On The Ninth Day Of Christmas
On The Tenth Day Of Christmas

Dearly Beloved: Part The Third

Dear Christmas,

I didn't get pictures taken this year, and I didn't send out any cards. We didn't put up any decorations and only got about a quarter of the ornaments on the tree. I didn't bake a single cookie or place a speck of glitter anywhere. And yet, you still arrived, and behold, it was good. Thanks for showing up despite my sad lack of preparation.


Remembering The Reason


Dear Robby,

It's Mama. Listen, Honey, before you were born, Daddy was "Robby." And then you came... and went, and that's what we called you since before you were even conceived, so the epithet went with you. I never called Daddy that again, because it belonged to you. But it's been almost eight years, and I've suddenly started using it for your dad again. I can't explain why. I hope you don't mind.  I'm thinking we'll be cool as long as I don't start calling him "Baby A," though, right?




To the bitchy lady in the 7-11 parking lot,

Listen, Toots, I'm sorry that my face connected with your car door that night. I'm sure it really put you out that I smashed my cheek and forehead into the door you opened up all the way, right behind me, so that I had no choice but to run into it when I turned around. But, really? Your reaction - was that so necessary? "You're the one who ran into MY car!" My face has been swollen and bruised for over a week since then. Pretty sure your car's just fine. I'm thinkin' maybe a little compassion wouldn't kill you. Might crack that tight face, though. Just sayin'.


No I'm NOT Okay, Thanks


Dear Massive Amounts of Snow Sitting Outside My Front Door,

I seriously hate you. You're keeping me from my Diet Coke and chocolate. Go away!


Thanking God for Coffee


Dear Checking Account Balance,

Stop being so negative already. Think positive!


Broke as a Joke


Dear Readers,

You rock. You're awesome. All dozen of you. (I know, I'm loaded with fans!) I could use a little pick-me-up right now, so maybe leave a "hi" in the comments for me? I swear it will help.