Saturday 9: (Amazing) Just The Way You Are
Moving Day

Sunday Stealing: Awkwardly Intriguing Questions

Link up here if you're playing along today!

1. What’s something you hide about your personality?

Online, and especially here in my little chunk of the blahgosphere, I don't really hide anything. What you see is what you get. But IRL, I hide a lot. Literally and figuratively. I don't like attention focused on me, I don't usually speak my mind face-to-face, and I am painfully shy. Most people who read my mind blahg, I mean, not mind! probably wouldn't have guessed that. People who think they know me generally don't.

2. How do you deal with criticism?  

I don't handle it well, to be honest. I have quite a bit of paranoia about it. I generally feel that if you don't like something I'm doing, you must hate me. It goes along with my first answer from yesterday's Saturday 9; when you're told constantly what a piece of shit you are, you tend to believe it. If you're going to criticize me, please be gentle and couch it in love. Otherwise, I tune out. Or cry. Or both.

3. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Every Mother's Day, all I ask for is a clean house. I don't think I've ever gotten it. It's okay.

4. Which fictional character would you most like to have lunch with and why?  

Anne Shirley from the Green Gables series. I think she'd be immensely entertaining, for one thing, and just generally good company.

5. Who would you say is your “anti” role model? Someone who serves as a warning rather than an inspiration?

Oh, that's an easy one: My evil stepmother. She taught me exactly how not to parent my own children. Everything she did, everything she was, is the opposite of how I want to be. I'm breaking the cycle of abuse: the buck stops here.

6. What’s the most infuriating thing your parents (or caregiver) do?

My father is so self-centered, even my then-seven year-old told him that the world doesn't revolve around him but rather the sun. I grew up as the "yes, Daddy, anything you say, Daddy" kid and was therefore his favorite. (Why? Because I needed his protection from his wife.) When I went off to college and got a mind of my own, that stopped completely. We're not that close anymore. I hold him at arm's length now. I'm pretty sure he hates it.

7. Which movie character do you most identify with and why?

Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind really spoke to me. I'm not saying I have that level of genius, but I feel locked inside my own brain much of the time, to the point that it sabotages my relationships. I'm lucky to have such a supportive, understanding husband. 

8. You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy?  

I'd go right for the jugular, like she did. I'd make it slow and painful, like she did. And I wouldn't let her say a word in defense of herself, like I couldn't. I'd get in close and quiet, and calmly ask, "How do you like me now, bitch?" and lock eyes with her, like I never never could before. Ooh, sounds evil... but I'm the good guy in this story.

9. What’s the oddest term of endearment you’ve ever used or that someone’s used for you?

It's either "Willis," which is my term of endearment for everybody, or "Chicken Poop," which I reserve especially for Chloë (my 11yo). I have no idea why I say the latter.

10. What was something you used to enjoy, but was ruined for you? What’s the story behind that?  

I used to love to sing and dance in public, but when I was 15, my stepmother said she wasn't going to continue paying for lessons. She said, and I quote, "I wasn't worth paying for." {{Ugh, I mistyped again. Obviously, she was talking about me and not herself. Der.}} She didn't buy me food or feminine hygiene products or anything after that. Life sucked.

11. Which mythological creature are you most like? Why? And if you could be any mythological creature, which would you want to be? Why?  

I'm like the mythical Phoenix, rising from the ashes. During my childhood, after Mom died and The Bitch From Hell came along, my joy was obliterated and I became a completely different person, angry, hostile, and afraid to live life. But I'm overcoming that and becoming ME again, anew. That suits me fine, I guess.

12. Describe your dream library.  

There would be an endless supply of books, and ladders that I could ride down the length of it on, and I would lend them out to only my reponsible friends. ;) And cushy, comfy chairs to curl up in, and a fireplace - away from the books - and a viewing/listening center for audio-visual materials - and a bathroom, and a snack bar. And a dog for a companion, at all times.

13. If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like?  

I'm pretty tame when it comes to the rides I ride, but in reality, I'm a little wild and crazy, a little spontaneous, and I embrace the unexpected. So I can't tell you; you'd have to find out for yourself. And no two rides would ever be the same.

14. Do you have any “rules” about food? 

My number one rule is NO MUSTARD. I not only hate it, but I have a phobia about it. I have no idea why.

No mammals; I don't eat 'em.

I was a marine biologist pre-marriage, so I can't eat anything I've studied. I take that on a case-by-case basis. I'll pretty much never eat Littorina ziczac - but who does?

No raw tomatoes; they make me gag.

No mushrooms; I don't do fungus as a general rule.

No baked beans. Even the smell of them makes me puke.

And for the kids: take what you want, but eat what you take! No wasting. I hate waste.

15. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

I say, unless it's statutory rape, then go for it! Who am I to judge? As long as you're both happy and consenting adults, it's fine.

16. What’s something you want to do that you’d be embarrassed to tell other people about?

The only thing I would be embarrassed to tell are some of my sexual exploits, past, present and future. Those don't get written about here. Everything else is fair game, I think.

17. Describe a time/event in your life that you’re nostalgic for.

Of course, I would give anything to have my mom and son back to have and to hold...

Well, this was kind of a depressing post from me today, huh? Sorry about that, but it's real. It's always real.

Have a good week, y'all.