You Know Things Hurt More In Your Shoe!

It's always crazy around here on half-days. Today and tomorrow are the last two days of school for my kids, and they are "adjusted dismissal" days. Half days. Just go on, you can say it.

I had no idea what time to expect Jack's bus this morning, given that she is so variable on regular days. I was thinking 10:15, so I was lazily checking email this morning at 9:38 when Jack shouted from the kitchen, "MOMMMMM! My bus is here!!!" Wha? Thank goodness it was only a half-day, as I hadn't bothered to put anything in his lunch box yet. I sent him out, for the first time, without his backpack. He was completely bewildered by this. I had to tell him three times that it was all right before he was convinced.

Of course, I should have sent it. He came home with his hands full of papers!

And his AM bus driver walked up to the door to show me she had a picture of Jack, and a picture frame, but his picture was too big for the frame. She wanted me to have it anyway. Which makes me feel rotten that I haven't gotten anything for the teachers and bus drivers. Wait. There is still time to run to Farm Fresh for some gift cards. Should I go?

Nah, I think I'll just have them write letters/make pictures like my friend Jen over at the Daily Mish Mash suggested. We need to save all our pennies for Europe right now, too!

So when Sophia finally woke up, I put her in her favorite new sundress before setting off for Chloë's school. We had to pick up the awesome movie prize pack we won from their Relay For Life raffle. It contained:

The huge popcorn bucket

Four new DVDs

Four boxes of movie theatre popcorn

Two bottles of Green Tea with Citrus (ick)

and substantial gift cards to AMC Theatres and Blockbuster!

Totally worth the $5 I paid for my six raffle tickets, I thought as we lugged our loot back to the sweltering van. I just hoped that chocolate wouldn't melt in the summer heat. I think it came out all right.

Back at home, Sophia insisted we open everything in the "party box," as she called it, right away. She was so excited about it and couldn't wait for Bro and Sis to get home so they could watch a movie and, of course, eat some snacks. "I loooove snacks!" proclaimed Soapy.

By the way, birdies of all shapes and sizes are her favorite animals. Jack's are bunnies and Chloë's are kitties. What you'll do with that information is up to you, but I just thought I'd share now that it's become so clear.

Next things Soap wanted to do was color in her sister's new coloring book. I didn't see the harm, so I sat and watched as she oh-so-carefully scribbled with ten different colors all in the same spot and then declared that page finished. She did that on two more pages before she'd had enough with that activity. She wanted some "juice," and by that, she meant the green tea.

I let her have at it, after I'd had a big swig and decided it was not for me, or, I was sure, her father. Here she was, sitting quietly drinking her tea at the table, so I got back to work sewing Chloë's shorts.

Y'all. I have made a lot of mistakes with these shorts. The inside-out and pocket mishaps of yesterday were just the beginning. I sewed the crotch all wrong, and now it looks like the wearer has been riding a horse for too long. I knew it didn't look right but figured it would just fix itself as I proceeded. The directions said nothing of the right way to do it, which I have since learned from my former home-ec teacher MIL, who is valiantly trying to teach my dumb ass to sew from halfway across the country! Of course, I'm now ten steps ahead of the crotch (that doesn't sound good), so I have a lot of ripping out to do. Sigh. It just doesn't come easy to me, this sewing business.

Jack's bus pulled up a mere two hours after he left, so it was time to stash the sewing for a while. You have to keep your eye on that one. Shortly after that, Chloë arrived, wanting to know what was new.

What's new?! What's new, you ask? I have new things for you today, my dear!

First, I showed her and Jack all the goodies we'd won from her school. She was just mystified that I could have snuck into and out of her school without her spotting me. I'm a sneaky one, my dear.

Then, I showed her the packages that their Aunt Gail had mailed from them, apparently just for some summer fun.

Sophia received the most adorable outfit ever, which she insisted on changing into right away. Cuteness personified!! I want to make that!

It always amuses me when two or more of the kids are opening presents at the same time, but they're so interested in what the other person got, they're not looking at their own goody! Jack's eyes were glued to Chloë's new outfit (which she dubbed "a China shirt," after the also-embroidered she-dubbed "China outfit" that we actually bought her in Morroco, in Epcot!), so much so that he nearly missed the fact that he'd gotten a new pair of Cars swim trunks! This brought much glee on his part.

Next, the kids gathered 'round as Chloë opened their group present, a summer catching toy for outside! I'm saving it for when they go to Stephanie's, so they have something new to play with and retain their interest.

Gail also sent this freaking awesome cookie cookbook, which has tons of mouth-watering recipes for every cookie imaginable. I haven't even used it yet, but I can already tell it's going to be my go-to book for cookies now! Mmm, I'm salivating. You must get this book!!

Thanks for our goodies, Gail! Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em (that's a quote from Chloë's monologue, btw).

Once that fun was over, the kids were clamoring for their promised candy. I let them pick the movie (All Dogs Go To Heaven, which is way more violent than I'd remembered from my own days watching it as a kid) and the candy (JuJubes, I think). They settled in, and I picked up my fuzzy yarn for the scarf that man had ordered for his daughter, and which I'd completely forgotten about yet again. Whoops. I used to be able to knock out the whole scarf in two hours. This time, being rusty and having fakety-fake nails on, I barely got past the keyhole before the movie ended. Oy. I'm not looking forward to finishing it, but I'll go do that tonight after I finish this.

Once the movie was over, the kids were acting ornery and bossy and pushy and not-so-nice. I gave them the choice: naptime, or clean up the living room time. They chose naptime, small wonder. Once they were in their rooms, I lay down "for a quick shut-eye," I told myself. I didn't wake up for hours! Way later than I'd planned, and Stephanie was on her way over to babysit!

I hopped into the shower as Rob was getting home, very late from work. Of course when we've got somewhere to go, he gets stuck in traffic. It's a rule, you know.

Anyway, we went out, had dinner, had some drinks, laughed a whole bunch and generally enjoyed each other's company. I'm so thankful for that. He didn't feel well, though, and barely touched his dinner. And we were stuck in a booth with an immovable table, and I barely had room to breathe. It sucks to be fat!

Back at home, Rob took the kids upstairs to get ready for bed, and Jack turned around and peed in the laundry! He was wide awake, so there was just no excuses for it. What the f  HELL?!! Why would he DO that??  I am just completely baffled by it. Completely baffled.

Oh! I almost forgot. I've had multiple requests for the bread recipe and for the story about why I deserved to be peed on. First, the bread. The recipe is from here, but I will post it below for those of you who are as lazy as I am:

INGREDIENTS

• 1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast
• 1 1/4 cups warm water (110 degrees to 115 degrees F)
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon garlic salt
• 1/2 cup grated Romano cheese
• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• Cornmeal

DIRECTIONS

1. In a large mixing bowl, dissolve yeast in water. Add the sugar, salt, garlic salt, cheese and 2 cups flour. Beat until smooth. Stir in enough remaining flour to form a soft dough.
2. Turn onto a floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 6-8 minutes. Place in a greased bowl, turning once to grease top. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 1 hour.
3. Punch dough down. Turn onto a lightly floured surface; divide in half. Shape each half into a 14-in. loaf. Place on a greased baking sheet that has been sprinkled with cornmeal. Cover and let rise until doubled, about 45 minutes.
4. Brush loaves with water. Make three diagonal slashes about 1/2 in. deep with a very sharp knife in each loaf.
5. Fill a 13-in. x 9-in. x 2-in. baking pan with 1 in. of hot water and place on the bottom oven rack. Preheat to 400 degrees F. Bake loaves for 20-25 minutes. Remove to wire racks.

And now, your story.

Rob hates to be poked in the sides. Haaates it. It makes him jump and squeal like a little girl. For that reason, I do it all the time. ALLLL the time. He asks me constantly to stop. I have tried. I just can't help myself. So one time, he was in the bathroom taking a leak, and I came up to him with my finger a-twitchin'. He knew that look, so he warned me, "If you poke me, I'm going to pee on you!" I laughed and poked him anyway. With that, he turned and peed up and down the whole front of me, clothes on and everything.

And that's the rest of the story.

Fin.