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Funny Femme Tweets

File:HuffPost.svg - Wikimedia Commons

If you ever read Huff Post, you might already be familiar with this, but if not, I'm going to share with you:

Each Saturday, they run a list of the "Funniest Tweets From Women," and I usually get a kick out of a good many of those. I've often posted my list on Facebook, but as I'm posting less and less there, I'm going to reclaim this blahg as my main space and put them here instead. This is just a list of my favorites from their list, so I'll also link you to their list each week. Enjoy!

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From @omgskr: "My mom’s 60-something friend was set up with a 67-year-old guy who is 'not looking for anything serious' in case you think that ever ends" Laughing Emoji Holds LOL Sign Stock Vector - Illustration of background,  good: 211552619

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As a mom, this one from @muna_mire absolutely killssss me: "I went on a hike with my mother and when she saw a chipmunk eating an acorn she shook her head and said 'he’s making a big mess'"  Rofl Emoji GIF - Rofl Emoji Laugh - Discover & Share GIFs

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@brittymigs offers: "No piece of comedy is as funny as your friend accidentally saying a word a little bit wrong" - and is that not the truest thing ever?! Truer still if it's your husband, I'd venture to say.

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This one from @missmayn isn't actually funny, per se, but I agree with it so much I'm adding it here: "it's actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing and so many people are still like, no thanks the suffering is what makes it special." Tsk tsk, people.

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@feederofcats tweeted: "just saw a kid in petsmart with his hands and face pressed against an adoptable cat's glass cage telling the cat they need to "form a plan" because his mom said no and whispering his full home address to the cat. i think the kids will be alright" melt

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@sleepyem1 has an idea I can totally get down with: "fuck wine tasting is soup tasting a thing??? trying loads of soups with fresh bread??? please??? anyone else???" - Right?!!!

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@KellyOhlert, a romance author, tells us, "Grandma: I checked your book out from the library, but I wrinkled it a little bit before I returned it, so people would know it's popular. I'm retiring from marketing. Grandma is taking over." I giggled profusely.

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Welp, that's my favorites for the week. Did you see any that particularly tickled you?

Have a good one.

Fin.


Sunday Stealing: The Queen's Meme

Hi everyone! Welcome back. I'm seriously not feeling well right now, so it's anyone's guess whether I'll be able to finish this post. Worth giving it a shot!

Link up here if you want to play along this weekend.

~*~*~*~*~


Stolen from The Queen's Meme

January usually has ample amounts of snowfall in parts of the world. Did you ever make snow cream as a kid?

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The only time I ever did was in my senior year of high school, when we made it one day in my AP Biology class (must have been right before Christmas break, or something). I've made it with my kids, too, while we were homeschooling.

January is one of the months with 31 days. What are you going to do with that extra day?

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I've never really considered that an extra day. That day is payday, so I'll be looking at the budget and checking off boxes that day, I guess.

What is your favorite magazine?

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Growing up, my grandmother had a stash of Reader's Digest back issues here, there, and everywhere. Eventually, I think I read them all during visits. I think I have the current issue on my night table right now. She also bought the Star, Enquirer, and I think a third tabloid every week, too, and People - all of which I also read when I was there. I still read People, but Martha Stewart Living is currently my favorite. I love her!
 
If you live to be 99 years old, what would you like your life to be like in that last decade??

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With Lyme, I really don't think I'll live that long. But if I do, I'd like my mental faculties to be intact, and I would like to be free of this constant, agonizing pain.

The great world of Wikipedia tells me that scientists claim 99% of all documented species are extinct. Which remaining species in the 1% category would you really like to see extinct?  And which species in the 99% category would you like to bring back?

Image result for the far side mammoth

I would love for ticks and mosquitos to be eradicated - but that would also be a bad thing (at least the skeeters). I would love to see a mammoth! (Also I had the The Far Side book this particular cartoon was in; and also, I had the weiner dog one. So funny!)

On January 14, 1986 motorists were required for the first time to wear seat belts? Do you always buckle up? Why or why not?

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Man, I remember when that changed. My father pitched a fit - and he still doesn't wear them! I always wear them, and if I'm driving, the car doesn't go until everyone is buckled up. Why? Because I appreciate their purpose and also the data that backs up the fact that they save lives.

Why did the cow jump over the moon?

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I don't know - to get to the other side?

Have you said anything in the last 24 hours that you regret?

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Not this time! Ask me tomorrow.
 
Have you ever written anything on your blog that you wish you could take back?

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No... There have been some interesting moments after a few things I've posted, but I wouldn't take any of it back. All of the past stuff has been mostly written and forgotten. When we lived in Miami and Chloë started reading it, she would exclaim over this or that that I wrote. It was fun reliving some things!

Are you the blabber or the blabbee? Tell us your most embarrassing blabbermouth moment.

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Oh, I'm definitely a blabbermouth with NO filter. I've had a ton of "oops, I shouldn't have said that" moments. Probably a lot of them happened with my mother-in-law. I've always been certain that our baby, Sophia, who looks just like me and nothing like Rob - unlike Chloë, Jack, and presumably Robby (Jack's identical twin) - has been suspected of having a different father by my in-laws. I've always wanted them to request a DNA test, because I KNOW he is the father. No one else could be. Once, on the phone with my MIL, I joked, "Just do a DNA test! I have no fears! Besides, she's the wrong color if she did have a different dad!" ...crickets...

How important is a cell phone in your life?

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Once upon a time, there were no cell phones... Yeah, I depend on it pretty hard. Right now my phone isn't holding a charge, and I can't get it above 8% or so. It's frustrating because most of what I do is on that phone! I've got to trade up PDQ, I guess.
 
A "cuisine" is typically influenced by and named after geographical regions and cultures. Pretend your blog is a country. What is the name of your cuisine?

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Crazy Fusion cuisine

You are the Blog Paparazzi! Which blogger's real photograph are you most interested in getting?

Janice and Susan

Hmm. Well, all of you, since we've been doing this thing together for so many years, but I think I've been following the blog 5 Minutes for Mom the absolute longest. I'm "friends" with Janice and Susan on Facebook, and Janice and I have chatted a few times. Maybe when we sail out of Vancouver, B.C. for our Alaskan cruise in September, she'll meet me at the airport for a selfie?!

Are you always on time or just a tad late?

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I'm usually early. Before I got married I was always very prompt. I still abhor being late. In the Navy (and I presume with every other branch of the military), being 15 minutes early is "on time," and being on time is considered late. So with that in mind, and having four kids in 3½ years, we learned to s.c.r.a.m.b.l.e. for appointments!!

Can you think of a time when you were late for something and it was REALLY a big deal?

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Well, yeah. Lots of times. For choir, we obviously had to be at the school - or wherever our performance was - dressed and ready to go well before showtime. My stepmother made it a point to screw with me, trying to destroy everything in my life that was important to me. She screamed at me every single day for something - even things she had to invent if there was nothing she could see. On concert days, she screamed about three times as long, to make sure I not only walked in extremely late, but I'd be a mess from crying, and everyone was staring at me. And I hated attention.

If you were on your way to work and had five minutes to get there, would you stop in the road to rescue a crossing turtle?

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Sure, and I have done this many times - especially in Tampa when I was on my way to one of my grad classes or teaching the lab.

When you are having a really good day, what usually makes it good?

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Hmm. Usually it's a productive day, with many things crossed off my to-do list. (By the way, here's the rest of that list, above; it's worth a read.) Maybe I got a nice compliment that carried me through the day. Or maybe a good package came in the mail. But productivity is pretty key!

What is the most annoying Christmas song?

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Growing up, my dad always got a big kick out of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." Now I hate it.

You are Snow White. Which dwarf is your favorite and why?

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I hate to be cliché, but I think Dopey. He's sweet, and he tries really hard!

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Well, y'all, speaking of productivity, I have a few things I'd like to do before my brain shuts down and tells me it's time for the first nap of the day.

I hope you're all having a great weekend!

Fin.


Saturday 9: No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)

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Hey, y'all. It's the Saturday before Thanksgiving, and we are sooo not ready. I haven't been around much - either here or in real life - because right now, I'm fighting Lyme more than ever before. It's knocked me down a peg or nine, that's for sure! But enough about that. Let's get on with it! 

Link up here if you're playing along this week.

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Saturday 9: No More Tears (Enough Is Enough) 1979

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) These lyrics use weather as metaphor for romance. Here at Saturday 9, we're more literal. How do the skies look where you are this morning?

Right now it's a chilly but very sunny 46ºF. I don't have the blinds open or anything to really see that, though, because I have a migraine. And that sunlight stabs me right in the eyeballs!

2) According to Merriam-Webster, "enough is enough" is what you say when you want something to stop because you "can no longer accept or deal with it." When did you recently say -- out loud or to yourself -- "enough is enough"?

Image result for Devin Nunes

Well, first, I would probably have more likely said the equivalent in Spanish: "No puedo soportar más." And I don't know exactly when it would have been, but certainly regarding the impeachment trials going on in the US right now, maybe regarding this latest news by Lev Parnas implicating Devin Nunes in the Ukraine scandal.

Or maybe it was pain from the Lyme. Yeah, maybe that.

3) Grammy winner Luther Vandross began his career as a background singer and performed on "No More Tears." Tell us about one of your early jobs.

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I've worked a lot of jobs here and there. For a while, when I was an undergrad at the University of Miami, I worked three jobs while going to school full-time, often taking the max amounts of credits I could take (20 per semester). For my work-study job, I worked in the UM Office of Alumni Relations. Part of my duties included locating alumni (this would have been starting in 1994, so technology didn't make that as easy then as it would be now), making sure we had their current contact information, and then asking them to make a donation when the request came in the mail. I hated that job. So now that I'm on the other end of those phone calls, I try to make it as easy as possible on the poor schmoes who are calling me!

4) Both Donna Summer and Barbra Streisand made slight changes to their first names. Summer was christened "LaDonna," while Streisand's parents spelled her name the more conventional "Barbara." When she was in high school, meme mistress Samantha Winters went from "Sammy" to "Sam." Did you ever make a similar change to your first name?

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No. Why would I? That description fits me to a "T." I used to hate it, but now I find it to be a beautiful name and not so common that I personally know 20 other people with the same name. Plus, my mother changed my name from my father's mother's name (Eleanor) to Melanie on my birth certificate when he was out of the room. Love that, too!

People do try to bastardize my name and call me Melodie or Melody, though. It doesn't bother me as much when they misunderstand what I've said, but recently, I honestly quit a writing program important to me wherein someone in my committee read my name, and then wrote back to me, writing "Melody" instead. I was honestly not so much offended by that - because, let's be honest, I'm used to it - as by the ludicrous notion that I would want to be affiliated with a program putting such illiterates in with me. Call me elitist, but you should always strive to get someone's name correct when you're reading it right there in front of you. Am I right?

5) Hair was higher maintenance in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Streisand and Summer are both sporting styles that would require chemical treatment, like a perm or relaxer. Today's looks are less rigidly styled and tend to be smoother or slightly messy. How often do you change your look?

Melanie Piggies

I'm pretty fickle capricious. I change my look a lot. I never look the same at the end of the year as I did at the beginning of the year. (This picture is from January 2019.)

6) In 1979, it seems every kid was asking Santa for Star Wars toys. Some things don't change, since the Star Wars franchise remains popular with children and toymakers after more than 40 years. What book or toy did you love as a child that remains popular today?

Image result for Anne of Green Gables

Oh, lots of things, probably. I was a huge fan of the Nancy Drew books, and I read the Anne of Green Gables series again and again. And now, I feel like reading it again!

7) Thinking of things that endure ... In 1979, the #1 show in the ratings was 60 Minutes. It's still on, every Sunday night, and in the summer of 2019 it came in at #4 in the Nielsen ratings. What's the most recent show you watched? Was it news, sports or entertainment?

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I've been balancing out my news coverage with the latest episodes of Ellen and Jeopardy! Thank goodness for DVR! (BTW, I made Hubs really sad the other night when I told him I don't want to go on Jeopardy! anymore. That's been a life-long Bucket List item since before I had a Bucket List. But now that I'm really sick, and Alex Trebek is really sick... it doesn't look so good for either one of us. If I live long enough to enter remission, he probably won't be the host anymore. But if he is... we'll revisit these thoughts.)

8) In 1979, the price for a dozen eggs averaged 85¢. Today, it's about twice that. Are you more likely to use eggs to prepare a main course (like an omelette or Eggs Benedict) or as part of a recipe (anything from a cake to a meatloaf)?

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Neither - and not just because I'm allergic to eggs (which makes getting some of my vaccines a challenge). #vegan

9) Random question: You’re alone in your car, driving through your neighborhood on a bright, sunny day. You get a flat tire. You have a spare and a jack in your trunk. Would you fix it yourself or call for help?

Image result for changing a tire funny

I know how to change a tire, and I have done it before, but right now I just do not have the strength. Thankfully, we finally now have AAA for that - and we have used them!

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Take care, you guys. I'll be back later for some Sunday Stealing. Y'all in? 

Fin.


Saturday 9: The Addams Family

Image result for The Addams Family Gif

BOO!

Howdy, everybody! Welcome back to another fun edition of Saturday 9, brought to us by the wonderful Crazy Sam. Since Hallowe'en was last night, this week's question center around the theme song to the deliciously creepy show, The Addams Family. Fun!

Link up here if you're playing along today!

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The Addams Family (1964)
Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.
 
1) One of TV's spookiest families was inspired by a series of New Yorker cartoons. What's the last magazine you flipped through?

Image result for laura dern magazine cover

When I received the latest issue of Town & Country magazine in the mail the other day, I noticed down there on the bottom right where Laura Dern was quoted as saying, "I will NOT be rich!" But, umm... after I flipped through 20-some pages of Cartier diamonds and the like, I finally found the article. She is wealthy beyond measure compared to most of us, along with talented and famous. I still can't figure out that quote.

2) The Addams' butler, Lurch, was originally conceived as a mute. But then actor Ted Cassidy ad libbed the line, "You rang?" and Lurch had a voice, and a catchphrase. Can you think of another catchphrase connected to a TV character?

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I had a crush on Joey Lawrence way back on first his days on Gimme a Break! and then Blossom. He was so hot! (He still is, but I think now he's so careful with his grooming that it turns me off.) Anyway, I haven't thought of this in a while, so it amused me when my first thought was his "Whoa!" catchphrase from Blossom

3) Now here's the most important question of the week: Do you prefer The Addams Family or The Munsters?

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Oh, that's just not fair! But by a slim margin, I think I lean toward The Munsters. I love them both!

4) What's the scariest movie you've ever seen?

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I'm not a fan of the horror movie genre, so I don't watch many of them. I was forced to watch many as a kid, and I still have nightmares. Right after my mother died, my dad forced me to sit through Children of the Corn on HBO. I was seven. I was terrified. This entertained him. Bastard.

5) Thursday was Halloween. What goodies did you give the trick or treaters?

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Hubs bought Reese's peanut butter cups and Kit-Kats, along with Dum-Dums and fun pencils so we didn't leave out the TPP kiddos.

6) Are you attending/have you attended any Halloween parties this year?

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No, not this year. Hardly ever, really.

7) Did you carve a jack o'lantern this year?

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Oh, my God! With everything we had going on last month, I completely forgot!

8) Do you eat candy corn all year around ... only at Halloween ... or never?

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N. E. V. E. R.

9) In 1964, when The Addams Family premiered, one of the most popular store-bought Halloween costumes was Bambi. It came with a plastic mask held on by a thin elastic band. Tell us about a memorable Halloween costume from your childhood.

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I was a dancer until I was 15, so a lot of times when Halloween rolled around, if I hadn't come up with a costume yet I just wore something from the last recital!

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Snow in Mountain Home 10262019

I hope y'all had a spookily fun night on Halloween. Now, onward - happy November! We've already had snow here in Idaho, as of one week ago. (And at least once more since. Have you?!)

I am not ready.

Cheers,

Fin.


Saturday 9: Shake It Off

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Welcome back, y'all! Well, as you can see I didn't die from my excessively-busy weekend last week (although, as predicted, no comments on my late-entry Sunday Stealing, lol). It's been another busy week as I've kept up and pushed through for the sake of my newfound purpose: Activism. Giving a damn just feels good, you know? Not that I didn't before, of course, but now that I give a damn AND am learning more and better tools to do something about it, it feels really validating.

Anyhoo. My then-14yo daughter Chloë and I saw Taylor Swift perform "Shake It Off" at her 1989 concern in Miami, in October 2015, so this is an exciting one for me. I'd like to think this is a special present to me from Crazy Sam, therefore, but we all know better.

Let's get on with it then, shall we? Link up here if you're a wacky joiner, like we be.

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Shake It Off (2014)

Unfamiliar with this week's song. Hear it here.
 
1) This song makes Crazy Sam want to dance. What song inspires you to get on your feet?

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So, so, so many songs. Back in grad school, it was Lou Bega doing Mambo No. 5. Love that song!

2) Paul McCartney met Taylor Swift at the SNL 40th Anniversary special and told her he really enjoys playing and singing this song. What's the last song you sang along with?

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I've been playing Hamilton nonstop for the last several days. I haven't had my singing voice in 2+ years, much, but I still can't help it when it comes to Lin-Manuels words. The girls and I would DIE to be able to go see Hamilton in real life!

3) The lyrics tell us Swift "shakes off" nasty gossip and unfair criticism. What about you? Do you worry about what others think of you?

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I've always been one to take to heart - forever and for all my days - the harsh words (and thoughts I imagine) that others have had for me. I turned 43 on 9/8, though, and I feel like this is finally starting to become my time to "shake it off." 

4) Her parents are big music fans, and were going to name their baby (boy or girl) "Taylor" after their favorite artist, James Taylor. Can you think of a singer that your mom and/or dad really enjoyed?

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This is a painful question for me. When my mother died in 1984, she and my dad had three Ronnie McDowell tapes on pretty heavy rotation in the car. I knew (still know) all the songs. We even went to a Ronnie McDowell/Conway Twitty concert in Syracuse shortly before her death, which I remember pretty clearly for a 7yo.

When I was in college and "home" at my dad's for the first summer, I went snooping through his old pictures and things. I found those three Ronnie McDowell tapes and "liberated" them, 😏 along with a gazillion pictures of my mother.

Then, coming up on one year ago, I happened to find some Ronnie McD songs on... YouTube? Amazon? I don't even know. I gave a listen to them and found myself disgusted by much of the overtly sexist, somewhat predatory lyrics on a song or three. I posted what I thought was a rather innocent update about that on the book of faces, and my dad lost his shit about it, basically about what a liberal treehugger I have become (have always been, hate to break the news to ya, Pops). I told him I was sorry he'd been so foolish to buy into Trump's lies, and he said the immortal words to me, "Just leave me alone."

I haven't spoken to him since. (P.S. No great loss. That narcissistic, abusive, sexist louse is a Trump wannabe through-and-through, and I'm better off not giving a damn what he thinks of me or what he thinks, period.) But intensive therapy ensues.

I5) She grew up on an 11-acre Christmas tree farm. Do you get a fresh tree every year, or do you have an artificial tree, or do you not put up a tree at all?

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We usually do an artificial tree. It's just easier with all the dogs and cats and their excessive curiosity. At some point, I'd like to put up at least three in this house - but I don't think we'll have the budget for it just yet this year. This white flocked tree was last year's.


6) Taylor Swift is 5'10". According to the CDC, the average American woman is 5'4" while men are, on average, 5'9". Are you taller or shorter than average?

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At 5'1½", I'm shorter than average. But I've got 18-year-old Chloë beat. Like her paternal grandmother, she is maxed out at 4'10".

7) She enjoys good, old fashioned mysteries, especially those by Agatha Christie. Are you currently reading a book for pleasure?

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I'm just getting into Holding Up the Universe, by Jennifer Niven.
 
8) Her brother Austin is a freelance photographer who took the official pictures for her 2008 concert tour. Who took the last photo of you?

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That would be Christine Vorobieff, one of the other equestrian moms from Sophie's Pony Club, last Sunday.

9) Random question: What's your go-to comfy outfit?

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Sweats and a t-shirt, I guess. Now that illness rules the day, I dress for comfort; rarely for "cute."

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Thanks for the fun meme, Ms. Sam o' the Cray. Thanks for all you do for us!

Next steps in tackling the Climate Crisis involve this. Whatever you do, do something.

Fin.


Sunday Stealing: Colloquium

Hi, guys! It's 6 PM Mountain Time on Sunday - the first chance I've had to write this - essentially guaranteeing NO ONE will read nor comment on it.

I dare you to prove me wrong?!

Link up here if you want to join in the fray this fine Sunday.

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These are from From Colloquium, which has not published since 2012

Last person you were in a car with?

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We were coming home from an equestrian competition for Sophia, so in addition to the two of us, Rob was driving and Chloë was along for moral support.

Any plans for tomorrow?

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Well, heh, yeah... but we're out of gas and I've 3 dr appts to get to. I don't quite know how I'm going to manage that, yet...

Best friend or close friends?

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Um, both. Duh.

Is tomorrow going to be a good day?

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Oh, I don't know yet; I forgot to turn on my clairvoyance.

Ever thrown up in public?

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Oh yes. How high can you count? Yeah? More than that.

What’s on your mind RIGHT NOW?

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That it's about time for my post-Climate Strike (one of them, anyway) conference call, so 'scuse me while I multitask for a minute...

Who was the last person you talked to?

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Rob. I thanked him for taking away my empty place of cheese enchiladas.

What is the WORST subject they teach at school?

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For those who still teach it, Creationism, especially as the only "science" taught in those schools.

Have you seen anyone lately that you don’t get along with?

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Not lately, I don't think?

What is your favourite color top to wear?

Pass, on the grounds that it's irrelevant.

Have you ever been in a car accident?

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Yes, probably the worst of which was the time I was hit by a drunk driver. Did I ever tell y'all that story??

What’s the closest thing to you that’s green?

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My recycling bin 😉♻️

Where would you like to be right now?

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Anywhere right now not having this migraine

Is anything bugging you right now?

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Second verse, same as the first!

Is life going right for you now?

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It's... going.

Is there someone you care about more than yourself?

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Pretty much everyone... but most of all, these goons.

What made you laugh today?

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⬆ This. ⬆

What was the last movie you watched?

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I don't even know, but I really want to see Hustlers!

What was the last conversation you had about?

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Robert was just begging me not to overdose on the acetaminophen he had just brought home. I said, "No promises." He took it with him... /Endscene

What were you doing at 7:00 this morning?

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With back-to-back things going, I passed out after we left the ACLU Activitists' Academy yesterday and didn't wake up until 9 or 10 this morning. Autoimmune illness will do that to ya.

Do you like your hair long or short?

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I just like it when it looks good, however long it is...

Do you like the rain?

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Sure but, I mean, everything is relative...

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Fin.


Saturday 9: The Candy Man

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Hey there, swell people!! What's the haps?

IWILLBESTRIKING

I'm still coming down from the high off of organizing - and attending - the #ClimateStrike here in Mountain Home, Idaho. What a moment this is! Did you go? Did you strike? If not, WHY NOT?

And now back to our regular questions, brought by the lovely Crazy Sam:

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THE CANDY MAN (1972)
Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) This song is from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder. The movie was remade as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, with Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka. Which Wonka did you prefer?
 
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I guess I'm old-school on this one. I love the inimitable Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka!

2) In the movie, this song is sung by Bill, the candy store shopkeeper. Think about the last counter person you dealt with. We know that he or she likely didn't break into song, but did you two engage in conversation?
 
09192019 Twisted Ewe event

Yeah. Well. Last night, Chloë and I attended the "Sweater Weather Get-Together" at The Twisted Ewe, a yarn shop up in Boise. I engaged with several of the shop staff, and especially introduced myself to the young woman who runs their social media stuff, because I engage with her frequently, and I'd never met her in person. I also signed up to be a test knitter.

3) The lyrics tell us that The Candy Man can make the world taste good. What's the last thing you ate? Was it delicious, or just OK?
 
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I ate oatmeal with raisins. As you can probably guess, it was just okay. This morning I had oatmeal with flax and chia seeds. That was actually better - even though it was cold by the time I ate it.
 
4) The most popular recording of this song was by Sammy Davis, Jr. Sammy was in a horrific car accident when he was 29 years old. His cheek and nose were broken and he lost an eye. That he survived at all left him reflective and after his hospitalization, he converted to Judaism. Do you still worship in the faith you were raised in? 

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No. Not only no, but hell no. No, no, no, no, no.
 
5) Sammy was proud of the honorary college degrees he received because he never formally attended school. As a child, he performed on the road with his father and uncle. In addition to depriving him of an education, that lifestyle kept him from kids his own age. He would later describe his childhood as, "in a word, 'lonely.'" Give us a one-word description of your childhood.
 
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T R A U M A T I C
 
6) Because he spent so much of his youth on the road, living on buses, trains and hotel rooms, he loved eventually having his own kitchen and being able to cook his own meals. This weekend, will you spend much time in the kitchen?
 
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Probably not. Chloë and I are going to be in Boise all day tomorrow at the ACLU's Activist Academy, and then on Sunday we'll be watching Sophia at an equestrian competition. So maybe we'll have time to cash in on some more birthday freebies (like these delicious chocolate-covered strawberries from The Melting Pot) while we're out and about!

 7) Sammy enjoyed experimenting with clothes and jewelry. What about you? Do you consider yourself conservative in dress or are you fashion forward?
 
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Eh. Neither, maybe? I'm just me.

8) When he died, Sammy was in debt to the IRS. Do you handle your own taxes, or do you use the services of an accountant?
 
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I do 'em. Not worth much since Rob retired, though!
  
9) Random question: If you had to tell nothing but the truth (not even the tiniest white lie) for 24 hours, do you think you'd get yourself in trouble?
 
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Very much so, yes. Who wouldn't?
 
~*~*~*~*~
 
Arrright. I gotta prepare for the next thing. And then the next. Gotta remind myself of what my physical therapist, Susan, tells me: "Pacing, Melanie. Remember to pace yourself."
 
I'm not good at it, y'all!!!
 
♥ Take time for yourselves, and thank your hostess, Gal - er, Sam - she works hard for us. (I'm still sorry.) (P.S. I did know the song, of course, but I clicked the link and listened again, and then more of Sammy, and then on to some other stuff. Really light-hearted comedy and Adam Sandler and things I just truly, honestly needed right at this moment in time.) ♥
 
Fin.

Sunday Stealing: Love Me Some Questions Meme

Howdy do, neighbors. I've made it out of bed today, just before 1400, but that's not what counts. It took a lot of effort. If my bladder didn't make it imperative, I might still be in bed. But I digress.

First:

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I finished watching the Season 4 of Netflix's Queer Eye, and now I'm bereft as hell. I literally found myself looking through all the episodes from all the seasons, trying to see if I'd missed one. I hadn't. Boo! 😭😭

But moving along with life. Make sure you link up here if you're joining us this weekend!

~*~*~*~*~

These are from Love Me Some Surveys.

a. Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music?

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Of course! His taste in music runs with the likes of Bob Dylan, right?

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And this is more my frequency. (Also, that was some shady shit, Whit.)

Ya dig?

b. Is anyone’s birthday coming up?

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Yep. This boy, Robert Allen O, will be 47 in six days!!! 😳🤭🎂🎂 Happy early birthday, baby!

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But that's not all! A week after that, the curly girlie on the left, Chloë Raine O, will be 18! 🎂🎂

I cannot even handle that, y'all! I just cannot.

But wait, there's more! Her mother, the lady on the right (that's me!) is turning 43 (ughhhh) one day later. (Why can no one ever remember it's 9/8/76? Easiest birth date ever, y'all!)

So yup. It's birthday season 'round here!

 c. Do you remember who you liked in grade eight?

Mike Amati

Yup. M was a cutie! He still is... but that picture there is 11 years old. Nowadays, what hair is left is mostly just stubble. Still a cutie. Whatever.

d. When was the last time you burned any part of your body?

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Y'all may remember? I blogged about it back then, in January 2017. I had never cooked a real steak in my life (because making cube steaks for the dogz in my single days totally does not count, you guys), and I have not eaten beef since August 1995. No plans to restart. But my boy likes steak, so for our 15th anniversary, I thought I'd make him a proper one.

It did not go the way I planned, the HOT! oil splattered, and I ended up in the ER instead. In fact, I went in by myself so he could eat his steak, because I refused to ruin his steak dinner any further. 🤣 No lie, mesdames.

Anyway, 2½ years later, right now, it looks like this:

Burned Arm

Honestly, and I would not lie to you for one moment: it did not hurt. It did not hurt one bit, and the scarring isn't bad, is it? Truth: I used a shit-ton of straight Young Living lavender oil on that burn, raw, open, and errrrythang. Like, the whooooole bottle. Because lavender is used in burn salves, and you know what? That shit worked. And then, when it was all closed up, I used Jafra Royal Jelly to heal the skin. 

Not bad. Not too bad at all. I'd do it again.

e. If I gave you ten dollars, what would you spend it on?

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Gas. Seriously. I love our new house. Not gonna lie. Love, love, love our house. But all of my doctors are in Boise, so we're hurting for gas money constantly nowadays. Kinda sucks. Sometimes I have to cancel the week's worth of my appointments - and there are many - because there just isn't any gas to get out there. And then I get angry letters in the mail about my canceled appointments. Really?! Are you putting gas in my tank?

It's hard. I keep re-budgeting and re-budgeting, but when you're two disabled folks living on a retired enlisted veteran's pension... it's a challenge.

f. What are you most excited about right now?

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I'm excited to see what comes next for the adult version of Chloë. I know great things are in her future!

g. Does / did either of your parents serve in the military?

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My  p---y-@$$ sperm donor was in the CG for five or six minutes. He thought because he was "smart" (truth is, he only thinks he's smart, and this is from someone who actually is), he'd be able to get one of his superiors to set him up in OCS. Instead, he swabbed poop deck after poop deck and probably cried about it - literally - the whole time. How long was he in? One blink? Two blinks? Not long. Meanwhile, he tries to square up with my husband, who did 20 full years, some during wartime in the Middle East, in the Navy. And with my beloved grandfather (my mom's dad, mind you), who served in the Navy during WWII in Europe. And my uncle (mom's brother) who served in the Navy. And my FIL, who was a submariner in the Navy during the Cold War. You know? Dad. Ya weren't shit then. You aren't shit now. And ya ain't never gonna be shit.

h. Are you somewhat of a perfectionist?

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Oh, yeah. You could say that. It's taking me years, and it will continue to take many more, but I am trying to learn to accept good enough when that's all I need. It's hard going teaching Chloë this, as well.

f. Do you like sour candy?

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I don't mind it now and then, but I swear it's like one of the major food groups for my kiddos!

g. Are all nighters something you have grown used to?

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I have pretty erratic sleeping habits, so yeah, I've grown accustomed to it.

h. Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving?

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I wear 'em whenever I need 'em.

i. Do you wear your shoes around the house?

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Since I have virtually no immune system, and the next major infection could very well be my last, I try very hard to enforce our strict "no shoes" policy.

j. What clothes are you most comfortable in?

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What this woman has on, I could live in. Now I want it!

k. Are you good at painting nails?

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I have no special skills. My sister's a pro, though.

j. Smoothies or slushies?

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I'm impartial, as long as the slushy contains real fruit and, if must be, a non-sugar sweetener, or if the smoothie contains almond or coconut milk or similar dairy substitute. I'm not being picky. I'm just allergic to life!

~*~*~*~*~

Thanks for another fun questionnario, Bev! Hope you all have a great last week of August 2019. Maaaaaan, this year has flown by!

Fin.


Saturday 9: No One's Here To Sleep

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How ya doin', folks? Welcome back. Click here if you want to join the rest of the Saturday 9 gang this week!

But first, a few things:

First, Viola Davis, go on with yo' fine self.

Second, this is the first time I've been out of bed for any length of time since Sunday night, when I went out to dinner with Hubs. I have a dizzying amount of health issues, and just the simple act of having a birthday dinner (his) out has worn me out that much. I hate it.

Finally, do a Google search for The Wizard of Oz. Then click on the ruby red shoes. And then, click on the tornado. Then come back here. Fun, right?!

Now let's begin:

~*~*~*~*~

Saturday 9: No One's Here to Sleep (2013)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is the theme of How to Get Away with Murder, the legal drama that premiered in 2014 and airs on Thursday nights. Are you a fan?

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I have never watched it. Yet. Should I?

2) The song's refrain says, "I'll never catch up with you." Behind the wheel, do you carefully observe the speed limit? Or do you have a lead foot, making it hard for anyone to catch up with you?

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I definitely have a lead foot - and I have the speeding tickets to prove it! There are a lot of 25 MPH roads here in Mountain Home, Idaho, which has made the transition from Boise (and before that, Miami) particularly difficult for me. It's impossible! So the first thing I do when I leave the house is turn on the cruise control, which fortunately starts at 25 MPH in our vehicle, so that I can't get any (more) tickets here. My current peeve is that the two-lane interstate from here to Boise, or anywhere else for that matter, allows 18-plus-wheelers to pass in the left lane, but they can only go 70 MPH. Except the speed limit is 80 MPH! So we're often stuck rolling our eyes, gnashing our teeth, and gripping the steering wheel in frustration behind those Macks.

3) How to Get Away with Murder is about Annalise Keating, a law professor at a top Philadelphia university. She has a reputation for being tough, demanding and able to turn her students into successful defense attorneys. Tell us about a teacher who helped prepare you for life after graduation.

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I had many great teachers and professors, so it's hard for me to single one out. But I will. At the University of Miami, I took Physics I and II from a gent who used to write "IAEFRTGDI" on the chalkboard before every exam. And then he'd read it aloud, pointing to each letter in turn: "If all else fails, read the g-- d--- instructions!" to remind us that, if we were stuck on a problem, to do exactly that. He'd just pause for the "G-D-" parts, giving us all a giggle. But that was 25 years ago, and I've obviously never forgotten his lesson!

4) The students she feels show the most promise - and are recruited to help her solve murders - are known as The Keating Four. Did you ever sense that you were your teacher's favorite?

Melanie Ann 6yo

It was always pretty rare for me not to be the teacher's pet.

5) Viola Davis was just nominated for an Emmy for playing Professor Keating. Ms. Davis was born on a farm in SC. Have you spent more of your life in a rural, suburban or urban setting?

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That's Chloë and me on South Beach (Miami) on New Year's Eve, 2015 - I had just started getting sick that year, and that night really took a lot out of me. But I digress. I'm a city girl, through-and-through. Now I live in land-locked Idaho. Or I'm dying here. Either way, I've asked Hubs to take me to the beach at least every couple of years or so. I miss it more than I could ever convey.

6) Next to Annalise Keating, Viola Davis is best known for her Oscar-nominated role as Aibileen in the movie, The Help. Have you seen it?

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I have, and while we (my daughters and I) loved it, I was a bit disappointed because it was historically inaccurate. They could have done a lot more to celebrate and elevate the true stories those black actresses portrayed.

7) In 2014, the year How to Get Away with Murder premiered, we lost two famous comedians: Robin Williams and Joan Rivers. Who was the last person to make you laugh out loud? (This means actually, literally laughing out loud, not just keystroking LOL.)

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I mean, I'm a legit nerd and don't mind it, but yes, all of these (and more) individually and collectively made me laugh aloud. In fact, I wanted to keep looking and enjoying, but then I remembered I had unfinished business here with Sam. ;)

8) The 2014 Olympics were held in Sochi. Have you ever been to Russia? If not, is it a dream destination of yours?

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I want to see the whole world, but the idea of going to Russia draws a great big "meh" out of me. Is it enough that my grandpa went there?

9) Random question: The sign on the railing says, "Wet Paint." Do you touch the railing to see if it's really wet?

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Probably. At least nine times out of 10 I would, anyway. In one of my Animal Behavior lectures, Prof told us of a study - probably by Konrad Lorenz - wherein four different species were suspended in a net that allowed the dangling of one or more legs. Initially, when a leg was dangled, it hit a surface that delivered a painful electric shock. (Ugh, I hate these studies.) Anyway, the animals studied included a cat, a pig, a dog, and a monkey. We students had to guess which animal then exhibited which behavior: one never, ever put down its leg again. Was it smart, having learnt its lesson? One waited awhile and then tried again. Another maybe waited longer? I forget. And the fourth continuously put down that leg, time and time again. Was it stupid, forgetting each time about the shock? Or was it just following its genetic predisposition to test a thing to see if something new and different would happen? I believe that last animal was the cat. (In the first case, I believe it was... the pig! Surprised?) Long story short, I am like the cat. I always need to test everything to see if it's true, or still true. The more data I can collect about Life, the more accurate I'll be, right?

~*~*~*~*~

Y'all have a good weekend. And FFS, please stop confusing your Batesian and Müllerian mimicry, wouldja? So distasteful. ;)

Fin.


Sunday Stealing: Swap-Bot Questionnaire

Welcome, welcome, kids of all ages!

Thanks for all the well wishes about my eardrum rupturing Friday. It definitely wasn't fun, but I've had problems with that ear since we came up from 0' above sea level in Miami to ~2500' above sea level in Boise over two years ago. That ear just did not want to make the trip! The constant Val Salvo maneuver is my life now. When I do it now, the air screams out of that hole in my eardrum so loudly that Rob and the kids can hear, too. It's weird.

Anyway!

Link up here if you want to play along with the rest of us this weekend.

~*~*~*~*~

Swap-Bot asked people to post questions they would like to answer.  Bev copied them all and put together this brief selection.

What do you enjoy about summer?

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I like the carefree, mostly-unscheduled nature of it, the freedom, the warmth, everything. It seems like the most "come as you are" season of the year.

Do you like snow? Why?

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haaaaate snow. I grew up in Syracuse, New York, the lake-effect snow capitol of the world. I've done my time! If that isn't 'nuff said, then also, it means I'll be c-c-c-cold, and being cold causes me intense pain nowadays. Then there's the blackish-brown crap that gets all over everything after the street cleaners come through the place. That's three reasons, but I could go on.

What do you think about dogs?

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I am a dog lover, through and through. (But then, I love all animals!)

Have you ever gotten lost?

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Oh, I'm the genius who perpetually gets lost outside her own driveway - especially if she tries to "wing it" and turns off Google Maps to get there. I have no sense of direction!!

What are your favorite type of socks?

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This is gonna sound like I'm joking, but I promise you I'm not: Most of my socks are hospital socks. I have texture issues, and the socks from the hospital don't bug those at all. In fact, my friend Gwyn sent me a boatload of her husband's old hospital socks upon hearing this, and I love her for it! I always keep my hospital socks when I've been there.

What is your favorite style of shoes?

Crocs.

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I used to wear these Crocs Cypress heels a lot, but I can't wear heels anymore now that falling is a constant risk for me.

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Now I wear almost exclusively Crocs, but it's more like these Patricia sandals, which I have in several colors. I had to give my Navy ones (above) to Sophia, though, because they stretch out over time and were no longer snug enough on my size 5½ feet.

What would you name your boat if you had one?

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It would be the Sweet Pea. Didn't even have to think about that one.

What common misconception do you hate to hear repeated as fact?

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I worked on the concept of "novice theory" for my graduate thesis, especially as it pertains to the Theory of Evolution. Note the caps on the latter presentation of the word, versus the former. And that's the crux of it: Most people don't understand the concept of Scientific Theory vs. the theories we bandy about day-to-day, in our normal, non-scientific lives, and suppose are correct. That of Evolution is well-founded in example after example, able to be observed by the human eye in a short time period, and is well-replicated inside and outside the lab. This is true whether it agrees with our own ideas of what religion should dictate or not. Sorry if you don't like it, Joe Schmo, but that's just the way it is.

What was the last shop you went into and what did you buy?

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I've been a couponer since birth. My mother taught me. After she died, my sister Stacey would cut all the coupons, and I would sort them into their respective categories. I continued doing that as I went to college, and on into adulthood. Now, things have gone high-tech, and I could teach Mom a thing or two! Chloë is a girl after my own heart: she loves to save a buck and cringes when she sees someone needlessly paying full price. I love to give away our haul to battered women's shelters, the families at the Ronald McDonald House, etc. So we thought we'd take $150 and see what we could get from Walgreens, Rite Aid, and CVS. I'm not sure which one was the last one we went into, but we ended up with well over $1,000 worth of merchandise.

What's your favourite thing to do to pass the time?

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Back in the day, I easily could've said "read." Now, I don't know... waste time online? When I was pregnant with Chloë, my aim was to spend the time, having hyperemesis gravidarum, catching up on the classics. Except, I stumbled across Sidney Sheldon works in the library and read all of those books instead. Quite a different thing! Since motherhood, I haven't exactly given myself permission to sit and read. I really need to re-learn how to allow myself that.

What is a way to die that scares you the most?

I would not like to suffocate or drown. The thought terrifies me.

Travel or homebody?

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Oh, I may be trapped in my body, but my body is not one to be trapped in Idaho. Plenty of World left for me to see!!

Have you ever gone to a Bingo hall?

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I have not.

What is the longest plane trip you have taken?

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Listen, you've never flown long-haul until you've moved from Panama City, Florida, to Guam whilst pregnant with twins, with a one-year-old child. And then flown back four months later... 🙄

Do you text more or call more? Why?

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I much prefer to text over calling. I have severe phone anxiety. So do several other members of my family. It's a thing. If you don't have have it, lucky you, but please don't let that diminish your capacity to understand that others do. (I'm a "yes" to all, btw.)

~*~*~*~*~

Well, on that cheerful note, I'll say buh-bye! LOL Tonight, after all, is the Matador dinner with Hubs, finally, after I felt like shit all day Saturday. Tequila!

Fin.


Sunday Stealing: Friday Five Meme

Hidey-ho, neigbors! (Name that TV show.) I took a much-needed nap today to try to sleep off some severe migraine & fibro pain, and when I woke up I had no idea what day or time it was. That seems to be increasingly common for me; so confusing! I hate that. But, it's still Saturday night, which means, based on the numer of times I get distracted and go do other things temporarily... I still have time to post this on Sunday! 😂

Link up here if you want to join the fray today! And we're off...

~*~*~*~*~

Questions from taken from Friday Five

Have you ever had a great conversation with a complete stranger?

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Sure! Once, Rob and I were on a high-end dinner mystery shop in downtown Miami, and when I came out of a stall in the ladies' room, the bathroom attendant and I struck up at least a 10-minute-long conversation that ended in hugs, laughter, and tears. We really connected, and it was so strange to try to write that up in my report without giving myself away.

Where did you go on the very first vacation of your life?

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My sperm donor has told me it was to North Carolina, but I definitely don't remember that.

Open the door of your refrigerator. What is the first thing you see?

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About half a dozen cartons of the fancy omega-3, pasture-raised, vegetarian-fed, etc. eggs - the only kind I can eat without having a severe allergic reaction.

What is your favorite place in your home?

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I don't know yet! It's so big, I feel like I haven't really had time in every place yet. I do love having a three-car garage, though. Maybe hitting that door-open and -close button, like a real grown-up, is my favorite thing!

If you had wings to fly about the universe, where is the first place you’d land?

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When I was a child, I had constant dreams about being able to fly away, escape, get to safety, etc. I also frequently dreamt I was heading to the moon. Those dreams were so vivid and realistic, I became convinced I actually could fly and had just forgotten how. So... the moon would be the first place I'd land.

What is the first thing you do when you get in your car?

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I have OCD, so the first thing my foot does is go on the brake pedal. And it remains there even when the car is turned off for long periods of time, like if I'm sitting in the car waiting for someone. I also jam the parking brake with my left foot, way down, and release it, and then repeat that several times.

What is special about the town you live in?

I posted this on Facebook about it today, actuallly:

Neighbors
What is the last thing you heard about your first love?

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He'd won a trip with his wife to Watkins Glen, New York's recent Nascar races, along with all kinds of racing accoutrement. I don't follow Nascar, but it looked like a great time for them to get away, so I was happy for 'em!

If you had created the world in seven days yourself, what would you have created on the First Day?

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I'd make empathy and compassion, and make it irrevocable in human beings.

How do you beat the summer heat?

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Swimming is my favorite!

Did you enjoy your Senior Year in high school?

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The home part, no, not at all; the school part, yes, absolutely!

Who is your favorite First Lady of all time?

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I've really liked a few, but in my lifetime, I think Michelle Obama takes the trophy.

Post a link to your first blog post.

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Well, this post is almost twelve years old, so it seems like ages in the lives of my kiddos! Wow, interesting for me to read - but probably boring for anyone else! (But my first blog post was actually well before that, on MySpace.)

When was the last time you needed First Aid?

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My physical therapist has gotten me using cupping as a means to quell my sore muscles from the constant muscle spasms I experience. I've gotten many a blister before, and/or worse, depending on your perspective of it. Really freaks out the kids... but I won't say too much. Don't wanna gross anyone out!

Can you explain what a first down is in football?

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Well, my understanding of it is very rudimentary, but without looking it up: The team who has the ball has four downs to make a touchdown. For each down, I think they need to make it ten yards closer to the goal line. I think if they do that, they get another set of four downs (if they haven't made a goal)? If the other team intercepts a pass, or the original team doesn't make their 40-yards over four downs, the ball passes to the other side. I think. Maybe?

~*~*~*~*~

Now I have to go look it up for real! ha! I feel silly even trying. I just know those UM fellas look pretty good in their new environmentally-friendly uniforms from Adidas!

I hope you all have a stellar week. Hoping to get around and read everyone's posts today. At least this week. Bear with me!

Cheers!

Fin.


Saturday 9: Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs

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Hey, y'all - welcome back! I'm in the throes of a full-on, true migraine right now, with visual aura, dizziness and nausea... the whole bit. But sleepiness, unfortunately, is not one of those symptoms, so here I am. All that to say, if my answers are sloppy, that's probably why. (This time; I can't excuse all the other times.)

Link up here if you wanna chit-chat with us about Frasier this week!

~*~*~*~*~

Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs (1993)

Unfamiliar with this week's song. Hear it here.

1) This is the theme from Frasier, a TV show that ran  from 1993 to 2004. Were you a fan?

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Definitely! That right there is my jam. Right up my alley.

2) The show is about a radio advice show host, Dr. Frasier Krane. When you listen to the radio, do you tune in for talk or music?

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I'm not really into talk radio. I feel like I'm supposed to be, intellectually speaking, but I just don't want to. I listen for the music.

3) The theme's composer explained that tossed salad and scrambled eggs are both "mixed up," like the people who called Frasier's radio show. Which did you eat more recently, tossed salad or scrambled eggs?

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I did eat eggs today - twice, since they are my main way to get my protein requirements in - but they were sunny-side up, over easy, on toast with a smidge of cheese. I haven't really had scrambled eggs in a long time. Maybe it's just not fancy enough for me? So anyway, probably a salad. Now I want a salad. A funny one, like these.

4) Peri Gilpin played Roz, Frasier's coworker at the radio station. The actress originally cast was Lisa Kudrow, but the show's producers didn't feel she was "right." Being released from Frasier gave her the opportunity to accept a bigger and better part: Phoebe on Friends. Can you think of a time when a setback was really a blessing in disguise?

Sure, like when the 100-year-old house we thought we loved in Kimberly, Idaho, came back with a plethora of safety and repair issues upon inspection, we were sorely disappointed. But that made way for us to find the house we bought instead (some of which I showed, above, and on Instagram). I love this house so much. Love it, love it, love it, love it!!!

5) Dr. Krane shared his home with Martin, his retired dad. Martin's favorite chair was a well-worn recliner, held together in parts with tape. Frasier tried to replace it by giving his father a brand-new, expensive leather chair as a gift. Martin wanted his old recliner back. Tell us about a present you either gave or received that wasn't a hit.

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It's actually kind of an inside joke between us now: Rob (Hubs) kept asking for this Casio G-Shock DW9052 watch, when we lived in Miami. For Christmas, year after year after year, I gave him at least one new watch - not that watch, but a different watch or watches that I thought were better, which cost a lot more normally but for which I got incredible deals. He never wore any of them, though. This happened probably three years in a row, yet he kept asking for the Casio G-Shock for Christmas. Finally, the last Christmas before we moved here in 2017, I got him the watch he asked for. He wears it every single day. Heh. (I did get a deal on it, though!)

6) Kelsey Grammer played Dr. Krane on three different series (Cheers, Wings and Frasier) over 20 years. What job have you held the longest?

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Well, I've been a stay-home mom since I was pregnant with Chloë (lots of complications, so I could not work). She'll be 18 in less than a month! So I guess Mum is my longest-held job, especially considering I home-schooled all three kids for ten years. Now that it looks like Chloë is heading off the CSI in Twin Falls, Idaho, to study nursing soon, and the littles are entering public high school, I'm going to have to start finding new ways to self-identify and validate myself!

7) Before he found success on Cheers, Grammer played bit parts on the daytime dramas Ryan's World and Another World. Have you ever followed a soap opera?

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When I was a kid, I watched Guiding Light, but that was only because my stepsisters did, really. My mom was a fan of All My Children, so sometimes after she died I would watch that, too.

8) In addition to work in front of the camera, Grammer has done voice over work on commercials for Dr. Pepper and Cheerios. Are either of those products in your kitchen right now?

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The kids love Cheerios, so I'm willing to bet there are at least two boxes in the pantry right now. I hate it. I can always tell when the kids have been eating it, because I think it smells like baby diarrhea. Blechhh!

9) Random question: You're invited to a party where dinner is served buffet style. There's spaghetti with tomato sauce, barbecue spare ribs and buffalo wings. When the evening is over, how likely are you to have a food stain on your clothes?

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I can normally be pretty messy when I eat, but not in this case, because I wouldn't be able to eat any of those three things: I can't eat spaghetti, because of my gastric bypass surgery; I can't stand barbecue sauce and have never eaten spare ribs in my entire life; and, same thing with wings: I don't do barbecue, and I can't keep chicken down because of the bypass surgery. And since I'm allergic to everything, I'm basically on the ice diet now.

~*~*~*~*~

That was a fun one, Sam! Thanks for taking my mind off the migraine while I completed it. I think I've actually got a moment or two, so for once I'm gonna go 'round and visit y'all. Go me, such the equitable blogger! 🙄

Fin.


Sunday Stealing: Not 5,000 Questions, Part The First

Welcome back. 🙋‍♀ I am stuffed! I just finished half a small plate of popcorn shrimp, which Chloë made, and shortly before that, a banana that I did not share with Paco (my 5-year-old Chihuahua), much to his chagrin. I had a tofu stir-fry that Rob made for dinner, and then Jack and I went out for more soy sauce (for the leftovers), some school clothes for him, and some other stuff. Upon our return, we ate ice cream cones (I had a chocolate-dipped cone with Talenti pistachio gelato - such an indulgence!). And I had two chocolate croissants from Walmart, which I bought on impulse when I saw them; they're just like smaller versions of the ones Panera used to sell before replacing them with some crappy new thing that I hate. Anyway, my point is, I feel like I have not stopped eating since I got up today.

Sunday Stealing time. Link up here if you're playing along today! So, full belly, dry diaper, here we go: 

~*~*~*~*~

Have you read anything by C.S. Lewis?

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Yes. For my college graduation gift, my BFF Lisa gave me his book Mere Christianity. When I read it, it was a complete 180º from where I was, still heavily stuck in the cult in which I was raised (Christian Science, which I now realize is completely evil). I had epiphany after epiphany whilst reading it, and it was an awakening for me. I think I shall read it again; once I unpack it and find it! And we listened to the audiobooks of the Narnia series when the children were younger and we took lots of road trips.

What is your favorite movie with Jack Nicholson?

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Oh, God. That's a tough one; has he had any roles I don't like?! I think As Good As It Gets, since that's one of my favorite movies of all time anyway.

What rhymes with 'orange'?

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⬆Welp, there you go!⬆

Have you ever swallowed an object by accident?

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I'm no Tarrare. I can't think of a single weird thing, save for the occasional piece of eggshell.


Is your eyesight 20/20?

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Nooooo way. It's about 20/200. I'm very near-sighted, like my mother was.

Have you ever had insomnia?

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I have chronic insomnia; I've been like this my entire life.

Does it bother you when people touch you?

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Oh yes. Currently, I suffer from at least numbers 2, 3, 4, and 6 above. Sucks!!

Is it better to get too much or too little sleep?

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I don't function well on too little sleep. I'd much rather have too much.

What gets your adrenaline pumping?

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Fear. You know, I grew up in constant terror, and now I don't know how to turn that off. I don't know how to relax. I honestly have no clue how one does it. So my heart rate is consistently at 100 beats per minute, or more.

Do you ever talk about yourself in the third person?

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I talk to myself in second and third person quite frequently. I personally think I'm hilarious, and I always tell my husband, when he's falling asleep and I'm still chattering away, that he's "missing all the gems."

What's your favorite radio station? What kind of music do they play?

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I don't even know. I listen to a variety of things, although I don't like talk radio and never listen to NPR. I listen to a lot of pop, some classic rock, Bob FM when I don't know what I want to hear, etc. I'm all over the map. I just want it to be something I can sing to; I'm not a huge fan of a lot of instrumentals.

Do you believe there is anyplace still undiscovered in all the world?

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I was actually thinking about this earlier today!! I was thinking that there must be some places where people can't get to, and I took joy in that until I realized that if we don't know about it, where it is, what it looks like, and its properties... how will we humans know how to save it when we wreck it?

Ever caught a fish?

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Yes. As a marine biologist, I've caught plenty. Once, when I was aboard one of the scientific vessels, a lot of the crew and my fellow scientists and students were fishing off the back of the ship, for dinner. Someone caught a large male dolphin (the fish, aka mahi mahi), which everyone but us vegans and vegetarians wanted to eat. They let this majestic creature flop around on deck, struggling to breathe, until they started stopping it in the brain to kill it and put it out of its misery. It was a horiffic scene - and so many of them were laughing about it still being alive! It is a terrible memory of mine. On one of our first dates, I told my husband that story. He hasn't eaten mahi mahi in my presence in the 18 years since!

Were you ever in the first row of a concert?

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No. But one of the closest experiences was being within Fergie at a Black Eyed Peas concert in Virginia about ten years ago. She was within reach of me and the two girls I'd taken with me after I won the tickets from a radio show. I was so pumped!

Do you have any autographs?

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Just... somewhere around here, I have an autograph on the Miami Herald column by Dave Barry. He came into the Publix in Coral Gables, at which I worked for a few years while in college. I was a huge fan, since my early childhood when he was published in the Syracuse Herald-Journal on Sundays. He was in the store with his wife Michelle. I saw him and ran and grabbed a Sunday paper, found his column, and started very timidly stalking him around the store, aisle by aisle. Finally, Michelle Barry noticed me and said to Dave, "I think this girl is trying to talk to you." He turned around and signed my paper. I was gushing effusively the entire time, like an idiot. He came in many times after that. One time, he bought about 20 Publix gift certificates for full turkey dinners at Thanksgiving time from me, for some of the junior staffers I'd guess.

~*~*~*~*~

That was fun. Lots of good memories. Except for the fish one. Hey, don't do that. Be a good person this week. Spread kindness!

Fin.


Saturday 9: Come And Knock On Our Door

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Hey, Saturday 9 fam.  Welcome back. I'm suffering from exhaustion right now and am trying to rally and be chipper, so we'll see. Seeing the Three's Company gang helped; that was my faaaaaaavorite show back in the original airing days! Super happy to see this feature.

Link up here if you'd like to play along with us this weekend!

~*~*~*~*~

Saturday 9: "Come and Knock on Our Door" (1976)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
 
1) This week's song was the theme to Three's Company, a sitcom that ran for eight seasons. Were you a fan?

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Definitely!! Especially John Ritter and Chrissy's chemistry. This show and Dukes of Hazzard were my whole televisional existence as a kid.
 
2) The Three's Company theme was composed by Joe Raposo, who also wrote the theme to Sesame Street. Can you recall any of the lyrics to the Sesame Street song?

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Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street? I even named my pet rat in fifth grade, who had similar coloration, "Barkley" after this SS doggo.

3) The lyrics to this song invite you to "come and knock on our door." What's the last door you knocked on (or the most recent doorbell your rang)?

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Gosh... Other than knocking on my kids' bedroom doors when they're shut, I can't remember the last time I rang a bell or knocked on someone's door. Huh. It's really been ages.

4) Three's Company was about three roommates who live together platonically, sharing a two bedroom apartment. Tell us about a roommate who shared your living quarters.

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Speaking of Janet, I'll tell you about my roommate Janet. When I moved to St. Pete, FL, from Miami, she was my roommate. Janet was about a decade older than I was and was a wildlife ranger who intercepted animals illegally smuggled into the United States. She had a lot of interesting stories! One time, someone smuggled in a hippo. Yes. A freaking hippo.

5) Each of the roommates has a profession: Jack is a cook, Chrissy is a secretary (aka administrative assistant) and Janet is a florist. When did you last buy flowers?

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I can't remember. Earlier this year. But these, here, are the gorgeous tulips my kids gave me for this year's Mother's Day. Trader Joe's has great flowers for great prices!

6) They often meet their neighbor, Larry, at a nearby bar called The Regal Beagle. What's the name of the establishment where you most recently enjoyed an adult beverage? 

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I don't drink very often anymore, although I have had a few wine coolers at home lately. Or at least, a sip here and a sip there. In February, my friend Becca from Becca's Backyard and I went on a fancy Galentine's date to Chandler's in downtown Boise. We had so, so, so much fun. It's so cool living near someone I met as a blogger now, and being fast friends.
 
7) Their meddling landlord was Mr. Roper. He was cheap, nosy, and very talented at fixing things around the building. How much are you like Mr. Roper? Are you frugal? Nosy? A handy do-it-yourselfer?

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I am certainly frugal; I hate paying full-price for anything and fight for every penny I spend/save. I don't like to call myself "nosy" but rather use the term "interested."  I like to study human nature. I used to be much more of a do-it-yourselfer than I am able to be now. Fortunately, Hubs still is - even after multiple surgeries to remove his brain tumor and prostate cancer! I'm so thankful for him and told him so last night, actually.
 
8) Three's Company was controversial again, more than 15 years after it ceased production. In March 2001, Nick at Nite re-edited an episode after a viewer called, alerting the network that a bit too much of John Ritter was visible in his blue boxer shorts. Have you ever called, emailed or written to, a TV station to complain?

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No. I don't believe I have.

9) Random question -- Is the screen on your cellphone cracked?

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No, not at the moment, despite the fact I drop it constantly. I appear to have a really good case and cover on it. Watch, now that I've told you that, it'll shatter tomorrow!

~*~*~*~*~

Fun time. Thank you, "Sam," for all that you do. I appreciate your hard work.

Fin.


Sunday Stealing: Book Of Questions

Hey, there! Wheeeewwwwww, I'm exhausted.

Rob, Chloë and I spent all day Saturday driving up to get Sophia from camp and then, upon returning to the Boise area, running a billion errands. On our way back to Mountain Home, we stopped and picked up Sophia's girlfriend, another S, who is spending the rest of the weekend with us. I took a nap as soon as we got home, ain't gonna lie, and woke up with an extreme migraine. At the ER, I got pumped full of meds and barely remember anything after that. It's going on 2 PM now; I just woke up. I hope all of you had a more relaxing day than did I on Saturday!

Let's jump in, m'kay? Link up here if you'd like to play along with the rest of us thieves!

~*~*~*~*~

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Questions from The Book of Questions

1. Do you think the world will be a better or worse place 100 years from now?
 
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That depends on your perspective. From a humanistic view, definitely worse, based on our actions today! But for the world as a whole? I think it'll just be different. Things are changing, some irrevocably, and things will once again evolve to a new stasis.

2. Would you accept $1,000,000 to leave the country and never set foot in it again?
 
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I'm the first guy. Yeah? You promise? I'm outta here!!

3. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the body or the mind of a 30 year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
 
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Oh, geez. I don't like either choice. Must I pick one? (fine: mind)

4. What would constitute a “perfect” evening for you?
 
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I really don't know anymore. I'm sure a nap is involved. (Sometimes I take three naps in a day - and recently, I hit four! ME/CFS can bite my arse.)

5. Whom do you admire most?  In what way does that person inspire you?
 
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Rob, before tearing up at Chloë's graduation ceremony
 
This may sound really corny, but I think it's Hubs. He's been through entirely too much, both emotionally and physically, and yet he rarely complains. He just gets up, keeps going, keeps trying harder, keeps doing what needs to be done without bitching about it (mostly; I mean, he is human!). He's very much like my grandfather in that regard. With all that I've got going on health-wise these days, he serves as a good role model for how I want to be, at least on the few days my ^&*(() body will even let me. (See? There I go!)

6. Do you prefer being around men or women?  Do your closest friends tend to be men or women?
 
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At least when I was single, I hung around guys more than gals. Most of my friends were male. The scene above was similar to many I had around my college years. That being said, most of my best friends - then and now - are women.

7. If you could use a voodoo doll to hurt anyone you chose, would you?
 
Wait, could it be Trump?
 
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But seriously folks... no. Unless it could be used for kindess. Maybe not like the bridal version seen above, but what about one where I could stick a pin (or whatev) in the place(s) where the person hurts, and it takes away their pains? Yeah. I could get on board with that.

8. What is your most treasured memory?
 
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Well. I have dozens of treasured memories. One that I will treasure forever and ever happened after my son Robby died. I was absolutely devastated, completely heartbroken. There truly are no words to describe my level of despair. My mother-in-law came to visit and help us through it, make the arrangements, etc. I remember during that visit, I went up to take a shower and started sobbing under the water. Hubs told me she'd said to him, "I think your wife needs you right now." He came up and got in the shower with me, probably fully dressed, to hold me while we both cried... But that's not it. During that same visit, in a quiet moment, she gave me the "come here" finger wave and had me sit on the stairs next to her. She pulled out a small box. There was this necklace inside, with a sapphire baby girl represent Chloë, an angel representing Robby, and an aquamarine boy representing his identical twin, Jack (the boys were March babies). It's my most cherished possession; I could not possibly convey the feels I felt in that moment. I just looked at her, started crying, and we hugged. It was our warmest moment together, probably.
 
P.S. After Sophia was born, Mamacita (my MIL) said, "Well, I guess you better give me that necklace back!" And that's when my little diamond girl joined the team.

9. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?  Is there anything you hope to do that is even better?  (Let’s exclude raising children, if you have them)
 
PhD choppy choppy
 
Hmm, I don't know. There have been a lot, but I worked really hard to get into ^^ this ^^ pretty exclusive lab, and I made it in after much hard work on my part.
 
Even better? I don't know, I have learned that things aren't always "better" or "worse" but more like, just, different. You know? I'd been watinging since my pregnancy and first year with Chloë - who will turn 18 in September - to go to law school when my kids were all grown, but with my brain injury, I don't think that will be possible now. So, author it shall be. eek Fingers crossed!! 🤞🤞🤞
 
10. If you went to a dinner party and were offered a dish you had never tried, would you want to taste it, even if it sounded strange and not very appealing?
 
It totally depends. Three things I would NOT eat, no matter what:
 
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Monkey brains - actual
 
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Balut
 
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... and haggis
 
Three things I have eaten in my non-veg days:
 
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frog legs - on a cruise
 
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escargot - on another cruise, or maybe the same?
 
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sea urchin sushi - in Virginia Beach Town Center
 
By the way, Rob and I ate that sushi on a date for our anniversary one year, and we both agreed it was among the most DISGUSTING things we'd ever eaten!!! Have y'all had it? 
 
11. Do your close friends tend to be older or younger than you?
 
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They're usually the same age or older. I can think of few friends of mine who are younger.
 
12. How do you feel when people sing Happy Birthday to you in a restaurant?
 
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It's not my favorite thing in the world, now that I'm no longer eight years old (!!), but if dessert's involved I'm game. I'd rather it be a plate of fruits or even an extravagant fruta loca, though:
 
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13. When you tell a story, do you often exaggerate or embellish it?  If so, why?
 
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Yes. I do "edit" my tales sometimes. In short, I say, "I do it for the LOLs." For the longer version of that, I'll borrow from a 2014 article I just found on HuffPost:

"Some people are born storytellers. Other people struggle to hold your attention.

"The difference between a boring story and an interesting one usually boils down to three things: emotions, embellishment, and authenticity.

"Boring stories go in a linear fashion. Poor storytellers repeat every fact and detail with no particular emphasis on one element or the other. They tend to focus on getting every single inane detail exactly right.

"The 'one boring fact after another' technique is a favorite of literalists, who typically tell less than stellar stories.

"Great storytellers, on the other hand, provide interpretation. They help you understand what the story means by drawing your attention to the most interesting parts, which sometimes requires a bit of exaggeration.

"Mark Twain once said, 'Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.'

"[I] not only tell stories, [I] embellish them."

14. If a friend were almost always late, would you resent it or simply allow for it? Can you be allowed to be on time?
 
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I grew up needing to be excessively punctual. When I got to college in Miami, I learned what it meant to be "on Cuban time" or various other Caribbean cultures' time. That meant: late. Always, always late, so I became very forgiving of them in a hurry!
 
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As for me, I don't prefer it, but being part of this family necessitates my understanding that, almost always, I will be late!

15. If you could have free, unlimited service for five years from an extremely good cook, chauffeur, housekeeper, or personal secretary, which would you choose?
 
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Rob is an extremely good cook, and I'm not bad. The kids are learning to hold their own (Jack is the best). Neither Rob nor I mind driving; in fact, we generally like it (although it'd be nice if even one of the kids got their license, finally). I enjoy being the personal secretary of the fam. This one was an absolute, hands-down, no-brainer: Housekeeper. I'm really good at cleaning and alla that, but my body no longer permits it. Rob and the kids share the tasks now, but I'm never super thrilled with the job!
 
~*~*~*~*~
 
Welp, it's after 1530 now, meaning I've gotta get to some of that "secretarial" work! I do hope y'all will have a lovely week.
 
Fin.

Saturday 9: Secret Agent Man

(I do know this song and am singing along with Johnny Rivers. And now it led into listening to CCR, which I also love.)

The Part With the Lyrics
 
There's a man who leads a life of danger
To everyone he meets he stays a stranger
With every move he makes another chance he takes
Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Beware of pretty faces that you find
A pretty face can hide an evil mind
Ah, be careful what you say
Or you'll give yourself away
Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Swingin' on the Riviera one day
And then layin' in the Bombay alley next day
Oh no, you let the wrong word slip
While kissing persuasive lips
The odds are you won't live to see tomorrow
Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name
Secret agent man
 
*
 
The Part Where I Apologize
 
Hey. Persona non grata here. I have a certain amount of contrition over my post last week. I know I ruffled some feathers, but maybe that's not the worst thing in the world if it gets a conversation going, even if I get the ugly bits. I got some pretty supportive responses (both on the blog and directly to me, privately), and I also received some angry <<words muffled and inaudible>> replies. I do want to admit I did not realize quite how much research went into inventing the nine weekly questions, although I could tell it was a fair amount each week. Obviously it never stopped me from answering the questions, when I was able to play, thoughtfully - although some of you thought knowing/not knowing the song/musician never affected one's abililty to do so at all, which is incorrect.
 
I did do the recent Backstreet Boys, Billy Ray & Miley Cyrus, and Britney Spears editions, so it can't be said I play too infrequently to have noticed those among others. Also, I guess what I am saying to that is that none of those more recent acts are what I personally might consider good, quality music - but that's a conversation for a different day. I could list an exceptionally long list of music that is neither pop nor current, but since I never write about those like I do about my tongue-in-cheek love for pop muzak, y'maybe just don't know. I don't want to lose y'all as my online friends, and there are a good many of you I think I'd love to know in real life, too, so please accept that I have felt nothing but contrition since that post went up last week. Sometimes my real-life stress asserts itself into unrelated online stuff, and because I possess no filter - none at all - I can't always reel it back in. I'm sorry.
 
*
 
The Part Where I Mention a Billie Eilish Song I Love (one of many; cheeky, I know)
 
wish you were gay:
 

*

The Part Where I Finally Answer the Questions:

Secret Agent Man (1966)

Unfamiliar with this week's song. Hear it here.

1) This is the theme of a TV show that ran on CBS from 1964-1967. The series was produced, and originally aired, in England. The BBC has shared many shows with American audiences over the years. Can you name another?

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I never really got into Downton Abbey, but many of my friends were really into it.

2) The show is about John Drake, a special agent dedicated to exposing plots that threaten world peace. A quick check of Netflix and Goodreads reveals that spy stories are just as popular today. Is espionage a genre you enjoy? Do you read books, or watch shows and movies, about spies?

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I don't go out of my way to watch spy movies, but I don't avoid them, either. I might be persuaded to see a Bond movie for the first time in ages (I haven't seen any since Pierce Brosnan) if Idris Elba were tapped to play 007, though... ;)

3) The lyrics tell us Drake travels from the Riviera to Bombay. Where were you when you last spent the night away from home? Why were you there (vacation, business, international intrigue)?

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Oh, definitely international intrigue, for sure. No doubt about that.

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No, actually, I was supposed to be taking 17yo Chloë with me to Vancouver, B.C., this weekend to a Moms' summit with various companies and grow my 'brand' as an influencer in the mommiverse - or whatever cutesy name is en vogue these days - but I can't afford to go now. Medical bills and the gas from traveling back and forth to Boise for doc appointments has me strapped. I'm super bummed; it promised to be both informative and fun.

Quiz - Owyhee Pony Club
So the last time I spent a night away from home was in April, when I took 14yo Sophia to Pocatello, Idaho, for an event with the state's branch of International Pony Club. That's her in the back row, far right end. Blonde. Oh wait, that doesn't help.

4) The refrain states, "They've given you a number and taken away your name." In today's digital world, that could now be said of all of us. Are you good at remembering your computer passwords?

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I used to be, before Succubus took my memory away. Now I have to keep a list... somewhere.

5) Patrick McGoohan, who played Agent Drake, went from being a good guy to appearing as a murderer on Columbo four times. Were you a fan of Columbo?

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No, but I think it was my grandpa who was. I tried to get into it, with him, but after learning about Peter Falk's false eye, I got squeamish. Same with Sammy Davis, Jr. I'm funny about eyeballs. Ick.

6) Born John Ramistella, this week's featured artist, Johnny Rivers, grew up in Louisiana. He took "Rivers" as his stage name because he grew up along the Mighty Mississippi. If you were to change your last name based on the geography of the area where you grew up, how would you be known?

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Hmm. "Melanie Mountains" and "Fingerlakes Mel" sound a bit pornographic. Not the kind of film industry I guess you're talking about? So how about "Melanie Bronx" after my mom's birthplace?
 
7) In 1966, when this song was popular, Jacqueline Kennedy was the woman most Americans admired. What famous woman do you admire most? (She doesn't have to be American.)

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Oh, so many women. Michelle Obama, definitely. 37-year-old Barbara Pierce Bush (Coyne) is really impressing me lately. She's worked both for the Smithsonian Museum and with AIDS patients in Africa. She founded the Global Health Corps, which she spoke about in a TED Talk in Brooklyn. She has spoken out in support of same-sex marriage in New York. And like her twin sister, Jenna, she is an independent thinker: neither is a member of the Republican Party.

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8) 1966 also found another Jacqueline was in the news. Jacqueline Susann's first novel, Valley of the Dolls, was atop the best seller lists, even though it was savaged by the critics. What's your guilty pleasure? What book, movie, TV show, or song do you enjoy, even though you know it has little artistic merit?

So I like Nicki Minaj, and "Good Form" is a song - and video - that's not for the faint of heart. Don't say you weren't warned.

9) Random question: Imagine you've been stranded alone in the woods for 10 days. No companionship, no internet or phone or TV. You have been sleeping in the dirt, living on berries and river water. Your rescuers drive you to a hotel. Upon check-in, what's the first thing you do?

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Okay, first of all, this guy is hilarious and I'm going to have to start doing this stuff like him when I visit a hotel! And now, to answer your question, I would probably "use the facilities" and then stumble to the bed. Wake me up in two days, y'all. Yeesh!

*

The Part Where I Finish

Welp, that was a fun one. I enjoyed it whole-heartedly. Now I'm off in search of some coffee. Cheers, y'all!

Fin.


Sunday Stealing: Rambling Survey

Hey there, hi there, ho there! Welcome back!

(Let me preface this post by saying I've been gone all day long and haven't had a chance even to see if I have comments - negative or otherwise - on my Sat9 post from yesterday, let alone read them. So I can't answer to those except to say that I'm nervous to read them & truly hope y'all don't hate me.)

So, then. Just gonna jump on into this SS post at the stroke of midnight on Sunday the 14th of July, 2019, and get back to that later. (I'll be gone all day Sunday, too, so I'm not ignoring y'all.) Link up here if you're playing along this weekend!

~*~*~*~*~

Questions from Sad Sleepy Survey Rambles

Have you ever been teased because of the things you like?
 
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Sure, of course. Education was always my passion, and in the regular-ed, non-Honors/AP classes, I stood out and got stomped on in return. I'm a math nerd. I listen excessively to pop music (although, ahem, not only pop music, nor just current music, but also classic rock, folk music, some punk, lots of alternative, some big band - and I love JP Sousa - as well as gasp classical. As in, not even from last century, let alone this millenium. I don't only listen to "current" music. So, um, yeah... side eye ) I've been called a "such a grandma" for knitting. (Like that's an insult?!) and so on...
 
Do you hold grudges?
 
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I'm pretty forgiving if the person genuinely expresses remorse for any wrongs. Likewise, I'm quick to apologize when I realize I've committed some wrong(s).

Were there any classes you enjoyed because of the teacher?
 
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Absolutely. Many of them, actually. In my senior year of high school, my AP Physics teacher was constantly making it entertaining, which was great for me because this particular field of science is most challenging for me. I just don't have a good understanding of spacial relationships, for one thing. And speaking of physics, my Physics II professor at university used to write "WAEFRTGDD" on the chalkboard/whiteboard during each lab and exam. Before starting, he'd point to each letter and remind us, "When All Else Fails, Read The __ __ Directions!" Cracked me up.

Was there a dress code at your school?
 
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No. Which reminds me, I have to find out if there's a dress code at the younger two kids' new high school.

Have you ever been a bad friend?
 
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Yeah...

Has a friend ever replaced you with somebody else?
 
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Yeah, but you know, you've gotta grow up and get past that stuff at some point.

Have you ever disliked something just because it was popular?
 
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Mm-hmm. For instance, I have a bunch of piercings but never did my bellybutton because everybody was piercing their navels for a while and just... I don't like to be trendy. Now that everyone and their brother has their nostril pierced, I'm glad I've got the septum done, too. What next?
 
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I much prefer belly necklaces, but I definitely don't have the body for that!

Have you ever watched a movie just because it starred an actor you liked?
 
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Probably, sure. I think I even saw The Rainmaker in the theater. #BecauseMattDamon

Are there actors/musicians you have met?
 
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Chloë
Well, I mean, sure. I know some. My daughter Chloë is an actor and model and has starred in movies, TV shows, commercials, print ads, stock photos... And one of my best friends is a concert violinist. =) (I'm still so jealous she played first chair for Josh Groban!)

Do you ever judge people based on the music they listen to?
 
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Eh, not really, although I might judge the "music" itself - death metal?!

What about your top five music albums?
 
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Uh, what about it?

Do you remember the first album you ever owned?
 
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LOL... I can't promise it wasn't Milli Vanilli! But one of the first albums that I've owned that became an instant favorite and has remained so for 25+ years was Eric Clapton Unplugged. He's my boyfriend, but he doesn't know it. So is Larry David. (Neither of whom is my generation. Y'know?)

Do you still use an mp3 player, or just your phone?
 
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I actually forgot I ever even owned an MP3 player. How did you know?

Do you like Elton John?
 

Most of his music, I love, and I guess I like him okay as a human? But I wouldn't really miss a few of his songs, like Crocodile RockBennie & The Jets, and maybe Rocket Man? I don't know why; I just don't enjoy those ditties as much.
 
Have any celebrity deaths hit you hard? Which one(s)?
 
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A few, like Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Prince, etc. were really hard for me, Luke Perry I guess, but none hit me anywhere near as much as the death of Princess Diana in 1997. That still affects me to this day. #PTSD
 
~*~*~*~*~
 
And now, it seems I'm on an Elton John kick. What's next for me, Billy Joel?
 
I wish you all a good week. I know I ruffled a few feathers this weekend, and mine were tousled in return, but I do hope there's no bad blood among any of us.
 
Fin.

Sunday Stealing: Questions Are My Favorite!

Welcome back, y'all! I'm glad you're here. Today we're joining Bev & the gang for a series of questions stolen from elsewhere on the Interwebs. Link up here if you'd like to join us today!

~*~*~*~*~

Are you satisfied with the way your life is right now?

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I would want to change my health situation, but otherwise, things I would want to change are minor and insignificant.

Do you drink enough water?

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I'm actually so well hydrated that I've been hospitalized a half-dozen or so times for hyponatremia.

When was the last time you ate at Burger King?

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I never eat at Burger King. Ever.

Do you prefer the beach or the mountains?

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Well, nowadays we can go to the beach in the mountains... but if I had to pick one or the other, it'd be the beach all. day. long.

How do you usually feel when you wake up in the morning?

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Like it's some kind of cruel joke, because I swear I'd just fallen asleep...

Would you rather take someone on a date, or be taken on a date?

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Call me old-fashioned, but I'd love to be taken out on a date.

When was the last time you wore high heeled shoes?

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My illness struck in May 2015, and it hit hard. Nevertheless, when we went out to South Beach (Miami) for New Year's Eve that December 31st, I was bound and determined to wear my spiked 5" red heels to match this (I think) smokin' hot dress. I don't wear heels that often; I have weak ankles. I learned my lesson! If the immense crowd hadn't been constantly pressed up against me while we waded our way through the human ocean on Ocean Drive, I definitely would've fallen about sixteen times. I don't think I've worn heels since that day; I don't even own that pair anymore.

Vodka or wine? 

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I actually prefer vodka, but Hubs really had a bad experience with it, so I try to avoid it at home. At a bar/club, though, anything's game!

How often do you cry?

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Oh, I'm extremely emotional. Here, speaking at my daughter Chloë's high school graduation a couple weeks ago, I was a wreck!

Ever had a crush on a teacher?

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Well, yes...

Can you wire a plug?

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No. No, I cannot.

Do you wear socks to bed?

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NO! No socks in bed. (I'm particular about my sock habits.) (It's a sensory issue thing.)

What is currently bugging you?

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Oh, nothing much. Really the only thing (other than jaw pain from my root canal on Wednesday) is that I was playing around, taking these superficial photos on Saturday, and I can't decide which I like best. Family is no help; we're evenly split (and Jack just does not care). #FirstWorldProblems

Can you change a car tire?

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I've learned, but I'm not strong enough now to do it myself.

Have you met more than ten celebrities?

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Do I look like Jimmy Fallon?

Do you sleep naked?

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No, I don't like it. Hubs prefers it, but I just can't get comfortable that way.

What was the best music gig you’ve ever attended?

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All of them were great in their own way. Blue Man Group was probably the coolest...

Have you ever had sexual feelings for anyone you follow online?

Rob in Greece

Well. I married this guy I met online, so I guess I can't say no to that!

Who is someone who has changed your life positively?

Señora O'Toole

This adorable woman, Señora - no, now she's Doctora - O'Txxxx, was my Spanish teacher off and on from 7th through 12th grade. She taught me more than a new language, though. And 25 years later, she is still teaching me lessons. (We're friends on Facebook, and also she had my family over for brunch when we were in New York for my 20th high school reunion in 2014.) I adore her.

Favourite city?

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I'm most partial to Manhattan.

Can you drive?

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Yes. Fast. Very, very fast.

Cigarettes or alcohol?

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I have nothing good to say about anything even remotely related to tobacco products. I get an instant migraine from someone smoking cigarettes around me, and it hits even before the smell registers or I see the person. That's probably the worst part of it for me. When people smoke right at the entrance to medical facilities or dining establishments, I truly feel like I could go apeshit on them.

That being said, alcohol - but even that, very rarely.

Favourite and least favourite accents?

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I love all most accents. I adore every international accent I've ever heard. I do not prefer accents from the American South.

Did you play Red Rover when you were a child?

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I surely did!

Do you like 1980s fashion?

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It was maybe fun at the time, but... I don't miss it.

~*~*~*~*~

All righty. I've gotta go grab Sophie and watch Season 1, Episode 3 of Stranger Things. Meanwhile, Chloë has already finished Season 3! Can you say "binge watch"?!

Have a lovely week, y'all.

Fin.


Saturday 9: America, The Beautiful

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Welcome, welcome. Step into my lair. I'm just going to jump right into this one, because Sophia is waiting for me to watch Seasons 1-3 of the Netflix show Stranger Things with her. (Break time. I'd never seen it before; now we've watched Season 1, Episode 1. I think I'm hooked!) Link up here if you'd like to play along with us this week!

~*~*~*~*~

"America, the Beautiful"

Unfamiliar with Frank Sinatra's 1945 version of this song? Hear it here.

1) In 2016, a group recommended that this week's song replace "The Star Spangled Banner" as our national anthem. They maintain it's just as beautiful but easier to sing. How do you feel about this?

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Hmm. I don't have a super strong opinion either way, but I do love our current National Anthem. I just feel like, if something is easier to sing, does that mean we should choose it to represent our entire country and her patriotism? 🤷‍♀️

2) Katharine L. Bates said her lyrics were inspired by a trip to Pike's Peak. What's the most beautiful American spot you've ever visited?

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Oh, gosh. This was a tough one for me. I've been to Tumon Bay in Guam, which is gorgeous. I've been from Key West to Niagara Falls. I've been from the Outer Banks of North Carolina to the Santa Monica Pier. I have seen a lot, but there is still a lot yet to see (Grand Canyon, I'm coming for you!). However, the one spot I would return to 10 times out of 10, given the chance, is the Jersey Shore. I love watching those huge waves - taller than I am - of the Atlantic Ocean crashing over and over on the beach. So fierce! So cold! So beautiful.

3) The music was written by organist Samuel Augustus Ward. Both Bates and Ward were very formal when signing their names professionally - she including her middle initial and he with his full middle name. How about you? When you sign checks or documents, do you use your middle name or initial?

07052019 Melanie SelfieB

Well, my signature is no longer really legible, but I do use my middle initial. Also, you can see here on the watermark that I do use the "A."

4) In 1945, when this version of the song was recorded, America lost Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and Frank Sinatra said, "I lost a hero." What late, great American hero from our past would you like to honor today? 

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Hee.

So, in consideration of this question, I first considered Abraham Lincoln, because - duh, the Emancipation Proclamation, abolishment of slavery, etc., were all quite huge. But then I thought of Frederick Douglass. And then I thought of more and more Black Americans who deserve the honor. There are so many. I finally decided on Maya Angelou, because she was alive in my lifetime and made such an impact on my life with I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, amongst other writings of hers. RIP, Ms. Angelou.

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"You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise."

5) Also in 1945, a 19-year-old "hoofer" waited outside the Los Angeles radio station where Sinatra was being interviewed. That was the beginning of the friendship between Sammy Davis, Jr., and Frank Sinatra. Tell us about your oldest friend.

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That should probably be Ursula, whose very Irish mum, Olive, was my sister's and my babysitter from early on until we moved from Monroe to Syracuse, New York. Ursula has the very NYC accent that I still slip into now and then. We three had a lot of great times together. And it was at their house that I learned my love for PB&J sandwiches with chocolate chip cookies on the side...

6) The Fourth of July means we're in the middle of summer. Are you careful about applying sunscreen?

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Oh, hell yes. I hate it, but I'm extremely fair-skinned. I've had enough major sunburns in my life to know I'm fer sure going to get skin cancer. I have zero doubts.

7) Mosquito bites can be a major summer annoyance. Are you scratching any itches right now?

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Not at the moment. Phew!! I hate mosquito bites.

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8) Emergency rooms report an increase in wrist injuries in summer, with people falling off bikes and skateboards and jamming their wrists catching hard-hit softballs. Have you been to the ER or Urgent Care during 2019?
 
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Yup. Sometimes, between monthly shots of my biologic meds (formerly Aimovig, now switching over to Ajovy), weekly nerve blocks, weekly migraine cocktail infusions (as above), abortive prescriptions such as every triptan on the planet, all the OTCs I'm not supposed to use... sometimes, I still get breakthrough migraine. Okay, so really, it's daily, so I also occasionally have to go to ER and get that cocktail infused there. And sometimes, they even admit me. Sucks. Last month, these intractable migraines cost our health insurance $28,000. (Cost us nothing, thank God, so once again: thank you, honey, for your service to this great nation!)
 
9) New York is home to Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest every year on the 4th. Will hot dogs be consumed in your household this weekend?
 
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Yes. Chloë (curly sue there, on the left) and Sophia had hot dogs. The boys had hamburgers. I had... eggs. (I'm doing keto this month to try and take off some of this weight I've gained from all these new meds, so. Otherwise, I probably would've had hummus. Heh.)
 
~*~*~*~*~
 
So, wherever you are in the world, if you're an American, I hope you enjoyed this past Independence Day 2019! And if you're not American, thanks for joining us in the fracas regardless!
 
Image result for waving flag gif Cheers, y'all. Image result for waving flag gif
 
Fin.

Saturday 9: Venus In Blue Jeans

Good morning, good day, good afternoon, & good evening, y'all! I know you guys may be all over the place (geographically and in time) when and if you read this, so I'm being as inclusive as I can. Y'know?

I have never heard of this song, nor of Jimmy Clanton, but I love Sat9, I love Crazy Sam and the gang, and it's a great way to start another crazy day in what has been a very busy and occasionally chaotic week! Link up here if you'd like to play along with us this week.

~*~*~*~*~

Saturday 9: Venus in Blue Jeans (1962)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Like the dream girl described in this song, Sam is wearing jeans as she composes this Saturday 9. Is there a lot of denim in your wardrobe?

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No, because after four kids including a set of twins in the middle, I definitely have the kind of mom-jeans figure that mom jeans were created for, and I know I wouldn't look good.

2) Jimmy Clanton likens this girl to the Venus de Milo, the ancient Greek sculpture made of marble and now on display at the Louvre. Is there any marble in your home?

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I don't think so (I should probably know by now, eh?), unless you count the jar of marbles sitting right next to me.

3) He refers to his girl as "Mona Lisa with a pony tail." The Mona Lisa is also at the Louvre. What's the last museum you visited?

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It's been a while, because my illness keeps progressing. Geez, I think the last museum we visited was the Idaho Military History Museum, for a field trip I'd set up with some other Boise homeschooling families. Hubs was definitely in his element!

4) This girl is so awesome, she's the 8th Wonder of the World! Without looking it up, could you name the other 7?

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Nope. I don't even know if these are the seven you meant, since I thought the 7 Wonders where natural wonders of the world. I know there are some listed that way and some manmade ones, but anyway. I have seen the Colosseum in Rome, Italy, and near the Mexican pyramids. I'd love to see the rest, especially the Taj Mahal in India and the Great Wall of China.

5) Jimmy Clanton spent his entire professional life behind a microphone. After he quit selling records, he began spinning them as a DJ. Do you consider the sound of your voice one of your better qualities?

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It used to be, but repeated severe respiratory infections have ruined my voice. My girls have lovely singing voices, though, and Chloë actually wants to audition for The Voice someday.

6) At age 80, Mr. Clanton still performs. He averaged an appearance/month in 2018. Some of his fans were surprised that he has let his pompadour go completely white. Do you color your hair?

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Yeah, I do. I started coloring my hair auburn - at my roommate's urging - near the end of my first year in college. Rarely have I stopped, except while pregnant and breastfeeding. Recently I decided to dye it black for the second time. I've since grown tired of it and have tried dying it back to my natural (I think?!) medium brown, and bleaching it, and over-dyeing it with a dark auburn... but only my roots show any of these changes. I'm frustrated and ready (finally) to ask for professional advice. LOL!

7) In 1962, when this song was popular, Americans were reading about 5-year-old First Daughter, Caroline Kennedy, and her pony, Macaroni. Tell us about a pet you had when you were very young.

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In 5th grade, I had an orange-and-white pet rat named Barkley. The classroom next to ours had had a pregnant pet mama rat who birthed about a trillion (give or take) babies at the end of the school year. I persuaded my parents (miracle of miracles) to let me adopt one, get a cage and all that. I loved him! Barkley was wicked smart, too. I tried all kinds of things to keep him in his cage when I wasn't giving him free-roaming time, but he outwitted me every singled time! Barkley loved to chew rubber and ruined the buttons on several small gaming devices I had, along with several watch bands and probably more I'm forgetting. My favorite thing was putting him on my sleeping father's head or shoulder and watching him freak out when that woke him up!

8) Decades later, Caroline Kennedy was the first woman to serve as US Ambassador to Japan. Have you ever been to Asia?

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Not yet, but I want to! The closest I've come was living on Guam for four months over late 2002 and into 2003.

9) Random question: When talking among themselves, who do you think is more open and honest about sex -- men or women?

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Neither. It's Dr. Ruth. Just... Dr. Ruth.

~*~*~*~*~

That was fun! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go rescue a cat who is meowing her heart out to be rescued from absolutely nothing but wanting people to wake up and give her attention (it's just 6 AM here). 

Image result for tiny waving pride flag gif Ciao, todos! Image result for tiny waving pride flag gif

Fin.


Saturday 9: I Learned From You

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Happy Father's Day weekend, y'all! Things are going well here in the new house, and Hubs took the girls to Boise Pride both yesterday and today, and we had a sleepover last night, and we have lots of fun gifts for my main squeeze tomorrow, and... <pant, pant, pant> we have Chloë's high school graduation tomorrow afternoon! No one is coming so we decided to forgo the party and, as usual, have it just be the five of us. That's fine...

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Link up here if you want to join the rest of us Saturday 9ers (yes, it's late and probably well after dark for some of you already!)...

~*~*~*~*~

Saturday 9: I Learned from You (2007)
... Because it's Father's Day weekend.
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
 


1) This song is a duet by the father/daughter team, Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus. Is your family musically inclined?
 
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Partially; my sister, parents, daughters, and I can/could all sing well. My grandfather used to sing in church a lot, and he sang at my sister's wedding, too (I'd forgotten that!). My husband... can not carry a tune in a bucket.

2) This song is about life lessons. Who has been a major influence on your life?
 
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OMG, that's hilarious. Umm, I couldn't limit that down to just a handful of people if I tried! So I'm going to say that I've been influenced by everyone I've known, people I've only heard about but don't know personally, and everyone else in the entire world.

3) Miley's given name is "Destiny." Her nickname as a baby was "Smiley," which is where Miley came from. What's something that can always be depended upon to make you smile?
 
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This child. Sophia, now 14, has been making us burst out laughing her entire life.
 
4) Miley's father, country singer Billy Ray Cyrus, has 5 children in addition to Miley (6 in all). Are you the oldest, the middle or the youngest sibling? Or are you an only child?
 
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I was the youngest of 2/3/4/5, depending on how you want to slice that cake.

5) Sam's own father often traveled for business, and always remembered to bring her the little complimentary soaps, shampoos or body lotion he got from the hotel. Tell us about an inexpensive but treasured souvenir from a trip you've taken.
 
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I get a shot glass from everywhere I go. But I rarely use them.

6) Back when Sam was in high school, it was her father who gave her driving lessons. Are you patient when teaching someone something new?
 
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It really depends on both subject and student.

7) Sam's father is easy to buy for: every year he wants a new pair of loafers, so every year for Father's Day she gives him a DSW gift card. Is there anyone on your gift list that you find it easy to buy for?
 
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Penny loafers? I generally find it easy to shop for those in my immediately family and super-hard for anyone who doesn't live with me!

8) For family barbecues, Sam's dad dons his "Kiss the Chef" apron and mans the Weber. What's the last thing you cooked on the grill?
 
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I generally don't like grilled food, but I enjoy making meals en papillote from time to time. I used to do that a lot years ago, when we first got married. SO easy!

9) Sam's father satisfies his afternoon sugar craving with an almost endless stream of Butter Rum Lifesavers. When you crave a snack, do you usually reach for something sweet or salty?
 
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Oh, it varies for me from hour to hour. ;) Sometimes I want something totally junky; other times, it's gotta be a banana or something. Doesn't it vary for everyone? I just had Chloë bring me home a Caramello after craving one for days. It was disappointing. Don't you hate that?!
 
~*~*~*~*~
 
That was fun; thanks, Sam! Hopefully I'll be much more prompt when it comes to Sunday Stealing! ;)
 
Image result for tiny waving pride flag gif Cheers, y'all. Image result for tiny waving pride flag gif
 
Fin.

Sunday Stealing: Would You Rather?

Heya, folks! Welcome back to my corner of Ye Olde Interwebs. Glad to have you back. This week, we're playing a fun round of Would You Rather with Bev over at SunSt. ;) Link up here if you'd like to play along with us this week!

Would you rather be able to detect any lie you hear or get away with any lie you tell?

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Well, hmm. Both would be most useful. ;) I think, as a wife and mother, I'd have to say I'd rather be able to detect any lie I hear. I mean, I know each member of my family's "tells" pretty well, but there are those times...

Would you rather be a hopeless romantic or a hopeless unromantic?

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Oh, I'm a hopeless romantic, and I rather like it that way.

Would you rather have too many friends or too few?

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Um, why would I chose to have too few friends?

Would you rather have no taste buds or be blind?

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Easy: no taste buds. I have already significantly lost my sense of taste & smell, and while boring sometimes, it's not the end of the world. But I literally like to live my life in living color, and all the visual beauty in the world would be so... I'd be devastated if I lost that.

Would you rather never hear music again or lose the ability to read?

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Ooh, that's a tough one. I can't decide. Would I have the ability to re-learn how to read? Hm. If not, then please do one to me and don't tell me which; it'll hurt either way.

Would you rather find true love or be rich?

Appreciate Those Who Don't Give Up On You

If I didn't have true love, I'd never consider myself to be rich. One contributes to happiness; the other contributes to convenience.

Would you rather be the richest person or the smartest?

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I'm pretty fond of being intelligent. Being rich is overrated.

Would you rather create history or delete it?

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I'd much rather create history, especially if it's good stuff. Even bad stuff shouldn't be deleted from history, because well,... Winston Churchill.

Would you rather create a great piece of art and not get credit or get credit for a piece of art you didn’t create?

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I would never want to get credit for something I didn't do, good or bad. That would make me feel rotten. I'd much rather have a secret sort of joy over creating something beautiful that others admired, knowing I gave them something special.

Would you rather age from the neck up, or from the neck down.

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Hands down, neck down!

Would you rather see the world but live in poverty or stay in one place and live rich?

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I'd travel and travel and travel until I dropped.

Would you rather become famous or powerful?

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I'd never want to risk being drunk with power, so I hope I'd be famous for something wonderful!

Would you rather be a creative person or a technical person?

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I like being a creative. There's always something brewing.

Would you rather get a paper cut whenever you touch paper or bite your tongue whenever you eat something?

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I do bite my tongue constantly already, and while it's painful, I guess it wouldn't be any more painful to keep doing it. On the other hand, paper cuts are the worst!!

Would you rather wake up in the morning looking like a giraffe or a kangaroo?

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Does it matter? It's just a silly question. ;) 

Would you rather speak “whale” or read babies’ minds?

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I can already do both. Both worthy abilities under the right circumstances...

Would you rather eat pizza every day or never eat pizza again?

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Hey, now, don't take pizza away from this New Yorker! It didn't say I could only eat pizza, or how much pizza I had to eat, so eating a little a day is much preferable to never eating it again. (P.S. This pizza is what I ate in Dubrovnik, Croatia, while on our Mediterranean cruise in 2008. Such good times!)

Would you rather stay forever at your current age or be 10 years younger?

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Ten times out of ten, I'd want to be a decade younger than I am right now. Getting older is for the birds! Especially now that my health has taken a sharp detour south for the past four years. Hit the rewind button, please!

~*~*~*~*~

Thanks for the fun meme, Bev! Y'all have a good week! Hopefully I'll be here on time next week for S9 & SS. I have to take my daughters to Boise Pride on Friday & Saturday.

Image result for tiny waving pride flag gif Cheers! Image result for tiny waving pride flag gif

Fin.


Sunday Stealing: Say Anything

Happy Mother's Day, thieves and thiefettes! Okay, so it's still Saturday evening here, but maybe by the time you read this that won't be the case. I'm gonna take that gamble! 😉

Link up here if you'd like to check out the rest of the Stealers!

~*~*~*~*~

Do you own your things or do your things own you?

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I hope I can honestly say it's the former. I'd love to be the minimalist type, which I am in theory, but in practice I'm more of a collector. I think I collect collections! I have some of my grandmother's and some of Rob's grandmother's spoons hanging from a display on the wall; I have my yarn, hook and needle collection, of course; I like to collect shot glasses from everywhere I go in the world... but these do not own nor define me. They just remind me of beautiful memories I've made. I'd be just as happy in a shack on the beach if we washed up penniless, though.

Would you rather lose all of your old memories or never be able to make new ones?

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I guess since I actually have this affliction, I'll say: never be able to make new ones. Part of "Succubus," as I call the conglomerate of conditions and disease with which I now find myself afflicted, is that I have lost the ability to translate most short-term memories into my long-term memory. It's depressing. It hurts. I hate it. But forgetting older memories - happy, lovely ones - I think would hurt much more.

How do you deal with someone in a position of power who wants you to fail?

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(Thank you, Hamilton, one of the greatest Broadway musicals I haven't seen yet.)

So when something like this happens to me, I usually go home and privately cry and pout for a minute, and then I get up, figure what I've got to do to meet and beat this challenge... and then I DO it!

What do you have that you cannot live without?

Josephine House

Well. On June 3rd, we are closing on this big, beautiful house in Mountain Home, Idaho. See, we owned a rather roomy house in Virginia Beach from 2003-2013, but it wasn't quite large enough for our growing family. (We ended up having more kids than we meant to have, hee.) Then we moved to a much smaller townhouse in Miami. We had so much stuff and faaaaaarrrr less room, so the place was cluttered the entire time we lived there. Drove me crazy!! We had to get rid of a lot of things, and since we are all sentimental, losing some of that hurts! Now, we live in a bigger single-family house in Boise, but it's still too small compared to the quantity of belongings we've amassed over the 18+ years of familyness we've created. And now, this new house on Josephine Street is so big, even if we didn't get rid of anything, we'd all fit happily - family AND pets AND schtuff. But the overarching theme of this entire dissertation is "family," and that's my final answer.

When you close your eyes what do you see?

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Nothing. Just like what I usually think of when I'm trying to make a snappy comeback.

What sustains you on a daily basis?

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On this one, I feel like I could wax philosophical about it being my family, my faith... or, as it happens, I'm probably mostly just waiting to find out what will happen next.

What are your top five personal values?

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In no particular order: Optimism, Loyalty, Sensitivity, Innovation, & Environmental Stewardship

Why must you love someone enough to let them go?

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I'm going to PASS on this one; it depends on the circumstances.

Do you ever celebrate the green lights?

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Hey man, I celebrate every chance I get!

What personal prisons have you built out of fears?

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Plenty, but right now, that's between my therapist and me.

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?

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Collected an advanced degree (or several), written the half-a-dozen or so books meandering around in my brain, traveled to more of the world, gone waterskiing...!

Why are you, you?

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I don't know, because they don't let me be Michelle Obama ever??

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

Puppies

I can answer this one honestly: kids. They just don't keep. And since I've been homeschooling them for the last decade or so, I haven't had a whole lot of opportunity to go freely traipsing about, y'know? And now that my health has taken a deep nosedive, there has been even less free time to do some of that stuff. However, now that the younger two kids shall be going to public high school next year, I'm going to take some of that time to work on writing my book(s). That is, of course, if the puppies let me.

What three words would you use to describe the last three months of your life?

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February

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April

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May.... well, today, actually!

Basically... waiting for Spring!

Is it ever right to do the wrong thing?  Is it ever wrong to do the right thing?

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Wait... what? Just kidding. I'm going to defer to my answer for the "if you love someone, let them go" question and say: It depends.

How would you describe ‘freedom’ in your own words?

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Okay, but first, a few quotes:

Freedom is the right to question and change the established way of doing things.

Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes – Mahatma Gandhi

Better to die fighting for freedom then be a prisoner all days of your life.

The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage!

I find that last one to be most provocative, for myself. So I'll say... Freedom is when you allow yourself to be who you are, when both external and/or internal pressures ask you to be something you're not.

What is the most important thing you could do right now in your personal life?

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Well, I've just done a thing: since I really need to go to my most excellent therapist, but often health issues keep me from getting there, we decided to start doing teletherapy for the days I can't get to her office in person. After a lengthy phone chat about it, I realized - oh! - I probably need to get a webcam for this, huh? She confirmed I did, so I got one on Friday. And yes, I looked just like that guy up there.

If you could ask one person, alive or dead, only one question, who would you ask and what would you ask?

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I would ask Beethoven if he was waiting to finish the 9th Symphony and, when he was finally satisfied that it was complete, then decided it was safe for him to give up the ghost. Because it is that perfect.

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

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I'd be singing my heart out on a stage, with no mic necessary, night after night after night!

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Well, it's 10:21 AM on Sunday, and I'm finally done! I slept overnight in the middle. Seems like I do that a lot. Heh.

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... to all you moms out there!

Fin.


Saturday 9: The Perfect Fan

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So this week's song chosen by Crazy Sam is more in my era: "The Perfect Fan," by the Backstreet Boys. However, I still don't know this song! 😂😂😂 Oh well. Once in a while one comes across my interwebs that I know, and that, my friends, is what we call excitement. Hee.

Make sure you link up here if you want to play along today!

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THE PERFECT FAN (1999)
 
Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.
 
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1) In this song, a son thanks his mother for helping him grow up strong and confident. Who is the last person you thanked? What did they do for you?
 
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My 17yo daughter, Chloë, surprised me with a ton of early gifts for Mother's Day last night, after running all over creation with her daddy. I had no idea what they were up to, so I was totally shocked - and she's got more coming! I can't believe it; I don't feel worthy of such things, such love, such delight. I'm still overwhelmed with gratitude.
  
2) Who was the last person to thank you for something?
 
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Ohh, I don't know. 14yo Sophia is thankful for her horse lessons every time she rides, and she's regularly expressing grateful for that.
 
3) This is from the Backstreet Boys' album Millennium, recorded and released in 1999. Do you remember where you were and what you were doing when 1999 turned into 2000?

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That was when I was phasing out of working on my PhD in the elasmobranch (sharks, skates, and rays) research lab in the Biology Department at the University of South Florida, and into working on my Master's in Science Education in the ed department. It was interesting, but... far less cerebral.
 
4) This song was written by Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell. Brian voiced himself on an episode of PBS' Arthur. Arthur has been described as an "animated anthropomorphic aardvark" -- which can be difficult to say. Do you easily get tongue tied?
 
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Yes, very easily! I'm especially prone to Spoonerisms, which are so common for me I feel they should be named after me. I do it all.the.time! It can be amusing, but also annoying (for me)!
  
5) The French word for "mother" is "mère." What other French words do you know?
 
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A lot, judging by how much I should be saying, "Excuse my French"!! 😂😂

6) Mother's Day is a big holiday for card shops. So are birthdays, weddings, and St. Patrick's Day. Hallmark sells greetings for everything from "Congratulations on Your New Job" to "Happy Retirement." Who received the most recent card you bought? 
 
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That would be my good friend since middle school, Erin, who has a postcard collection. Do postcards count? I send her a random postcard now and then. One just went out, on Thursday.
  
7) Have you put away your winter clothes yet?
 
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Nope. One moment it's 85ºF outside, the next it's 35ºF. I never know what to wear!
  
8) Mother Winters used to scold Sam for leaving her dirty dishes in the sink. Sam admits it: as a grown up, she's still a bit of a slob. Do lean toward "neat" or "messy?"
 
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I'm more like... "organised messy." I can't do a lot of cleaning or even picking up around the house very often, because of my massive health issues, and no one in my family seems to see or care about the messes. It's aggravating. I mostly hang out at my desk or in bed, and I have tons of papers all over my desk. It's a little crazy, but I do know where my stuff is!
  
9) To celebrate Mother's Day, Sam is giving away her mother's favorite: Hershey Bars. Would you prefer classic milk chocolate, dark chocolate or milk chocolate with almonds?

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Definitely the latter. Lately I'm ridiculously hooked on Green & Black's Organic Milk Chocolate with Almonds bars. So good. Anything Hersheys is now so inferior, it doesn't deserve to be called "chocolate"!  G&B are so yum. 

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Welp, this is going to be up way early: It's 3:30 AM on Friday! I kinda wish Sunday Stealing would be posted as early as Sam posts Saturday 9, because I tend not to participate if it's not up early. I'm tryin', though!

Y'all have a great weekend.

Fin.


Saturday 9: Don't Envy Me

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Hello, all! Okay, first of all, I had no idea that George Hamilton ever made a record. So there, I learned my something new for today. Thanks for that, Gal. I mean, uh, Crazy Sam! 😉 When Chloë and Jack are off to work later, and Rob takes Sophia to her horseriding lesson, I'll be all alone at home. Well, just me and the dogs. And the cats. And the rabbits. And, well, the fish. Anyway, it'll be quiet enough for me to listen to this one then!

Link up here if you'd like to play along today!

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Saturday 9: Don't Envy Me (1963)
 
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) What is it about you that you believe your friends and acquaintances envy?

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Hopefully nothing! I don't want anyone to feel envious of me at all.

2) Do you have a friend or acquaintance that you envy?

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Hmm, no, not really. I wouldn't say that

3) This song was not a hit, even though it was written and produced by the supersuccessful team of Burt Bacharach and Hal David. Tell us about a project you had great confidence in at the beginning, but didn't turn out as well as you'd hoped.

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Okay, first of all, I want this reef scene for my bedroom in the new house. Which one if you is going to come visit me in Idaho to help me achieve this?! 😂 Hm, let's see. In our house in Virginia Beach, I wanted to paint my office a dark burgundy. There was wallpaper in there before we bought it, but I couldn't get it off, so I painted over it. It took three coats, and it was still streaky. And then, on top of that, I tried to decoupage Fleur-de-lis shaped gold leaf emblems just above the chair rail, around the room. Let's just say that flopped, too. The whole effect was awful, and though we lived there for 10 years, I never fixed it.

4) George Hamilton is better known as an actor. He is proud of his performance in the 1960 movie Light in the Piazza. He played an Italian who romances an American girl on holiday in Florence. Did you ever find love while vacationing?

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Yes, more than once. When I was 14, my family took a Caribbean cruise and met several members of the Capó family, which owns the humongous furniture chain in Florida, El Dorado Furniture. My love interest on the ship was then-19yo Luis, the oldest son. We had a great time onboard; he has a bubbly, infectious laugh that I loved. The following Valentine's Day, he sent me a bouquet of cookie hearts. Then, when I moved into my dorm in Miami, Luisito sent me an enormous bouquet of peach-colored roses. They were gorgeous. He was my date to my first dance on campus, actually, but it was then that the attraction fizzled. I realized that, somewhere along the way, I'd lost interest.

5) George had a small part in Godfather III. How many of the Godfather movies have you seen? Have you read the book?

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I have not read any of it. When we lived on Guam, in 2002, I decided to visit the base library. They didn't have much, but they had the Godfather movies, which I'd never seen. So, with 15-month-old Chloë and fully pregnant with twins, I watched them then.

6) He's gotten a lot of publicity over the years for his personal life, including his 1966 romance with First Daughter Lynda Bird Johnson. At the time, she was living in the White House. Tell us about a memorable experience you had "meeting the parents."

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It wasn't the first time I'd met Ben's parents, but one time, they invited me over for dinner. His whole family was already at the table when I'd arrived. Halfway through dinner, I realized that their sweet black cow, Afro, wasn't out front when I'd gotten there. "Where's Afro?" I asked. They all started laughing. Ben replied, with a smirk, "You're eating her." I was so upset!!

7) George is also known for his year-round tan. Have you ever used a tanning bed? Or self tanner?

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I know far too much about the dangers of the sun - firsthand, no less - to ever have intentionally tanned on the beach or in a bed. Nope! I have done sunless tanner once or twice. I did not like either the effect or the smell, so that was it for me. I'll just be pale-ass-white.

8) In 1963, when this record was released, President Kennedy made a historic trip to Ireland. Have you ever visited the land of your ancestors?

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Not yet!

9) Random question -- The last of a batch of delicious chocolate chip cookies just fell on your kitchen floor. Would you eat it?

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I mean, yeah! Chocolate chip?! Of course.

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🍪🍪🍪 And now I want cookies. 🍪🍪🍪

Thanks for stopping by, y'all! Have a ferociously good weekend!

Fin.


Saturday 9: Every Time You Go Away

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Hey there, hi there, ho there! I'm comin' at ya from the bustling (heh) town of Pocatello, Idaho, where I'm staying in a Travelodge with my youngest child, 14-year-old Sophia. There's some kind of mariachi swing band playing loudly from the saloon at the other end of this corridor, and it's severely distracting. So if I bust into Spanish halfway through this post, you'll know why.

Link up here if you'd like to play along with us this weekend!

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Saturday 9: Every Time You Go Away (1985)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about separation. Who is the last person you said goodbye (or maybe just "so long") to?

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Well, that would be Sophia, I guess. I tried doing this meme from the hotel room, on my phone, and that was an exercise in frustration. We've got to get up around 5 AM - which means, really, for me that I'm not going to bed at all - so I said good-bye and goodnight. Hopefully she'll get some rest.

2) This week's featured artist, Paul Young, was a gifted athlete during his school days and briefly played professional football (aka soccer). Sam enjoys playing tennis, though her serve doesn't give Serena Williams anything to worry about. What's something you enjoy doing, even if you don't excel?

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I love playing badminton, but I haven't done it in ages upon ages!

3) Mr. Young and his wife Stacy were married for 31 years, until her death in 2018. What do you think is the key to a happy marriage?

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Good communication!

4) Paul Young's performance of this hit song was one of the highlights of the July 1985 Live Aid Concert. This international benefit raised more than $100 million to alleviate hunger in Ethiopia. Tell us about a charity you support.

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Have y'all heard of Global Citizen? You should join! It's totally FREE. For the cost of your time and maybe some clicks, you can support causes like: Female Empowerment, Global Health Initiatives, Environmental Conservation, Fighting World Poverty, World Hunger, the Clean Water problem, and so much more. Just sign up here, and you'll be on your way! You even earn points for completing these actions, and you can use those points for things like entering concerts. I've won two pairs of tickets to two concerts before! The last one was Metallica in November in Boise, and I sent Hubs and our son Jack. Very cool program.

5) This song was written by Daryl Hall, of Hall and Oates. What's your favorite Hall and Oates song?

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Maneater!

6) In 1985, when this song was popular, the New Coke was unsuccessfully introduced. What's the last beverage you drank?

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I'm drinking the Kroger/Fred Meyer version of a Diet Coke right now. I think Hubs packed, like, three dozen cans in the cooler for this trip, and I'll probably still run out. :/

7) In 1985, the New York Stock Exchange had to close because of Hurricane Gloria. Has a hurricane shared your name? (Find a list of recent/upcoming storm names here.)

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Melanie? Not to my knowledge... although I've lived through my fair share of storms. To wit, here are some: Blizzard of '93 (Syracuse, NY); Tropical Storm Gordon (in Miami); Hurricane... George or Henry or something, or both (St. Petersburg, FL), Supertyphoon Pongsona (on Guam); Hurricanes Isabel, Sandy, & Irene (all in Virginia Beach)... and much more big weather when we lived back in Miami again. We may have looooong winters here in Idaho, but they are pretty mild, speaking solely of precipitation.

8) 1985 was the year that the Titanic wreckage was discovered. There have been at least 11 movies and TV shows about the fatal voyage. Have you seen any of them?

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Yes, the Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet version of Titanic came out the Fall after I graduated college. I finally saw it when my excellent friend Shana came down to Miami from New York to visit me over winter break, and we took my roommate Jasper with us to go see it in Coconut Grove's CocoWalk. (Y'all from Miami know the place.) Great movie. I've seen it several more times since then.

9) Random question: Would you rather own and run a coffee shop or a shoe store? Why?

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I'd rather run the coffee shop. I wouldn't want to be touching peoples' gnarly, stinky feet all day!! Eww.

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Welp. Better go check up on Sophie to make sure she got some sleep - and maybe try, myself!

Fin.