.

97) Who's winning the U.S. Republican presidential nomination? Why?

I don't know, but God help us all if it's Newt.

98) Who's winning the next U.S. Presidential election?

I wouldn't mind a repeat of the last election. I don't know, though, I don't seem to have much company amongst my, well, my Facebook friends, at least! haha

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

I would implore them to take care of this beautiful planet we've been given. Some say it's already too late, and it may well be, but if every single person made an effort, maybe we could reverse some of the damage and stop further progression toward disaster.

Are you listening??!

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The 99'er Meme, Part The Third

Link up here if you're playing along late this week(end), like I am.

Cheers to all of us thieves!

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
 

Yeah. Unless they apologize. Then I'm easily forgiving.

  

52) What's your astrological sign? 

 

Virgo. Unless we're talking Chinese, and then I'm a Dragon.

  

53) Do you save money for anything? What?

 

Spending.

 

54) What's the last thing you purchased?

Cat litter. Whew, we were desperate. Four cats who all prefer ONE box? Yick.

 

55) Have you ever had a relationship that you realized was lust not love?

Of course. I'm a hot-blooded American female. ;)

 

56) In a relationship?

That is not a complete sentence. Are you asking if I'm in one now? If so, yes, I'm on my dozenth year of marriage. Is dozenth a word?

 

57) How many relationships have you had?

Too many to count. See my answer to #55.

 

58) What do you want to tell us about your day?

I took my nearly-9yo son out with me to run errands, including shipping a bunch of boxes at the post office (using the automated machine), 7-11 for Diet Coke and a reward snack for him (and to pick out something for his sisters, too), and the grocery store for the afore-mentioned cat litter. He was a perfect little gentleman: without asking, he held open the P.O. door for me when my arms were full of packages, and since had my keys and likes to lock and unlock the van doors, he did so and then opened my driver's door for me, just because. I was very touched and impressed. He's so sweet! ♥ (And he put a lot of thought into what his sisters would enjoy, too.)

 

59) Where were you yesterday?

I'm going to answer this as if "yesterday" was Saturday, so I'll tell you that. In the morning, my daughters and I went to a Girl Scout event wherein they learnt, on real sewing machines (something I've been wanting to do but haven't yet...) how to make drawstring bags. The bags will be given to Operation Smile and filled before being sent to cleft palate and other oral surgery patients overseas.

 

Then we dropped off a couple Valentine's Day cards I had made for some nearby friends (we were far-ish from home) before stopping at a few stores to play with the iPhone (and Droid?) apps CheckPoints and shopkick, where you get points and then rewards for checking into stores and scanning the designated products. It's fun and addicting. And me like prizey.

 

(If you're into TV and want rewards for checking into TV shows, check out Viggle as well. Even if you don't watch TV, like me, you can still rack up quite a lot of points in other ways, so it's worth having.)

 

60) Is there anything interesting within 10 feet of you?

A mirror. No, for serious, there's tons of interesting things, in my opinion. There's the Britto, Deep Night Romance, that we bought on our Mediterranean cruise 3½ years ago, which speaks volumes about my hubs' and my love for each other. Then there's Hubs himself, who is a wonder of wonders. I'd go on, but you're practically snoring and drooling over there, so never mind for now.

 

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

No, and 9 times out of 10, I won't be. I love bare feet.

62) What's your favorite animal?

Sharks, but my favorite land animal and a close second are elephants. I've always been fascinated by elephants.

 

 

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I wish I knew. I mean, I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

64) Where is your best friend?

Sleeping on the couch 5' away.

65) How did you end your last relationship end?

We lived together. We got in a fight. He shoved me into a bookshelf, breaking my two front teeth. I kicked him out. The end. (Wow, I made a long story short, imagine that!)

66) What is your heritage?

I'm 2/3 German/Pennsylvania Dutch, with some English and Hungarian, and I'm sure a smidge of "mutt."

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

I believe I was actually sound asleep for once. Rare for me, at that hour. I was tonight, too, but I woke up wide awake at 0200 (it's 0311 now) and that was it. Maybe I'll sleep more later, maybe not. I sure hope so.

68) What's new?

I can't really answer that. If this is your first time here, then everything is new. If not, you pretty much know everything. I got the Girl Scout cookies my girls have sold so far today, and so I'm like a mother bird sitting on her nest now, protecting them from the snack-thieving Sophia. I guess that's news? LOL

69) What is the key to seduction?

Leaving more to the imagination than is revealed, at least at first...

70) What was the weirdest thing that happened to you this week??

My usually-grumpy psychopharmacologist, who prescribes my bipolar and anxiety disorder meds, smiled genuinely at me after I complemented him on his nice sweater. I nearly fell over from the shock.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Get fired.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

(a) I'd tell some people, but I wouldn't have it, like, emblazoned on a t-shirt.

(b) I'd try like hell to get to Australia and Japan, and finish up as much else on my bucket list as I could.

(c) No. I've never been afraid of death. Honestly, I'd be excited about seeing my mommy and my baby boy again.

73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.

F**k you. Oh, are you asking me to pick? Wow. That's a tough one. Um, love, I guess. I'd rather be madly in love and always suspicious than completely trusting and have someone betray that. So, love.

74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Lots of songs do, but the first one that comes to mind is "Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega. Can't help but dance!

75) Who has your cell phone number (other than family)?

Half of North America, it seems like. Lots of people. LOOOOTS of people. (We don't have a home phone line, so it's all I have.)

Well, I'm off to 7-11 to get me another Diet Coke. Yes, I realize it's the midding hours, but I'm fairly well immune to the caffiene-keeping-me-awake properties of the stuff by now. If I'm meant to sleep, I will, worry not.

And with that -

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The 99'er Meme, Part The Second

Link up here if you're playing along this weekend!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

26) Are you happy with the person you've become?

Starting off with a bang, aren't we? Well, not entirely, which is why I'm in intensive therapy and on meds: to help me BE and BECOME the person I want to be.

27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

I hate the sound of my husband reading to the children! Hahaha, it's awul to say, but I hate his "kid reading" voice. A sound I love is their laughter. Unless I have a headache, and then it's all about the STFU.

 

28) What's your biggest "what if"?

Oh, I guess that would have to be "what if" I had stayed in my Ph.D. program in Ichthyology at the University of South Florida, gotten my doctorate, and spent the rest of my life studying shark ecomorphology. Who would I have married? WOULD I have married? What about the kids? Nah... I'm glad I left. What I ended up with is much more desireable, I think.

 

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

We've had both these questions, together, recently. I refuse to answer out of sheer boredom with them.

 

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

 

Right: a pair of aviator sunglasses I've yet to wear. Left: laptop.

 

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

 

Cat poop. I need to buy new litter, in the worst, worst way!!

32) What's the worst place you have ever been to?

 

My house, growing up, after my mom died and my dad married The Bitch From Hell.

33) Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

 

I'm a lifelong (almost) East Coaster, but that may change... still, I'll always belong to the Right Coast.

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

 

Hmm. Enrique Iglesias isn't bad to look at, I guess. First name to pop into my head.

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

 

To live, rather than exist, reproduce, grow, change, die, and decompose. To leave the world a better place than when I arrived.

36) Define: Art.

 

My late maternal grandfather. ;)

37) Do you believe in luck?

 

Hm, no, not really. I've said it a hundred times: I believe you reap what you sow.

38) Patriots or Giants? Or, who gives a rat's ass?

 

That last part is exactly what I'd have said, if you didn't.

39) Will you watch the game? If yes, with whom?

 

Nope. Not watching. (All the UK people are going, "What game? Rugby?")

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

 

I do, and I have. In St. Pete, Florida, I had just moved there, got lost, and accidentally made a right turn from the center lane when I realized I needed to make that turn, not even realizing I wasn't in the right. BOOM! The car in the right lane slammed into me. D'oh! Totaled that car.

41) What was the last book you read?

 

Gosh, how embarrassing, but I don't think I've read a book in two years or so. So it would be The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, if I recall correctly. Kids' books don't count.

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

 

I'm neutral on the subject.

43) Do you have any nicknames?

 

You see the title of my blog? That's my 'main' nickname, there. My real name is Melanie, not Ann, as many people think.

44) What was the last movie you saw?

 

Beauty and the Beast 3D - we took the kids to the midnight showing on opening night, and it was awesome.

45) What's the worst injury you've ever had?

 

Before my third c-section, the effing student anesthesiologist poked me in the spine six times trying to do my spinal, and he hit a nerve that nearly launched me off the operating table (at 38+ weeks pregnant with Sophia!) when he nicked it. I could barely walk for years, and I only got my full mobility back after losing over 200 lbs.

Take home message: Teaching hospitals are great and necessary and all that, but don't ever let a student anesthesiologist near your spinal cord. Let 'em fuck up someone else.

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

 

Well, yeah, I suppose I've caught a few in my day.

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

 

Getting rid of my weeks-long migraine. Other than that, hexipuffing.

48) What's your sexual orientation?

 

I'm straight as an arrow, you rude thing, you.

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

Duh. I did go through middle and high school...

 

50) Do you believe in magic?

 

Pfft. No. It's all illusion, you know that as well as I do.

And that's the end of that.

 

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The 99'er Meme, Part The First

Link up here if you're stealing this weekend!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

 

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

 

(a) "I'm Yours" by Brandy; (b) "Who Do U Love" by Deborah Cox; (c) "The War Is Over" by Kelly Clarkson; (d) "Four Leaf Clover" by Abra Moore; (e) "Bite Our Style - Interlude" by Missy Elliott; and (f) "A Thousand Years" by Sting.

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

 

President Obama

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

"Some days must be dark and dreary." - Longfellow

 

4) What do you think about most?

Oh, gosh. My mind is on warp speed most of the time. I couldn't possibly pinpoint my number one thought. Travel, maybe?

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

"Leaving. Love you!" - Hubs

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Usually with, unless it's freakin' hot

7) What's your strangest talent?

Hm, I don't know. I can bend my fingers at the first knuckle only.

8) Women.... (finish the sentence); Men.... (finish the sentence)

Women think too much. Men should realize that.

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Not that I know of. Used to pretend that "Melanie" by Weird Al was for me; now Hubs and I pretend that he wrote "The Way You Are" by Bruno Mars for me. I'd love that, though!

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Pfft. Either never or last week. I can't remember these things.

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

Y'all know I'm scared to death of mustard touching me. And sandpaper touching me. And those people in haunted houses touching me. Just don't touch me!

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Oh, probably a straw or two...

13) What's your religion?

Non-denominational Protestant Christian

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Playing with or watching the kids play

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

I'm the family photographer, but I no longer mind having my photo taken, so it's a draw.

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

You can't disappoint me with The Presidents of the United States of America!

17) What was the last lie you told?

Oh, probably something minor like "I don't know" to one of the kids, when I just didn't feel like the hassle of a long drawn-out explanation. Sometimes, it's just tiring!

18) Do you believe in karma?

I believe you eventually reap what you sow...

19) What does your URL mean?

Which one? http://smellyann.typepad.com, for this blahg? Smellyann's my nickname, no mystery there.

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Weakness: I'm too self-indulgent. Strength: I'm incredibly passionate about the things about which I really care and will go to the ends of the earth for those things/people.

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

Eric Clapton! ♥

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Yep, sho'nuff.

23) How do you vent your anger?

Used to bottle it up and then explode. Now I bitch, bitch, bitch whenever the mood strikes me. Little leaks instead of one ginormous blow-up. Okay, truthfully, I yell and swear. I'm not proud.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

I have a collection of collections.

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Neither. I prefer to text or IM online. I don't like video chatting, and I don't like talking on the phone most of the time. What the heck is wrong with me?

Have a great week!

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: Never-Ending Meme, Parte Fin

Link up here if you're playing along this week!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

36. Have you watched American Horror Story?

Nope, I have no idea what that is, sorreh.

37. Baseball hat or toque?

Uhh... I have this beret I like to wear. So, toque?

38. Do you shampoo or soap up first in the shower?

Shampoo, wash face, rinse hair, condition, soap up, rinse hair. Since you asked. :P

39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste?

Wet

40. Pen or pencil?

Pen. I hate writing with a pencil. Hate.

41. Have you ever gambled at a casino?

Yeah, with someone else's money. I lost it quickly. Just as well; I'm not the gambling type.

42. Have you thrown up on a plane?

What kind of questions are these? It's like you just threw a bunch of words up in the air and let them land where they may. Um, no.

43. Have you thrown up in a car?

Okay, yes. I have done that. Couple times.

44. Have you thrown up at work?

Yesss... what's with all these upchucking questions? I threw up at the vet's office once too, when I was pregnant with my oldest. Embarrassing!

45. Do you scream on roller coasters?

I rarely go on roller coasters, because I'm chickenshit, but hell yes, I scream like a mofo.

46. How many shoes do you have?

Not a ton. I have a shoe organizer thingy on the back of my closet door. It's full. Mostly Crocs, flip-flops and slippers. I'm no fashionista, people.

47. Who was your first roommate?

Jen from Rochester. She was nuttier than I was, if you can imagine that. I liked her, for the most part, until she went total fruitcake on me and dropped out of university. Never heard from her again. 

48. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time?

Multiple shots of Goldschläger, when I was 17. I was a wreck, but I bowled better than I ever did sober, so hey.

49. What was your first job?

Babysitting, if that counts, followed by working for my dad in his travel agency, if that counts, followed by a local small supermarket cashier gig. I loved that freakin' job. My customers were awesome!

50. What was your first car?

1991 red Ford Escort Wagon. I bought it in 1993. I drove it maybe half a dozen times. Long story. 

51. When did you go to your first funeral?

When my great-aunt Amy died, when I was about 15 or so. She lived in Manhattan, but the funeral was in Staten Island, I think. Or maybe we just went there as long as we were in the city, since my dad grew up on SI. We visited Aunt Amy a lot during her life, though, so it's... babble time, apparently.

52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?

Six. We lived in Monroe, NY, until then, and moved up to the Syracuse area. When I moved away, on my own, after that, it was to Miami for college. Oh wait, I'm forgetting the summer between high school and college, when I lived in South Carolina with my dad.

53. Who was your first grade teacher?

I had subs all year long. My teacher was supposed to be Mrs. Sullivan, but she had a baby, like, the week before school started, and apparently they had no back-up plan. I had a different sub every day of the year until we moved up to the Syracuse area in April of that year. Then it was Mrs. Mullins at first, until I tested up to the "smart kids' class," and I can't remember the new teacher's name...

54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?

From Newark, NJ, to Syracuse, NY. I was five. I rode by myself. My older sister was supposed to go, but she was scared to fly by herself, so they sent me instead. I loved it. Wait, that was my first solo flight. I don't remember my actual first flight. I've been flying forever, my whole life. I should be a damn pilot by now. Probably the same trip, though, in either direction.

55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?

Julie, who I was fortunate enough to reconnect with on Facebook years later, after she moved away that summer. That was three years ago, and we're still tight. She was sleeping over at my house, and we left in the middle of the night to go buy junk food at the grocery store down the road apiece. I was shitting my pants, I was so nervous! It was fun, though. That's the only time I ever snuck out, more or less.

56. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?

Victoria Dixon. She was petite and beautiful, I thought. That was in Monroe; I haven't heard from her since I moved at six. Holy old memories in this meme, eh? 

57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents’ house?

My dorm room at the U of Miami, and I loved it!

58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?

My husband at work, if he's not home. If he is home, I just talk to him.

59. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?

My dad's, with his third wife. (He's on Wife #5 now.) I was eight. My mother had died a year earlier. I hardly felt celebratory.

60. What is the first thing you do in the morning?

Try not to wake up, give up, and go pee.

61. What was the first concert you attended?

It was either Whitney Houston or Bon Jovi. This was the 80s, when Whitney was still the shiznat.

62. First tattoo or piercing?

No tattoos. Four piercings in each ear, though I rarely fill them. I got my nose pierced when I turned 21. I still wear it.

63. First celebrity crush?

Matt Dillon! That makes me laugh now, for some reason...

64. What's your favorite number?

64! Okay, I totally just added that question myself because, hello, it's my favorite number and I wanted to end on it. :P

Okay, I'm tired and have a headache, so no witty parting remarks. See you in a week.

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The Never-Ending Meme, Parte Dos

Link up here if you're doing Part II of this misnamed meme!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

21. Did you go to your high school prom?

I went to my Freshman Banquet, with my then-BFF Erin. There was no Sophomore dance at our school, but that year I went to my then-boyfriend's Freshman Banquet (he was older than me, but, er, uh, not as academic if you know what I mean). I went with a group of friends to my Junior Prom. I couldn't go to my Senior Ball, because my boyfriend was black, and we weren't "out" as a couple to my family, who would not have approved. So... no?

22. Perfect time to wake up?
23. Perfect time to go to bed?

Ideally, I'd stay up all night and sleep all day. I'm nocturnal; I always have been.  I'd convert my children - who are homeschooled - to the same schedule to make it easier on myself, if it wouldn't pretty much eff up the rest of their lives! :P

24. Do you use your queen right away in chess?

I have never had the privilege of being engaged in a chess match. Learning to play - and beating someone - is on my Bucket List.

25. Ever been in a car accident?

Oh, yeah. A few, but the most memorable was the time my dad and I were driving me back to college in Miami from South Carolina, and about 1/3 of the way there, we got hit by a drunk driver. It was the middle of the night, and the young man sped off, leaving us spinning around until we landed, facing out toward the road, down an embankment. There was an eerie silence except for the music coming from my boombox, which had flown out a broken window and gotten turned on. My dad sat there, paralyzed, not having a clue what to do, while I was basically freaking the freak out of an 18-year-old girl who desperately wanted to get back to school and away from ... him.

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was probably more like 20 minutes, a semi pulled into view. I leaned over in front of my dad and leaned on the horn for all I was worth. The truck driver skidded to a stop as soon as he could, and soon he was on the scene, helping us out of the thick brush and rescuing us. Before long, the place was crawling with police, us, the trucker, and the drunk driver and his dad, who had woken up when his son slammed into the house. He'd taken one look at his son and realized something bad had happened, telling him, "You've got to go back there, son." The police told us that we probably would have been dead if all four tires hadn't blown out on our rental van during the spinning and crashing. Anyway, that's my story. 

26. Closer to mom or dad…or neither?

Well, I told you that story... but my mom died when I was 7. I 'talk' to her all the time, so... I'd say it's a draw.

27. What age is this exciting life over for you?

I expected to drop dead at the age of 33, just like my mom did, all my life, so now that I'm 35, every year I get older is just an amazing, miraculous surprise. I intend to live life right out loud as long as I've got, whether it ends tomorrow or when I'm 103. I don't know. I never expected to get old, but I've married the love of my life, and it would be spectacular to get old together, y'know?

28. What decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager?

I loved being a child of the 80s, but I think the Roaring 20s would have been fun, or the 50s, with the sock hops and all that stuff.

29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned?

Well, I haven't worn them yet, but I got these knee-high black boots that fit perfectly and look great, off Freecycle. I'm taking a break from knitting THE perfect dress to go with them. I can't wait to rock that outfit!

30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high school?

I do. Several shirts. Nothing worth mentioning, really.

31. Were you in track and field?

*Snort* No. Running for me is like ... like... a penguin trying to fly. It's almost physically impossible. I'd like to do the pole vault, though.

32. Were you ever in a school talent show?

Well, no. I was the Caterpillar in our 5th grade production of Alice in Wonderland, and I was a big hit. Then I developed stage fright, after my stepmother made some evil cracks about how I wasn't worth the money to spend on my dance lessons, though I was talented... but let's not go there. No. I wasn't ever in a talent show.

33. Have you ever written in a library book?

I don't know. I don't think so. I've probably dog-eared a few, though.

34. Allergic to?

It was the weirdest thing. I was never, ever allergic to anything, until 2008, when I was suddenly allergic to EVERYTHING. Strawberries and apples, Percocet and Anceph, the chlorine at the pool, my pillows... everything. I had reactions constantly. Then we went to Europe in the summer, and the reactions stopped during the trip. I haven't had an allergic reaction since then. Weird, right?

35. Favorite fruit?

Rob. Oh, you meant fo' real, a food? Hmm... I love me some fruit. It's a tie between kiwi and strawberries. I like grapes, too. Oh, and Clementines... and canteloupe. I love me some fruit!

Until next week, my babies...

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The Never-Ending Meme, Parte Uno

Link up here if you're meme-crazy like me, too!

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Song that always makes you sad?

"To Where You Are" by Josh Groban, and "Tears in Heaven" by E.C.

2. Last thing you bought?

Canned foods for our donation to the Food Bank, part of our entrance fee to last night's Girl Scout Cookie Rally  

3. Last person you argued with?

Rob and I had it OUT the other day about where we're going to live after he retires in 1½ years from the US Navy, but I'm going to keep mum this time, until we actually make things happen. Sorreh.

4. Do you put butter before putting the peanut butter on?

Huh? Butter with peanut butter? Huh? Is you crazy?

5. One of your stuffed animals’ names as a kid?

My Cabbage Patch Kids were Aubrey Lenora, Tiffany Jacqueline, and Andrea Jeanine.

6. Did you ever at one time own a Barenaked Ladies CD?

Well, of course. "If I had a million dollars" is one of "our" songs...

7. Favorite day of the week?

Any day that Rob is home with me, sap sap, mush mush, gag.

8. Favorite sundae topping?

I can't eat it anymore, but if it's going to be a sundae, it better have nuts, hot fudge, whipped cream, and a cherry. Good stuff, there. Mmm.

9. Did you take piano lessons?

Yes. Well, my mom played the organ, so when she died, I took organ lessons to honor her. When the piano teacher came to my house, I played the organ. When I went to her house, I played her piano. So, kinda.

10. Most frequent song played?

Right now I'm overplaying "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5. There are boobs in the explicit version on YouTube, you know. I discovered this the other day. Who doesn't like boobs? I was told recently that even gay guys like 'em. Who knew?

11. TV show you secretly enjoy?

I enjoy Phineas and Ferb, which we stream on Netflix, since we don't have 'real' TV. Rob and I laugh more than the children do, I swear.

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey?

Hockey. I can whack the shit out of some puck, dude.

13. Date someone older or younger?

I prefer them older. I don't want to teach you new tricks. I want you to know the tricks. Kwim?

14. One place you could travel right now?

Could, or would like to? I mean, I could travel to Williamsburg or the Outer Banks. I would like to travel to Japan or Australia. Say what you mean, and mean what you say, dammit.

15. Do you use umbrellas?

We have a Britto umbrella, which I bought for Rob as a gift during a trip to Charleston, that mostly sits unused. I prefer to just get wet, unless my hair and make-up are done, and then I'm using that mofo. I like getting rained on.

16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem?

Yeah, I know all the words to all the national anthems, dude. Duh. :\

17. Favorite cheese?

Velveeta. Sike! (Although I admit, I'll use it when it suits.) Hmm... I do like my Muenster.

18. The Smiths or The Cure?

Depends on the mood. Whatever, I like it all but country.

19. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?

I really don't give a rat's ass. I like arm muscles, though. Not that you asked that.

20. Best job you ever had?

You should expect me to say the current one, mothering my three bebes. Which I do love, of course. But aside from that, I'd say it's a toss-up between my internship in Fisheries Biology at Mote Marine Lab and my stint working at the dive shop Diver's Paradise on Key Biscayne. Times of my life, both.

Well, that wasn't exactly never-ending. Twenty questions, really? I was prepared for fourscore. Ah well. More fun next week. Ciao, thieving peeps.

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: 2011 Wrap-Up Meme

I almost forgot about SS today! Link up here if you're playing along.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Gosh, I gotta think. A year's a long time... let's see.  Oh, I know, I drove in Manhattan! That was scary but exciting, because I didn't kill us. Whew.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I honestly don't even remember what they were, so probably not. I've made some for 2012, yes. I want to be a better housekeeper and be more organized, and I want to start the Couch-2-5K program that I've been thinking about for a number of years but never actually started. I need to be more active.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, my Turtle-friend Saritah had baby T, and a few other friends had babies as well. It's been a baby-heavy year!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yeah, my beloved grandpa. I miss him so much. It's been since last February, and I still think about picking up the phone to call him when things remind me of him.

5. What countries did you visit?

We didn't leave the country, but we visited several states outside our own Virginia. The only one I'd never been to before was Connecticut, where we stayed for Grandpa's funeral, even though that was in NJ. Appropriate, though, because he was from there.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

More financial stability and freedom. 2011 was tiiiiiiight.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Well, 9/11/11, because it was the 10th anniversary of that momentous tragedy. Also 9/7/11 and 9/8/11, because my oldest turned 10 and then I turned 35, which seems to me like the age of growed-up-ness. That's a word.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I think probably teaching the three cooking classes at our homeschoolng co-op. I really went out of my comfort zone to do that, and I got lots of positive feedback. It turned out great, and I'm proud of it.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Tackling the laundry monster. That has been a BIG FAIL for me this year. I will not let 2012 be the same!

10. What was the best thing you bought?

Rob's wedding ring! I just gave it to him yesterday or the day before. He lost his original wedding ring while we were at an amusement park this past summer, and he's been "un-wed" for months now. I bought him one and it just arrived, though we still need to get it in engraved. He's married again, yay! I was going to save it and give it to him for our 11th anniversary, which is tomorrow, but ... I wanted that finger ringed!

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Jack's. Ohhh, you meant a celebrity? Well, I'm picking my son. He's really shown himself to be a hard worker when he applies himself, this year. It's been a switch from years past, when he was more of a lazybones.

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and disgusted?

No one I can think of, that I got really worked up about.

13. What song will always remind you of 2011?

"Someone Like You" and "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele. Love her, love her voice, love her songs...

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Drudgery. I've been pretty lazy this year (well, last year). I've been slacking.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?

That slacking I mentioned? Kind of obvious answer, though, right?

16. Did you fall in love in 2011?

I fall in love with my husband again all the time, so yes. He repeatedly shows me why I should love him so much. ♥

17. What was your favorite new TV program?

N/A. No TV for us.

18. What was the best book you read?

Bah. I don't think I read a single non-child book this year. I should put that on my "must" list as well. I barely read my magazines, of which I get a TON of free subscriptions, and I have a huge stack to go through and donate to the libe.

19. What one thing would have made your year measurably more satisfying?

Hm. Finishing out December with a BANG! like I planned. Instead, I got sick for nearly three weeks, just getting better as of yesterday, and had to take it extreeeeeeemely easy. Ah, well, the best-laid plans...

20. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

I'm still trying to sort that out. When I was very fat, it was "whatever fits." I don't want that to be my style now, but I don't know what is. I like lots of different things, but I don't have the budget to go out and shop for a whole new wardrobe. It's pretty much, "Whatever was on mega-clearance at Old Navy... that fits." haha

21. What kept you sane?

The hubs, Rob, and my crafting and knitting. When I get crazy-stressed, I've gotta pick up my needles. Stabbing at yarn makes me not want to jab the needles at a person. Or cat. Those rascally cats...!

22. Who did you miss?

Well. Everyone. We're a military family, so all our family and many of our friends are distant. Along with that, as always, my mother and son, and my grandparents, who are waiting for me in Heaven.

23. Who was the best new person you met?

Jenny From the Block! She's my girl. Love her! Oh, and my new therapist. She rocks the kasbah.

24. Tell us a valuable lesson you learned in 2011?

Count your blessings, and appreciate them always. Life is precious, and short. Be in the moment. Share special one-on-one time with each of the kids, every day, even for just a few minutes. It makes such a huge difference to them. 

25. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"Everybody wang chung tonight!" What? I want to wang chung tonight, don't you?

Enjoy your year. May it be filled with love, laughter, and chocolate. If you like that sort of thing.

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The Blue Memory Meme, Parte Dos

Link up here if you feel the need to do so. If you don't, well, at least comment and stuff. M'kay?

Cheers to all of us thieves!

26) Are you happy with the person you've become?

I could stand to improve. The more important thing is, are the kids and hubs?

27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate: sandpapering, ugh. Love: Kids laughing, especially my kids, especially at me because I'm being funny as hell.

28) What's your biggest "what if"?

Well, I don't normally put this out there on the blog, but it's "What if Chay (the guy I loved in college - and beyond) had broken up with his girlfriend for me? Would we have made it?" But that's a whole 'nother post, and I don't plan to go there again.

29) Do you believe in ghosts?

Nope. Unless you're talking about that movie with Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore. I believe in that movie.

30) How about aliens?

Like ghosts, I'll believe in them when I see one. I certainly believe the possibility exists.

31) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Marrying Rob. No doubt. Hands down. (Although I was reconsidering it a few hours ago, when he was being a total jackass.)

32) What's the worst place you have ever been to?

It's a tie between Ottawa and the Bahamas. Not a fan of either place. (You thought I was going to say "my childhood home," didn't you? I probably should've, but I don't like to be predictable. :P)

33) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Hell yeah. I'm pretty creative, right? Look at Van Gogh. His ass was crazy and his art was amazing.

34) Most attractive actor of your opposite gender?

I'm partial to Matt Damon, but I do feel guilty saying that instead of Denzel, since I do have a thing for black men. (What, you didn't know?)

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

To leave the planet better than when I left it. In other words, to make a difference to someone, anyone; to matter; to be able to say, "I did good things here. I tried my best."

36) Define “Art”.

Art can be anything that speaks to someone. Some people find art in a rusty gate, while others find it at the museum. It can be lyrical, but that art will be gangsta rap to some (not me) or opera to others. To me, it's more about what the average Joe gets out of it than being worthy of a critic's praise.

37) Do you believe in luck?

Honestly and truly, no. But I say "Good luck!" all the time. Does that make me a hypocrite? What will be, will be.

38) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Everyone's happy and content with it; no one feels "less than."

39) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Lou Vega's "Mambo No. 5." I mean, c'mon. How can you not shake your booty when that comes on?

40) Where were you yesterday?

See here, now, didn't you read my post, "Are You Lookin' At My Ass?" (Apparently no one did. No comments. Wah.)

41) What's the worst injury you've ever had?

The mental injury caused by years of psychological abuse from my ex-step-mother. No amount of physical pain I've endured could rival that.

42) Do you have any obsessions right now?

HEXIPUFFING!!!! I've got about 50 puffs now. I'm totally neglecting the laundry. The kids are all, "we don't have underwear, we don't have socks!" Darn kids, always needing something.

43) What's up?

This bread Chloë made, at my made-up direction, totally sucks. It has chocolate in it, though, so I'm scarfing it down anyway.

44) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

Does it count as a rumor if it's true?

45) Do you believe in real magic?

Nah. Unless you're talking about that goo-goo lovey-dovey kind of magic when you fall in love. Then oh, yeah, of course.

46) Do you ever hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Yes, it's my forte. (And please pronounce that correctly, like "fort," not "for-tay.")

47) What's your favorite (non-pet) animal?

Sharks, der!

48) What is your secret weapon to get people to like you?

I have sex with them. That usually works. I'm kidding; I have a lot of female friends and don't go that way. I don't know! I just try to be real, know what'm sayin'?

49) Where is your best friend?

Centra New York, up where I grew.

50) What do you think is Satan's last name?

Simmons. Oh wait, that's my dad. Umm...

Have a great week! I'm going to go puke up this nasty-ass bread!

Fin.

Sunday Stealing: The Blue Memory Meme, Parte Uno

Link up here if you're a meme freak like I apparently am.

Cheers to my fellow thieves!

1) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Oh, gosh. Don't do this to me! Um, it would probably be something Save the Planet-y.

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

I would love to meet a little girl in a remote African village, who is starving to death, look her in the eye, and tell her how sorry I am. And then give her family a whole herd of something from Heifer International.

3) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Australia, dude! See ya!

4) What do you think about most?

I'm bipolar. I cycle through the stages rapidly - several times a day. In other words, I think about everything the most. Right now I'm currently obsessed with both our finances (on the downswing) and hexipuffs (on the upswing), though.

 

My Hexipuffs

5) You have the opportunity to spend a romantic night with the music celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Either Flava Flav or Eric Clapton. I'm kidding! It would totally be Slowhand. I wouldn't want that big clock bashing me in the face every two seconds.

6) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Can I erase my entire childhood and re-do it? If not, then the death of my son, certainly.

7) What's your strangest talent?

My boobs are saggy, and I can carry things under them. Like, a stapler and fruit and stuff. Bahaha, I totally just said that 'out loud.'

8) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

I'm not telling you, then you would know the answer!! Next!

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Yes. I wrote it, though. haha. I think Bruno Mars wrote "Just the Way You Are" for me, but I'm not for sure about it. Ask him.

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

LOL Maybe two weeks ago. I'm more likely to play air harp.

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

Yeah, mustard and sand paper. **Shudder** Now I'm going to have nightmares, thanks.

12) What's your religion?

I'm a non-denominational Protestant, but I grew up as a Christian Scientist. Which, for the millionth time, is not the same thing as Scientology!

13) What is your current desktop picture?

A beautiful skein of yarn. Ha, what, did you think it would be my kids or something?? Great, now I feel guilty.

14) When you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Carrying 57 bags (canvas, of course) out of my van at once. What, me, make two trips?? Never.

15) What's the last song you listened to?

"Life in the Fast Lane," by the Eagles.

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Bah. I hate "favorite" questions, because I'm so indecisive about such things! I'm partial to The Killers, and I like Vampire Weekend a lot, but maybe it's The Presidents... so I don't know!! I can't, I just can't do it!

17) What was the last lie you told?

Probably that it wasn't me who farted. It totally was.

18) Do you believe in karma?

I believe that, eventually, people will reap what they have sewn.

19) What is a saying you say a lot?

Lately, I say, "Awesomesauce," thanks to my friend Saritah, and "Shut the front door!" thanks to my friend Jenny From the Block.

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Weakness: I'm terminally pretty. Oh wait, that was the girl in that song. No, I'm waaay too self-indulgent. Strength: I'm a self-starter. When I need to get something done, or I really want something, I charge in and get 'er done.

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

Damon. He's so freaking hawt. I mean, c'mon. Look at him. Oy.

22) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.

Love. C'mon, I'm a chick.

23) How do you vent your anger?

It's not pretty, but I usually do a lot of yelling and swearing, and occasionally I throw shit. Is there a sport that utilizes those qualities? I'm thinking bowling... no, maybe not so much.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

Shot glasses, cool spoons, cats, kids, and magnets. I used to collect keychains, but I stopped when I realized that my key-to-keychain ration was about 3:400. That was ridick.

25) What is your favorite word?

It changes all the time. It's usually a bad word though. I can't help it, I'm from New Yawk and I married a sailor. What do you want from me??!?!

Anyway, g'bye.

Fin.