Tell Me A Story
Some Rare Brevity

Feeling Cranky

...and I don't know why. Just am.

I asked Rob to pick up some iron pills for me yesterday, but he didn't.

I asked him to watch the Sex & the City movie with me tonight, but he can't, because he has to get up early and stand watch tomorrow.

I asked him to clean up the kitchen for me so I could make cupcakes... and he did! And behold, it was clean, until the children got ahold of two different boxes of cereal and spread frosed flakes and fruity pebbles (yeah, I buy junk cereals, sue me) all over the table and kitchen floor.

My solution to that? "Wipe everything onto the floor! We'll sweep later!"

I have no intentions of sweeping anytime soon. Crunch, crunch.

Hm, I wonder why I saw that cucaracha the other week?

The Nons were also playing upstairs - I thought in their rooms, with their damn toys - while I mixed the afore-mentioned cupcakes. Then I started smelling a very strong, clean smell.

Oh, no. What now?

Then Jack started shrieking and wailing.

I put down the cupcakes and bounded upstairs, all the while the smell getting stronger and more nosey-burny.

Somehow, they were locked in Sophia's room together. I whipped open the door, and they were both standing there, howling, and clutching at their eyes. "We got it in our eyes, we got it in our eyes!"

Fantastic. Got what? Then I spied the cap for the small bottle of essential oil that came with the laundry soapnuts, for making smelly good clothes. No bottle in sight.

I grabbed a Non by each hand and dragged them into the bathroom, hauled them one at a time up to the sink, and instructed them to look down at my hands, while I flushed their eyes with copious amounts of H20. Flush, flush, flush, rinse, rinse, rinse, dry, dry, dry.

They stopped crying. Their eyes stopped being burning red. They could read the number of fingers I was holding up. I thought about calling Poison Control or something, but ... they seemed okay. Really okay. And I take eyes seriously.

I instructed them to give me the bottle NOW, and alas, it was completely empty. If you know anything about essential oils, you know that it is extremely concentrated and you use it drip by drip, like food coloring. That was a lot of drips, and it was all over them and their clothes.

I mean, thank God it was smell-good stuff and not, say, poo, so I could stand to be in the same room with them, but barely.

Needless to say, they accompanied me back downstairs to finish the cupcakes and did not leave my side for the rest of the day.

Nons! You can't live with 'em and you can't send 'em into the woodchipper!

I kid, I jest.

Our errands today were trifold:

First, we went to the Fall Product cupboard and picked up the last of the orders. I suppose I should run out there and make sure we have everything we were supposed to; I forgot to bring the list with me.

Of course, right away, the kids started begging for candy. Never mind that it's not our candy. Do you think you deserve candy? Huh? Essential-oil roasting tots? I do not think so.

Then we went to Wachovia, to deposit the first batch of money for the Fall Product sale. Four of us mothers are all paid up; four mothers to go.The kids like that bank and other drive-thrus like it because they just adore watching the box zip up through the tube and then come back down again. I admit, I like it, too.

And finally, we went to our own bank, to deposit a wee mystery shopping check of my own. No fun box there. The kids wanted to know why we had to go to two banks. No fun! No fun at all!

Oh, and next time you have to go for a drive with little ones, don't say, "C'mon guys, let's go for a ride in the car!" Because driving around in carseats in a minivan apparently does not constitute a "ride" for small children. Sophia wanted to know when we were getting to the rides. Jack wanted to know if there would be animals there. I just banged my head on the steering wheel and explained, for the trillionth time, that this is the ride, and I'm sorry it sucketh so much.

Oh, the cupcakes. When we got home, they were cooled, and it was time to frost.

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Nothing too fancy this time; I just wanted to use up the remainder of the huge tub of Wilton icing. And I did! I went right down to the last drop, but it covered all two dozen of them. I just rolled the edges in some pink sugar I had left over from something else, and voila! The kids thought they looked great anyway.

Next time, I hope to do something more exciting from the cupcake book I just bought - which is awesome, by the way - but I didn't have all the candies and ingredients I would have needed for any one of the designs.

When Chloë came home, while I was decorating them, everyone seemed to disintegrate at once into fights and tears and meltdowns. Ho-leeee-cow. I sent them, one by one, up to their rooms for a nap. Chlo threw the biggest fit of them all about it, which is exactly why she needed one.

After an hour or so, she came down, and I had her lie down with me on the couch. I lay on my back, with her on her tummy on top of me, and we just snuggled under the blankets and chitchatted until Daddy came home and Steph showed up to pick up all our sippy cups and a cupcake. It was nice holding my baby.

Then she got up just as Jack woke up and came downstairs, and he snuggled up on top of me. He really burrowed in, too. It was nice. He's such a sweet, small baby when he wants to be.

So that's it. I'm off to watch my movie, all by my lonesome. Have you seen it? Was it good?

Fin.

PS There is a chance Chloë may be in a movie, a small student film for a film festival, out in Charlottesville, VA. We'll meet with the director in Richmond the weekend after Thanksgiving, so he can determine if she's right for the part. I can tell he's excited about her.

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