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Saturday 9: Call Me Maybe & Pour Some Sugar On Me

So I've been quite unwell for a week and change now and am still not all put back together yet, but I'm sick of languishing in bed as if I didn't have a billion trillion jillion things to do... Here are this week's and last week's Saturday 9 entries, for your edification and (hopefully) amusement!

1. Do you owe anyone a phone call?

Heh. Yeah. About two dozen people have left me voicemails while I've been unwell, and I've pretty much not called or spoken on the phone the whole time. I think my dad is probably wondering if I'm still alive...!

2. Do you still have a landline phone?

Landline?! Gosh, no, those are so 20th century!

3. When was the last time you looked up a number in the phone book?

Phone book?! See above answer. It kind of pisses me off that those things still land on my porch! What a waste.

4. Do you receive more calls or texts?

About an equal number of each. Since I spent a fair amount of time dodging callers and hiding away from the world, either literally or figuratively, I much prefer texts.

5. Carly Rae made the Final 3 on Canadian Idol. Can you name another Canuckian import?

Isn't her mentor, the Biebs, Canadian, too? I can think of lots, but Martin Short springs to mind first. I don't know why, really, since I can't stand that small buffoon...

6. Sam grew sick of this song by hearing it too often on the radio. Where do you listen to the radio most often? Car? Work? Somewhere else?

Up until the last fortnight, when the sound suddenly stopped working on this'ere piece of crap computer, I mostly listened to it here, online. Now I'm sitting here listening to it play on my iPhone. I would say Penelope (my Honda Odyssey), but when the kids are with me (which is all the time), I usually open the DVD player in the back and let them hear the movie audio. We have headphones, but only two sets, and with three kids, that doesn't really work. We've been planning on getting a third set for about as long as we've had Penny. Procrastinate much?!

7. Mother Winters can work wonders with an iron and a can of spray starch. Every blouse and shirt she presses looks good as new. Is there a domestic chore at which you excel?

I can clean with the best of 'em - when I do clean. My standards have been reduced drastically by living with a sloppy husband and three equally sloppy offspring! Drives me nuts. I'm on a mission to change that when we move to Miami in mid-March, and I have a plan that I've already shared with the afore-mentioned slobbos. We will not live like piggies in the next place, dammitalltohellandback!

8. Do you consider yourself competitive?

Heck yeah. That just reminded me, in Calculus, as a high school senior, Mamati (our class valedictorian) and I were always neck-and-neck with grades. His average was probably something like 99.9997 and mine was probably a few thousandths lower... he signed my yearbook that spring with something about that! Turd.

9. Tell us your superhero name - as determined by the color of your shirt and an item to your right. For example, Crazy Sam now fights crime as the Light Blue Coffee Mug!

Well, then, I'm the Purple Coupon, conquering sales wherever I may roam!

Onward...

1. Do you have a favorite "hair metal" band?

Well, I love Def Leppard and this song, but I gotta give it to Bon Jovi. Come on. Jon Bon Jovi? Fine in the '80s, and still fine two (what, three??) decades later. Killin' me!

2. Def Leppard got their start in South Yorkshire, England.  Have you ever been to the UK?

Not yet, but I will get there one day. I'm part English, by the by.

3. Who would you rather chat with, one-on-one: Prince Philip, Prince Charles, Prince William, or Prince Harry?

Well, the boys are so damn hot, and I have an affinity for them as someone who also lost a mother at a very young age, tragically and suddenly. (My mom was blonde and blue-eyed, too, which seemed to matter to me at the time Diana died.) I have always thought William was gorgeous, but Harry has really come into his own - plus he's a spitfire! I choose Harry. We'd go be outrageous together, I think.

4. Do you use real sugar or a substitute?

Oh, I can't have much real sugar anymore, since my gastric bypass surgery. So it's Splenda, or Nectressé, or lately, organic agave for me...

5. Valentine's Day is big for candy sales. Did you indulge in any Valentine-themed sugary treats this week?

Not really, 'cause I can't, like I said. Oh, I ate some chocolate, but then I puked it up (sorry for the overshare). We had a homeschoolers' V-day party the day after, and we hit the sales that morning. Woot for 75% off!

6. Do you regularly balance your checkbook?

If by that, you mean, do I log into the app for our bank on my iPhone and check the balance, sure. I haven't balanced a physical, hold-it-in-your-hand checkbook for a couple-three years now. Prolly should...

7. What was your last impulse purchase?

Hmm. I'm a big planner when it comes to moolah, by necessity, so probably the biggest thing to which I can admit lately is some "extra" clearance V-day candy for my oldest girl-child to give to her little beau at the party I mentioned. Hee, they're so cute.

8. When Sam was a girl, she had nightmares about snakes under her bed. When did you last have a bad dream?

I have them all the time. Last night, I was tortured by images of... eh. I don't want to conjure them back up. It wasn't pleasant, though.

9. We're ordering pizza. Do you want deep dish or thin crust?

It depends where we are. If we're in NYC, definitely the floppy, gotta-fold-it-in-half thin crust. Anywhere else, that shit is cardboard, so it's deep dish FTW!

Have a lovely, y'all!

Fin.

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